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Reviews from
Thy Will Be Done


The Shakespearean Sonnet

  63 total reviews 
Comment by
mountainwriter49
FS Writer of the Year 2016
 
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HI, David

I thoroughly enjoyed this well penned, flawless Shakespearean sonnet. The Bard would be delighted with your skillful use of lofty language and keen word play. The rhyming is perfect as is the meter. (However, I'm not sure you're contest compliant since the rules call for strict iambic meter and don't speak to allowing the feminine meter variation).

Well done!
Ray


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
    Ray, if they consider this a Shakespearean sonnet contest, and they they think using feminine endings is not consistent with writing Shakesprearean sonnets, they know less than I thought. Thanks for the great review, my friend.

reply by mountainwriter49 on 16-Mar-2014
    dont' shoot the messenger! I'm just saying what the rules say. You know how these contests are...

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
    Actually, I don't. This is the first one I've entered, and it's debatable whether or not a feminine ending is outside strict IP since it's allowable in IP. I appreciate you mentioning it, but it's one of those things that bothers me here. If you mine Shakespeare's sonnets, they're rife with metrical substitutions and feminine endings. There's more of an art to using them properly as there is to staying chapter and verse in the unintended metronome. Anyway, off the soapbox, and not meaning to target you in my sights, my friend.

reply by mountainwriter49 on 16-Mar-2014
    We're cool! Thought of you when I was in Bull City last week. On Which side of the Capitol city are you located? Lifting a glass of vino roso to you and your fine sonnet!
    -rr

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
    Many thanks, Ray. I'm in Midtown, very near North Hills. I was born in the Bull City, though!

reply by mountainwriter49 on 16-Mar-2014
    Very Cool! I'm up and down Cap Blvd a couple times a month and love to dine at Vivace at NH. Total Wine isn't a bad place to spend time either.

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
    Been to both many times, as well as Lululemon right next to Total Wine. My house is just across Six Forks.

reply by mountainwriter49 on 16-Mar-2014
    We should connect sometime over a cup of something.

reply by the author on 16-Mar-2014
    Absolutely! Let me know next time you're in the neighborhood, or close.

reply by mountainwriter49 on 16-Mar-2014
    Will do!
Comment by
Julia.
 
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Er. Sonnets. I love 'em and hate 'em. Love reading well done ones like this, and hate trying to write them. Ok, well maybe not *hate*, but they don't come easily to me. I've been toying with trying to write one for the contest, but I have not been happy with results so far.

The final couplet here is great, and I like the description of a sonnet as a "storm", which strikes me as quite apt--a lot of thought/argument packed into a relatively short form.


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
    I love them, Julia! Thanks so much for your kind words. I appreciate it.
Comment by
Selina Stambi
 
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A sonnet about a sonnet .. what else would a confirmed sonneteer write about, for heavens' sake?

Nice play on words in the title. Clever, sir - very!


Entreating to thy Will, we leech the pen
To bleed immortal ink -- as mortal men .. fabulous!

All the best in the contest, David. Hope you are having a wonderful week.

Sonali :)


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 14-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, Sonali. I really appreciate it, my friend.
Comment by
Starlit Ink
 
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A sonnet about a sonnet was a super idea, and very creative. Your meter is correct, as the sonnet describes the ups and downs of a classic form. Your da-dum da-dum was delightful. Excellent pivot and ending couplet to finish up a worthy entry. Good luck!


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Starlit Ink. I really appreciate your kind review!
Comment by
zanya
Premier Author
 
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Interesting yes 'a box' - a tool within the parameters of which we can encapsulate our thoughts - a useful poetic tool and well analysed here


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, zanya. Your review is much appreciated!
Comment by
emjaihammond
 
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This is very nicely done and clever in nature. It is nice to see different sides to this form of poetry, all so foreign to me, but this one is so very interesting at the same time. I like the way you treat the subject matter at hand. It really seems to work well.


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much for the kind review.
Comment by
mfowler
 
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This is delightful David, you instruct and entertain at the same time. I wish my teaching could get that rhythm right every time. I digress. I love the idea of three quatrains docking adroitly to the couplet which it has to catch - great image. And your homage to the bard is great...couldn't agree more. Fun stuff here.


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Mark. I truly appreciate your great review!
Comment by
comanalbert
 
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Great word game with Will and interesting how a poet sees a sonnet. I was just considering it as a frame where the words are fixed to provide a wonderful song with images...Never thought the frame has its own life...


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Albert. I appreciate it, my friend.
Comment by
Visheshta Dahiya
 
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nice poem.!!!
very nice selection and use of words.
the description is done very well.
the vocabulary is very nice.
best wishes
Visheshta


 Comment Written 13-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Visheshta!

reply by Visheshta Dahiya on 13-Mar-2014
    welcome :)
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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  Rank:  12
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This work has reached the exceptional level

Super sonnet, David. I always think in fourteen lines just like Will. I guess his will is being done. You channeling the Bard again, or just cruising the channel? This sonnet is cooked to perfection as always, but where have all the fertility statues gone? Hmmmm?

Best wishes to you in the contest, because this is a winner.

Gloria


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 13-Mar-2014
    Thank you SO much, Gloria, for that sixer, and for your always kind and entertaining review. You always make me think, and always make me smile.
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