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Reviews from
Thy Will Be Done


The Shakespearean Sonnet

  63 total reviews 
Comment by
Dorothy Farrell
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  Rank:  46 (+1)
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  Rank:  151
 
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This is a lovely sonnet David - perfect iambic pentameter with your female endings in just the right place which help the flow. I particularly like your end rhyming couplet, especially the last line. Regards Dorothy


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Dorothy. I appreciate it very much! :)
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
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this is very well written, marillion, i enjoyed this unique sonnet about the sonnet writing process and a tip of the hat tp the bard. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thank you very much, my friend.
Comment by
michaelcahill
Level 1 Pro
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos
 
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This was very enjoyable and something about the notes just cracked me up for some reason. Maybe I need sleep! Hahaha. A sonnet about a sonnet. I don't know. To me that's hilarious. Plus this is all in perfect meter. It's easy to tell when it is. Funny, it isn't as easy when it's a little off. It's like a whispering ghost. (good image!) I'm getting close to feeling this daDum thing. I almost speak normally now. mikey


 Comment Written 12-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my friend! I thought it was a pretty funny and clever idea, too. Great image...whispering ghost. You should use that!
Comment by
paulah60
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
For those of us who aren't in the know, this is the perfect example of not just 'show' instead of 'tell', but show AND tell. Until now, I thought of a sonnet as a love poem of fourteen lines (three quatrains and a couplet) in iambic pentameter. But I've also just learned about the rhyme scheme of a Shakespearean sonnet! You're schooled in this; I'm not, but I do understand there's so much more to a poem than its configuration and its theme.
Your metaphors conjure up allusions to sailing ('Da-DUMming through three quatrains till it docks', an outstanding line btw): the sonnet IS the vessel; IS the storm the vessel moves through ('The sonnet is a storm, a tempest tethered'). I get that a good sonnet doesn't just describe these things, it BECOMES them, and so, takes the reader on that journey rather than having us just observe it. And your words transport US as they convey the sonnet is transported from another age to this one.

I love the last line, which gives us a sense of the eternal nature of this form: 'To bleed immortal ink -- as mortal men.'

Again, sublime work, David. You get my last six.
Cheers
Paula


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, my dear friend, for the gift of your final six! I absolutely love what you have to say, and your assertion that it BECOMES is the ultimate compliment, I think. I'm grateful, Paula.
Comment by
Katzintx
 
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Lol. Only you would do a sonnet on a sonnet. Lol. If I had six stars I would have given them for sheer vuts let Aline strong form. Katz


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    :) Thank you so much, Katz. I appreciate it, and your virtual sixer!
Comment by
c_lucas
 
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Have you ever thought what William Shakespeare could have produced if he had a WORD processor? This is very well written with a smooth flow of words. Good job.


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Charley. It's a good question, my friend. Willie would have loved choosing his font and the ability to make quick corrections.

reply by c_lucas on 13-Mar-2014
    You're welcome, Lindal. Charlie
Comment by
MM lives on :)
 
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seems simple enough to me poet of the peter meter patrol...lol..why then do most sonnets sound forced and like a washed up goat enduring some sort of fornicated squeal? Why must thee take measure with a free verse or free style poet like thy or "eye" see clearer as a musician with a bounce of sorts to lyrical fruition and the meter malicious folk will someday know, they come to my springtime symphony show.

well done and thanks for the education and someday good lad this Finnish born man will spin one for you, congrats on POM win early. :) Christopher


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thanks so much, Christopher. The peter meter patrol? Sounds more like a d*** measuring official. ;)

    The reason they sound so forced is because you're probably reading a lot of them from people still learning the form, so they're rife with inverted syntax, clanking meter, and other deficiencies. Done well, the juice is worth the squeeze. Thanks!

reply by MM lives on :) on 12-Mar-2014
    no lemons from you I see good lad and Mr. Poem of the Month congrats, lol :)
Comment by
tfawcus
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  Rank:  27
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  Rank:  62
 

#7 Ranked Novelist
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Well that wraps up the sonnet pretty well with ribbons round its box and you have dropped in a nice little compliment at the end to Will, the honored Bard.
"A tempest tethered by syllables" gives a good sense of the restrained power of this versatile and popular form.


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Many thanks, my friend. I really appreciate your great review and kind words.
Comment by
nancy_e_davis
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That's very clever David. Who but you would think of that.
A sonnet about writing sonnets.
Entreating to thy Will, we leech the pen
To bleed immortal ink -- as mortal men.
Wow How dramatic! That is how it is. We suffer and walk the floor and pull at our hair in order to try again to write that poem that wows them all! LOL Well done. Nancy


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 12-Mar-2014
    Thank you so much, Nancy. It was a fun little exercise, and a last second decision to enter it in the contest. I'd originally thought I wouldn't enter any of them, but this one seemed tailor-made to be in a sonnet contest.
Comment by
catch22
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I really like this clever sonnet about sonnet writing. Your iambs are spot on as always and and you make a compelling argument for pushing the boundaries of the form in terms of how the poem sounds. The volta was well done and I think this write was well in keeping with the Bard's spirit. I even love the feminine endings you used in tethered and weathered. Well done.


 Comment Written 11-Mar-2014



reply by the author on 11-Mar-2014
    Gail, thank you SO much for that sixer, my friend, as well as your wonderful and kind comments. I really do appreciate it! I was surprised to find how few people here know about the feminine ending allowability, and also that those lines have 11 syllables. Shakespeare did it all the time.


reply by catch22 on 11-Mar-2014
    Yes I learned from Brookes class. You're very welcome.
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