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Reviews from
Along the Jericho Road


Murder Mystery

  40 total reviews 
Comment by
boxergirl
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Yea! Great job, Bev. I am so glad that I was able to follow this journey with you. The Aftermath ties it all up in a neat little package for all the characters involved. Good luck as you pursue any publishing options that you may have! 8-)


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    What a gracious wonderful review, BG. I'm so very happy you were able to be along for the journey, too. Your insights, support, generosity and encouragement have meant a lot to me. And thanks so much for the good luck wishes. I'm in good hands with Rama Devi as my editor, so it will not be easy but it will make for a better story. You're da bomb! :) Bev

reply by boxergirl on 29-Aug-2014
    No, you da bomb! lol

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    hehehehe
Comment by
Joan E.
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  41
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  32
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
De rien--you are a terrific story teller! Thank you for introducing this final chapter/aftermath with a repeat of Jana's ritual and artfully calling it "Cancega/Drum". I appreciated your tying up of all loose ends and will miss the adventures of your intriguing characters. Cheers- Joan


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Joan, your words are magical! Thank you so much for your support, encouragement and interest in my novel. I am now going to have the challenging task of taking my 'baby' apart in order to make it better. I'll be using wonderful reviews like yours to help me in that process. I so appreciate you, my friend. Hope you have a wonderful holiday weekend. Hugs, Bev

reply by Joan E. on 31-Aug-2014
    I hope the editing process goes smoothly. I bet you'll be looking for more of the wonderful quotes for found to introduce more chapters. Many thanks for the good wishes--we are back in Northern, California, where we got the internet back. :) -Joan

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
    Hi, Joan. I enjoy quotes that lead into chapters myself. I think they can set an emotional tone for the writing.

    Have a wonderful Labor Day -- were you affected by the quake in Napa?

    :) Bev

reply by Joan E. on 01-Sep-2014
    Thanks for your concern--no, we passed through the area after the quake and before any significant aftershocks. The forest fire in Happy Camp made for murkiness, but all in all the trip was pleasant. Enjoy the remains of the summer- Joan

reply by the author on 01-Sep-2014
    Glad to know you weren't affected too much. I think we're going to be getting about another week of hot weather. Seems we're getting a heat spell in this part of the country. :) Bev

reply by Joan E. on 01-Sep-2014
    I suppose the last throes of summer. We just returned home to Malibu, where it is 81 degrees, which is warm for us.

reply by the author on 02-Sep-2014
    That sounds divine! :) Bev
Comment by
irishauthorme
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  413
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Expertly written, and expressed! Your skills continue to improve, and I admire your continued quest for the Holy Grail, the perfect novel. Many here at FS throw their creations at us and abhor any suggestions, and thus never improve. You take all comments, and grind them into a grist that fuels your stories. This has been a masterful tale, and while I have been away a lot, I managed to read and keep track of the characters.
Great effort, irish


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Hello, Irish. Thank you for this really wonderful review! I am honored by your insights and feel very fortunate to have found wonderful fellow writers such as yourself on FanStory. I'm never completely happy with anything I do which is both a curse and a blessing. Something I'm sure you understand. I've appreciated the level of support and suggestions so much. This is such a unique place for a writer to be, and if willing, to grow.

    Blessings, Bev

Comment by
lindalcreel
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
I'm sorry to see this story end, but I'm sure you'll be posting something new soon. You did a wonderful job of detailing all of the subplots and pulling them altogether at the end. Kudos and keep up the great work.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Hi, Lindal. Thank you so much for this awesome review. It's gratifying to know that you felt I pulled things together with this epilogue. That helps a lot!

    I truly appreciate all your support and encouragement.

    Hugs, Bev

reply by lindalcreel on 29-Aug-2014
    My pleasure, Bev. Looking forward to the next post.
Comment by
Adri7enne
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  158
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Way to go, tying up all the loose ends, Bev. Now the heavy work begins. Are you thinking of submitting it to a regular publisher? It's a whole, complete novel, with good characters and a darn good story line. It's original and unique in a great many ways. The blending of native American lore with modern forensics is a fascinating idea.

Congratulations, Bev. I'm so sorry I didn't save a six for this final chapter. You've earned a dozen stars for this completed work. Way to go, girl!!!


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Adrienne, you've been such a wonderful support for me throughout this very long venture. Your insights and suggestions have helped me become a better writer, and I am in your debt for that.

    I am working with Rama Devi to trim, tighten and strengthen the story. It's really too long for the average publishing house, so I've got my work cut out for me. As I'm working on that, I have another novel I'll be posting. I'm vacillating between two, actually.

    Your wish for a six is really icing on the cake, my friend. You rock!!

    Love, Bev

reply by Adri7enne on 29-Aug-2014
    Ah, shucks! T'weren't nothin! LOL!
    Now the heavy work begins, but it's good to get an objective eye following the intricacies of the story line and giving you good advice. Good luck with it all.

    Waiting for the next one. Next! LOL!

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Yes, heavy work indeed. Not easy to let my 'baby' be scrutinized! But Rama is really very good at encouraging while correcting. And she's very reasonable.

    How's your queries coming along? I would love to see your sweet, uplifting story available to buy, my friend.

    Hugs, Bev
Comment by
Cumbrianlass
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Ah, Bev, I just love all these final stitches you've woven into this amazing tapestry of a book. Congratulations, my friend. This is a fantastic achievement - one of the best books I've ever read on this site and better than tons I've read off it.

I'm damn sure it will be published, and I expect a signed copy when that happens.

Brilliant work. So proud of you and so proud to know you.

Love Av

xx


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Dear Av, thank you seems inadequate to convey how much your many contributions have helped me with this project. From the inspiration of reading your own writing, to the details of tightening the piece, all of it has been absolutely invaluable. You will, most certainly, be one of the first to know if I ever get this puppy published LoL. You're one classy lady, my dear friend.

    Love, Bev
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  84
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  222
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Congratulations on the ending chapter, my friend. How interesting to read the ending before finishing the beginning, lol - It gives a new spin on my first read through!

Sounds like a satisfying closing for all.

Good delivery, pacing and sentence mechanics.

Just a couple of minor suggestions:

* Not sure these commas are needed before and after III

Agent Dresden Stredwick, III, delivered his final report in person.


Suggest

Agent Dresden Stredwick III delivered his final report in person.


As you know, I cannot yet comment about the full arc of the plot etc. Will let you know while we go through it slowly.

Love,
rd
*Agnes Longacre would not leave the reservation for the recommended physical therapy sessions(,) stating she would heal faster under the care of her brother and tribal healer, Tony.

Good ending for Edward...at least some good karma cold come to him that way!


Lots of Love, rd


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Thanks so much, Rama. As always, good suggestions for changes to make. I love that you remarked about Edward's karma because that's just what I had in mind! Something good will come of it for a deeply troubled soul.

    I'm so happy I've got you to help me with getting this novel trimmed and tightened. I am confident that together we will come up with something as near perfect as I can make it.

    Love, Bev

reply by rama devi on 29-Aug-2014
    Yes! :-))))) Happy too. Love, rd

reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    :) xxxxx
Comment by
Gargantuan2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Nice wrap-up. I thought I would share that, as a night auditor in a hotel, I had a guest who'd left only 2 weeks ago that had stayed with us over a year... his Name was Morales. Keep on writing, I would love to see more.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Thanks so much for sharing the irony, G. And I much appreciate your fine, encouraging review. Regards, Bev
Comment by
jadapenn
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Aw, sorry that this story came to an end as all stories have to. But I hope there is a sequel in the offing. These detectives must have something interesting to keep them occupied and we need to read more about them. Loved the story. Well done. luv jada


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Jada, thank you so much for following along on my journey into this novel. I appreciate so much all your support, generosity and encouragement. I'm formulating a sequel, but must put the editing of this one on the front burner.

    Hugs, Bev
Comment by
Bryana
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Rating of Chapter 70 -
Cancega Moon
Dear friend, I must confess that I missed some chapters since I've been very busy this year. I admire your style of writing and I hope you start another story.
It made me sad that Edward Pierce's body had to be donated since he had no next of kin.
You are a very talented writer, it's a pleasure reading your work.


 Comment Written 29-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 29-Aug-2014
    Hi, Bryana. So nice to hear from you. Thank you for this grand review. Your support and encouragement are deeply appreciated.
    Especially given the time constraints.

    It is sad that Edward's body was rejected in death just as it was abused in life, but medical students learn a lot from the cadavers which translates to benefits for the living. As one reader remarked, it's good Karma.

    Warmest regards, Bev
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