God Whispers to Me a Life
What God whispers to me about a life. Pl read Author Notes
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Reviews from
Poetry From The Heart


Viewing comments for Prologue "Shooting Stars"

A book in honor of National poetry writing month.

  14 total reviews 
Comment by
nelliesellie
 
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Many people feel the past generations are to be revered. We realize life is short. Sometimes we are too busy establishing our lives'. We know we will become part of the past generations. Great work.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    I am delighted you saw so much meaning in my poem. Thank you for sharing.
Comment by
MissMerri
Merri, Premier Author
 
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Such a great metaphor you've used here! I really like this poem. I like how you use concrete examples of sparks and fleeting light and then relate that so neatly to a fleeting life. You even added the perfect moral... Don't procrastinate. It seemed like a dash of ironic humor to me, which made the poem all the more appealing. Rhymes and meter are just right too. Well done.


 Comment Written 01-May-2014



reply by the author on 01-May-2014
    Such a welcome review and response to this poem, MissMerri. I truly appreciate your wonderful praise.
Comment by
reconciled
 
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Beautiful write...always impressive. ....you are on steroids....there is no other explanation....-smile-....great stuff mike....love ya man Michael


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 25-Apr-2014
    Thank you for your very kind praise, Michael. I am delighted you like the poem.
Comment by
Connie P
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I absolutely loved the poem. Very descriptive and with one exception, it has a great rhythm. The second line in stanza 2 threw the count off. Otherwise, great!
Connie


 Comment Written 23-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
    Thank you for sharing my poem, Connie, and your review. I am a bit confused by what you mean by "threw the count off." What are you counting?

reply by Connie P on 24-Apr-2014
    So sorry, I should have made myself more clear. The entire poem except that one line has a cadence da dum da dum da dum, etc., then the one line stands out (to me at least) and breaks the rhythm. The only suggestion I can make is to tighten this line a bit, maybe see how it flows without the word "mighty".

reply by the author on 24-Apr-2014
    I know what you are referring to now. Thank you. Yes, I sometimes have a penchant for sacrificing the rhythm for the rhyme. Indeed the poem is primarily written in iambic, but for the sake of the rhyme in lines 2 & 4 I shifted briefly to trochaic. I suppose I could justify doing this by saying the change breaks up the sing-songiness. RodG
Comment by
1954speed
 
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A good rhythm and thoughtful message. Was a pleasant read about some things not usually associated together but brought to one in the final stanza. Thanks


 Comment Written 23-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
    Thank you so much for sharing my poem and your review.
Comment by
Lothlorien
 
 
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This poem flows well, and the rhymes seem natural, not forced. I really like how it descibes the shooting stars, because I really enjoy watching meteor showers.


 Comment Written 23-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 23-Apr-2014
    I am always delighted when a reader enjoys the "flow" of the poem as well as its content. Thank you for sharing.
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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good use of abcb rhyming
excellent use of enjambment
vivid detail of setting
nice touch of alliteration in hefty hammer
effective simile with the lightning bugs
a compelling message in your closing
Brooke


 Comment Written 12-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 12-Apr-2014
    Thank you, Brooke, for sharing and your wonderful commentary.
Comment by
akulkumol
 
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Beautiful poem mixed with beauty of the night sky and the legends of mythology, so many thoughts flooded the mind along with the showering shooting stars. Loved reading it and thanks for sharing.


 Comment Written 09-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 09-Apr-2014
    Thank you for sharing "Shooting Stars" and your kind praise.
Comment by
2020 Poet of the Year
royowen
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#1 Ranked Reviewer!
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I love this, written inspiringly about the shortness of life, not letting life pass you by before you actually make a difference! I love the metaphorical shooting stars and lightning bugs to emphasise the narrative! Well done, good write, blessings, Roy.


 Comment Written 09-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 09-Apr-2014
    So pleased you enjoyed this poem and am pleased my message was so clear. Thanks for sharing.
Comment by
El Coyote
 
 
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What a wonderful blend of history, mythology and imagery. The poem had great rhyme and meter and ended with some sound advice. Well done.


 Comment Written 09-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 09-Apr-2014
    Thank you so much for sharing this poem and your kind praise.
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