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Reviews from
The Bard of Bel Air


Viewing comments for Prologue "Prologue"

A homeless man sees more than people realize.

  22 total reviews 
Comment by
omerta16
 
 
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Alright Mikey, you got me intrigued with this one. I was gonna start on the third chapter just cuz it was the object of the notification I had in my inbox, but glad I decided to start at the beginning. I like the obscure prologue, it has a malevolent feel and promise's to introduce a clever and murderous villain. I'm interested to see who he was speaking to and the father he was alluding to. The quick peek at the crime scene and the detective was done right and gave us as readers a good sense that we were about to dig into a quality story. Great job Mikey.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
sandramitchell
Level 1 Pro
Sandra Mitchell
Sandra Stoner Mitc
 
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  Rank:  51
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  Rank:  27
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Excellent
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I saved all these chapters because I couldn't get to them straight away. This sounds as if it going to be a really good book, and I have a few chapters to get into it now! xsx Sandra


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014


Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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 Rank:  107
 
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I have mixed feelings about this one. I enjoyed the poem...very clever and the prose was, in my opinion, a bit shaky. It didn't completely capture my interest, but I do plan on reading chapter 1 to see where this may be leading.


 Comment Written 17-Apr-2014


Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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  Rank:  123
 
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I'm not sure I followed the poetry, but it was intriguing as a lead-in. I must move on to the first chapter to see what's coming, so I guess that speaks volumes about whether or not your prologue 'hooked' your reader...*grin*


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2014


Comment by
l.raven
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  Rank:  195
 
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LOL...you are no more a goof then the rest of us...scary...Ok lets see where she takes us...I love when you say short stories...LOL...Ready-set-GO....Luff ya Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2014


Comment by
Millibrad
 
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Oh what an intriguing adventure this promises to be. I'm sure you will not disappoint. I can hardly wait for Tenaya to begin peeling away the layers.


 Comment Written 16-Apr-2014


Comment by
GracieAnn
 
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Mikey, this is a creative introduction to a story. For me a list of characters always helps keeps things straight or a more detailed stage setting helps me. You could go places with this one. At first I thought it was a halibun. LOL :0 GracieAnn


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014


Comment by
Nichola
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I like the non sequitors in this poem. It was entertaining and interesting. The language is fun and descriptive. I see you have some onamotopeas in your poem which adds a Dr. Seuss flavor. I enjoyed reading this. Thanks for sharing.

Nichola


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014


Comment by
Tatarka2
 
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This is intriguing, especially in form. I really like the way you start with a poem. The rhyme works well in a lyrical sense. I'm not sure about the street slang - I'm just not familiar with it. I like the idea of combining this with the beginning of a mystery story. I'll be interested to see where this goes.


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014


Comment by
ravenblack
 
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Hmmm...Citizen Kane with the Bard as town cried/ wise jester. And you really caught the voice of his streets without it sounding forced. I think you have a winner here. I have always liked your poetry/prose combos. Keep it going.


 Comment Written 15-Apr-2014


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