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Reviews from
The Bard of Bel Air


Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Observations and Introductions"

A homeless man sees more than people realize.

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Nosha17
 
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I like your story, guess murder stories are always popular. This detective seems to be on the ball and the Bard is an interesting character, too. Good narrative and dialogue and enjoyable read. Faye


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
Michaelk
I work to survive,
but I write to live.
 
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A good chapter. Nice pacing. I'm curious if the bard is about to show the detective a revelation, or a red herring. I liked your Bruce Willis cameo, very nice. As for moby dick, quequag would be displeased with you. :) Good job, looking forward to the next chapter.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
nelliesellie
 
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The funeral is a good place to start. First, keep a record of who is at the funeral Then mingle and listen. Ask a few innocent questions. The guilty are usually smart enough to attend. The work begins. Great work.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
Millibrad
 
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Love the poem. Good alliteration with "pretty pistol packing, Harpster's Harp, doctor draped."
I like how this is shaping up and suspect it won't be long before Detective Adrian begins getting pressured to back off.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
nordicgirl
 
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Don't be in any hurry. Write this at your pace and not to satisfy the site. You are developing the characters perfectly and the story has a good pace. This isn't the end of the world like your last piece. No hurry. So far so good. Lovethe two main characters. Give each new charcter the same attention. NG


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
seaglass
 
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This is a very good use of opportunity to further understanding of these two characters. Explaining mental illness also good strategy.For those who are unenlightened, it will help them understand Bard and for those who are enlightened, recognition of some of the survival ploys of this population will validate. I'm sucked in, perhaps because of years of working with mental illness. or maybe due to being a bit off center me-self.


 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
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He looked out of place in more ways than one. He looked human for one thing. << Excellent!

I already love the Bard, as you want us too. Good character work on him. I can't wait to hear what he has to say. And I love the fact he's mentally ill.

Bruce Willis is one of my favorite actors... good choice. :)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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 Comment Written 18-Apr-2014


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