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Reviews from
The Bard of Bel Air


Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Q, The Clubhouse & Bullfrogs"

A homeless man sees more than people realize.

  18 total reviews 
Comment by
ravenblack
 
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I'm liking the direction you are going, I'm just a little confused about the clubhouse. Is it akin to an abandoned children's fort or an actual clubhouse gone to ruin?


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2014


Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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 Rank:  104
 
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This is developing nicely. Colorful characters, fascinating story that I am enjoying very much. Great chapter and I look forward to the next one. You know me, why mess with something when it is already just fine.


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2014


Comment by
nordicgirl
 
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I could have sworn i reviewed this. I read it for sure. Excellent interaction between Tenaya and the Bard. He is amazing and you arr on the money eith his mental illness. Crazy does not mean stupid. Love this more than anything you havr written. That is saying someyhing!!! NG


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2014


Comment by
GracieAnn
 
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Mikey, the description you give of the tree house does give Bard an unique perspective and the murderer wouldn't be the wiser. Adrian has her work cut out for her. Good job. :0 GracieAnn


 Comment Written 22-Apr-2014



reply by the author on 22-Apr-2014
    Hi! I'm reading all of your reviews and following your advice. Oops. I have to add the character list. See, that was your idea. My internet keeps crashing and I can't type on my phone very well. So, I have all day to write and just an hour or two on line. So, reviews first. But, I am listening and encouraged and so appreciative of the great input. Thank you!!!! mikey
Comment by
Michaelk
I work to survive,
but I write to live.
 
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Good chapter. The bard seems to know quite a bit. I wonder how long until the detective can get it all out of him. I was struck by an idea...What if this entire death was staged? The doctors could be in on it, and harpster comes back after everyone has done their thing. Just a thought.


 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


Comment by
CR Delport
 
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Mike, this is another well written chapter with good descriptions and solid dialogue. It flows nicely and each character is really starting to show their mettle. Good job.


 Comment Written 21-Apr-2014


Comment by
Tatarka2
 
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I am loving the allusion to sixties rock songs, and also the juxtaposition of poetry (the Bard's and your own) with the prose. I'm getting the idea that the Bard is crazy like a fox. I think this could be a very marketable product. So far, it has all the elements - mystery, rich people, ordinary people, a crazy person, and I'll bet you'll introduce a romantic element. Great start.


 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014


Comment by
Darkhorse555
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really a very enjoyable piece of writing smiled when i read this thinking back to being a frog slippery slimy toad slipped into their abode."beautifully penned mikey happy easter dear friend in our lords light peace and love


 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014


Comment by
l.raven
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Hi Michael, sounds like Bard is not so stupid as you think...does have a place to live...and if she keeps lessoning she may just learn somethings...how can people be mad when they are not in a will. it was never theirs...give it up...I hate that...well lets she what she can find out...so very well written...Luff Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014


Comment by
nelliesellie
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
The bard is nuts but he is giving the police probity's. The family sees dollar bills and will be willing to tell on each other. The employees know a lot of family secrets. It is just beginning to get interesting. Great work.


 Comment Written 20-Apr-2014


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