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Reviews from
The Bard of Bel Air


Viewing comments for Chapter 10 "More Relatives and Visiting a Friend"

A homeless man sees more than people realize.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Darkhorse555
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now i know what the sense of this feel of a hospital, but none of the urgency or smells you draw quite beautiful mikey sorry i have not been around much beautifully penned a delight to read excellent piece dear friend


 Comment Written 27-Apr-2014


Comment by
ravenblack
 
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The sting of alliteration- ouch! Sounds like something fishy is also going on at the cryogenic institute. Just a thought-Disney is a corpscicle too. Might be funny to have the bard run across him.


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


Comment by
seaglass
 
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Great development and wonderful descriptions to keep reader present.

"you'll be leaving (it) without it. Get what we are saying?"(you could leave the first it out for better flow)


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


Comment by
Tatarka2
 
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I love the way the Bard keeps inserting his poetic messages that sound crazy but are really the most realistic version of events that is possible. The dialogue in this chapter seemed especially well done, and kept the chapter moving along at a steady, and intriguing, pace. Good job.


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


Comment by
l.raven
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Hi Michael, just leave it to the girls....they know how to (is the word I am looking for) snoop...LOL...clues are coming to the surface...gi with it man...I'm loving this...Next...on my way,,Luff Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


Comment by
CR Delport
 
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Sounds there was a lot of suspicious activity surrounding the death of Blackwell. This is another chapter that is well written with no observable errors.


 Comment Written 26-Apr-2014


Comment by
GracieAnn
 
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Mikey, I did like this one. It seemed to have more cohesiveness and drops a few hints about where the freezer is located. A mental institution would be the last place anyone would suspect. But then again, he may not be dead after all and still calling the shots. Getting good. :0 GracieAnn


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


Comment by
Nosha17
 
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This was a great chapter, too. The plot thickens and it was very informative. Both women are very skilled at their jobs, we need more of their sort in the force. Characters are well drawn and lifelike and the narrative is great. Most enjoyable, Faye


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


Comment by
Millibrad
 
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Wow. The plot unfolds almost faster than I can keep up, and in a highly interesting way.
At the pace you are writing I expect you will catch SPAG on revision. I did notice that you are still having a problem with there and their.

I'm beginning to think the Bard is not so crazy after all, that his entire persona is a ruse. Guess I'll have to wait and see.


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


Comment by
nordicgirl
 
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You really don''t know what is going to happen next do you? No wonder everything flows so naturally. You have nerves of steel!!! Genius having theBard show up at the institute. That gets teneaya there without a warrant!!! NG


 Comment Written 25-Apr-2014


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