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Reviews from
Dark Tales


Viewing comments for Chapter 1 "The House in the Woods"

A collection of short tales of the supernatural

  64 total reviews 
Comment by
JasmineNikki
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This was a great read! I thought the part with the ghost encounter had the right amount of detail to convey the fear he was experiencing - it was very believable.
I thought the house becoming dusty and old was a nice touch to set the scene.
I loved it!


 Comment Written 16-May-2015



reply by the author on 16-May-2015
    Hi! And thanks for a great review on an old piece.
Comment by
Donya Quijote
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This was indeed a fun read. I love ghost stories, especially when told around a campfire or around Halloween. Tried to one once and failed, as you already know.

I like the use of the first person in this story. It really allows me to become the character and feel the character's emotions. I don't have to project. Also like the descriptive aspect of this ghost story as you only tell us what is necessary to create the scene or convey fear. Many written ghost stories fail in this regard, and often leave me saying ho hum. Still I read them.

Story moves at a good pace. Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between the character's reality and his potential hallucination. It was fun and subtle. In the right circumstances, this could be a scary story and the first person does seem to convey that fear. Boo!

I like you description of the ghost and how it didn't really hang around long. The character's passing out was a good reaction to an encounter of the unexplained kind.

One thing, and this is not a criticism, I do think his reaction, selling the house and all his possessions to start a new life someplace else, taking with him only his typewritten. His experience to me was not the cringe worthy type a la Amityville etcetera. I guess it's because I don't believe in them personally and this encounter seems rather benign compared to others. Until I meet one, I can't even predict how I would react. However, it is too bad that the old TV show the Twilight Zone is not still in production. I think this would have made great show for such a program.

Really enjoyed this one, thus the six stars...


 Comment Written 04-May-2014



reply by the author on 04-May-2014
    Thanks for the sixer, too!
Comment by
ravenblack
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very atmospheric, Brock's passage from fog and snow to the house- I knew it was a ghost house from the beginning, the whiteout as if he passed the plain between life and death. The actual haunt, the brief paragraph with the ghost, was very well written. I know this is flash fiction, but it is crying out to be a bit longer.


 Comment Written 03-May-2014



reply by the author on 03-May-2014
    I appreciate your comments and your suggestion that it could be longer. The deadline was fast approaching, and I had a little trouble figuring out the end. And then a reviewer told me to look at the pronoun "I". Usually, I write first-person without a problem but ... Ended up cutting 25 to 30 of those beasts and having to do a little rewriting.
Comment by
country ranch writer
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  289
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  122
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Review Stars
  Rank:  227
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A GHOST HOUSE INT HE WOODS IS NOY A GOOD SIGN OR EVEN KISSING GHOSTS I DO NOT BLAME HIME I WOULD SHAG IT OUT OF THERE TOO RIGHT AWAY


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Glad you liked it, and thanks for the humor!

reply by country ranch writer on 02-May-2014
    WELCOME
Comment by
Cumbrianlass
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great story. Unforced, totally believable, and just scary enough to keep me out of the shadows for the rest of the night!

I only have one observation for your consideration:

Please, do come and get warm." She stepped aside to let me pass. "Here, I'll take your coat." - just a thought, Nor. I wonder if he wouldn't have spoken before being let over the threshold. Stammered out a chin-chattering 'Sorry to bother you, but I'm freezing my nads off'' or something? Not a biggy, but you put me in the scene (skilfully, I might add) and that's what occurred to me.

LOVE the realization that he was immersed in something other-worldly.

There was something cold in that room. You could feel it. Yes. Nicely inserted. As the actress said to the bishop.

(I am awful. My mother would be horrified.)

The colorless apparition stared for a second or two, put a finger to its lips, and glided toward me. - Well, that's my good night's sleep done for the night.

kissed me with a ragged mouth as cold as the grave from which it came.- Oh, crap.

Yep. Really well done, Nor. Strong narrative, great dialogue, spine chilling plot. Has to be a contender.

Bravo, my lady!



Av


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Now I bet you thought his one was about Hans. Sorry to disappoint.

    I like your idea about the stammering, but can't revise as it's before the contest committee now, and I don't want to screw up my chances. Hope you're right about it being a contender. Humpwhistle (Lee Hill) has an entry, and that's got me biting my nails.

reply by Cumbrianlass on 02-May-2014
    I haven't read Lee's yet. Yours is a strong entry. I like Raven's too. Hans would never get lost in a wood, but if he did and ended up on some woman's doorstep, she'd not wait for a stammering intro. She'd just grab him and haul him inside.

    Well, I would, for sure. :)

reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Now I wonder how I knew that about you, LOL!
Comment by
write hand blue
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  643
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A creepy tale about what happened in the woods.

Dialogue and character interactions are good.

A compelling read, both visual and creative.

A good contest entry. :) mel.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Hi, Mel, and thanks for your review and comments. I hope the committee agrees with you.
Comment by
Maltese Falcon
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
what a creepy tale. I hope you turn it into a novel or something as I think its full of potential. reminds me a little of a film I saw a few years ago.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thanks for liking and reviewing it and for your comments, Falcon.
Comment by
Leineco
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very nicely done! Great attention to details and setting (with the antiques, the chandelier, the velveteen chair, the oil lamps, etc). I like that you didn't draw the suspense out unnecessarily (it felt honest), and Mike, sure took it in stride - indicating that a legend already existed. . .or at least was whispered "about town". My favorite part though, was that Brock did what any "real" person would do. . .get the heck out of Dodge! Only in the movies do the people shrug it off and hang around - - -inviting disaster! LOL

Good story :-)


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    That's what I'd do too, and Brock was a wealthy author. He could afford to relocate fast. Glad you liked it, Leineco. It was fun to write.
Comment by
JudyS
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
nor84, What a fun story. And creepy, to say the least. Don't blame Brock for getting as far away from that house as possible. Excellent read, I really enjoyed it. I love a good mystery. Judy


 Comment Written 01-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thanks, Judy. Glad you liked it.
Comment by
2016 Novelist Of The Year
Jacqueline M Franklin
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hey Nor

Well told story. I like the artwork for this piece as well, with it's haunting apparition look.

Love it when he turns the sign to closed! Very good ending.

Cheers
Keep Smilin'... Jax


 Comment Written 01-May-2014



reply by the author on 01-May-2014
    Yes, that picture was the PERFECT one. Yes, Jax, I didn't think about it, but 'closed' is better than THE END. Appreciate your comments and review.
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