Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Flash Fiction
Deadline: Today!

Rhyming Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

Write A Script
Deadline: Sep 25th

ABC Poetry Contest
Deadline: Sep 30th

Haiku Poetry Contest
Deadline: Oct 6th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
Wine, Women and Longing


A Sonnet

  35 total reviews 
Comment by
Dustybones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Very nice. What I like is this phrase- wine imbibed all night-Imbibbed- wow- I the word in the sense you've used it in connection with tasting hot sex or maybe that is overstated a bit. Cya Buddy!


 Comment Written 01-Aug-2014


Comment by
Diny
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Now that's the way a sonnet should be written!- I just got done reading another and it was poorly crafted with forced rhymes and random thoughts... The sight seems to be going downhill... only those who promote more than a dollar are getting sufficient readings... sad. But so good to read you again David, the best poet I've ever known!- Write on Diny


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2014


Comment by
emrpoems
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Marillion I wonder if you muted because I expressed myself honestly. Some I don't like some I love why deprive me of the joy of reading poems like this one.
Sensuous but tasteful like your two last lines
Shakespeare would be proud of you and so am I
Great use of metaphor
Excellent consonance of P sounds


 Comment Written 12-Jul-2014


Comment by
Acquired Taste
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
David, this is so lovely - I hope Dawn has thanked you appropriately! A very nice sonnet and the The Bard, I am sure, is pleased you emulate his work.

You have a flair for the romantic as well as the bawdy and present both your inimitable panache.

AT=/


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2014


Comment by
Aiona
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  277 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  171
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  37
Script Rating
  Rank:  9
Review Stars
  Rank:  171
 

#9 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Shakespeare would be proud to see someone emulate him with this. :) Lots of allusion and metaphor, and isn't that what Shakespeare, bawdy as he was, was all about??? Love the sonnet. What a wonderful way to lose a bet!


 Comment Written 21-Jun-2014


Comment by
ScarletAfflictions
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Ohhhhh I LOOOOOOVVVVVEEEEE this one!!!! I mean, can you hear the females in the crowd audibly PURR?! lol. You're so good at this, my friend!

I mean that ending. A girl could blush!


 Comment Written 03-Jun-2014


Comment by
rama devi
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  154
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Ah, I bet Dawn was wonderfully pleased! A real love sonnet from the Rogue's better twin...who has just as perfect mastery of meter, rhyme and subtle poetic nuances. Delicious to read aloud. Lovely and tender write. Love the subtle overtones of wit in the fourth line. Clever!

Sorry I missed this one. Have not been here much for the past month. Traveling and working. :)

NOTES

My love for you is best expressed in print
Because my lips forbid I speak it thus--
And so I bleed my heart in ink to hint
That I would change the you and I to us.

Great rhymes and assonance of I as well.

My love for you is simply complicated,
Much like a cask of wine imbibed all night-- (lol)
Adept at getting one inebriated
Until the blinding shafts of morning light. (potent line)

Clever rhyming here as well--highly unique. Good feminine end rhyme. Good consonance and alliteration of C sounds and consonance of B in blinding and inebriated as well.

But when consumed with care, it's rich and deep,
Exotically erotic -- purely pure--

Delicious, both in meaning and phrasing. Superb alliteration of C, E and P--and consonance of C too, in exotically erotic

Nice internal near rhyme:

A taste well-placed, and one to always keep

This line is not as refined as the rest--perhaps with the unnatural emphasis on THAT:

Within my reach, so that it may endure.

Here's an idea:

Within my reach, so it may then endure.

Superb closing couplet with (intentional or not) good double entendre:

If you'll become the wine I take in sips,
Then pour yourself -- I'll raise you to my lips.

Superb consonance of P sounds.

Almost a six.

Love,
rd


 Comment Written 21-May-2014


Comment by
9999pool
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As in many love sonnets, this one is love not requited. There is so much yearning and hoping in the heart to have one we wanted to love and kiss but somehow words got in the way.
We were left in limbo like a cat wanting to catch a swimming fish but afraid to get its paws wet.
Maybe, just maybe, one day, that cat will catch the fish - but not to eat it but to swim with it in the free ocean of love forever. Nice twist to the story as in most sonnets, smiles.
Greta write. Well penned.
Cheerio, best, Ritchie. :))


 Comment Written 14-May-2014


Comment by
michaelcahill
Level 1 Pro
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This transported me to a scene in a king's court with a bunch of suitors trying to win the hand of a beautiful princess. Acrobats and singers all trying to impress. Then you walk up and hand her a scroll to read. As you walk back to your place you look at the other suitors and say, "You never had a chance." I think while everyone is on watch for the Rogue that it is best they keep an eye out for YOU!!! Hahahah. Awesome piece. mikey


 Comment Written 04-May-2014


Comment by
Bryana
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well David, you came back with a fabulous poem
dedicated to our Dawn of Tomorrow. I'm so happy
to see you no matter what you write, I know it's
going to be beautifully written like this poem as.
I know dawn is going to be very happy.

Have a fabulous week my friend.


 Comment Written 04-May-2014


  -1-  2 3 4  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Forced to flee...
In search of a dream


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy