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Reviews from
Wine, Women and Longing


A Sonnet

  35 total reviews 
Comment by
Just2Write
 
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It's nice to see that you pay your debts fully. This is not the work of a sore loser, but of a gifted and gracious writer. So you, and yet - a gentler, kinder poetic than the rakish rogue.
I always look forward to reading your work. This one did not disappoint.
Rose.


 Comment Written 04-May-2014


Comment by
padumachitta
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Hi. Well I'm glad you lost the bet. :-) I like the imagery..certainly it is a love sonnet...with your hint of rascal. Again nice to see your name...padumachitta


 Comment Written 04-May-2014


Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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Wow, you're amazing, David, seriously. This is the kind of poem every women secretly wishes was written just for her (the 'knight in shining armour' syndrome, or Prince Charming found! LOL)

Your talent is limitless, obviously, your imagination totally free. I can't single out any word or phrase, yet again, because this sonnet is perfect in every stroke of your pen. (keyboard - LOL)

No sixes left, sadly...sigh...


 Comment Written 03-May-2014


Comment by
MizKat
 
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Hi David,

You wrote your poem, "Wine, Winning and Longing very well. The rhyming in it is wonderful too. Sorry you lost a bet with Dawn of Tomorrow.

MizKat


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thank you very much, MizKat. Believe me, I've lost bets with much more dire consequences, so it wasn't so bad. :)
Comment by
2009-2014 Poet Of The Year
adewpearl
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solid rhymes in good English sonnet format and excellent use of consistent iambic meter
I absolutely love the pairing of complicated/inebriated
good alliteration in consumed with care
I LOVE the imagery and sentiment in the closing couplet
Thank Jo Lynn for me for motivating you to write such a gorgeous sonnet :-) Brooke


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thanks so much, Brooke! Jo Lynn has been all over me to finally post her 'winnings', so I'll pass it along. I appreciate it, my friend.
Comment by
2018 Poet of the Year
Gloria ....
2014 - #365 Poet of the Year
2014 - #56 Author of the Year
 
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Aw, David, what a beautiful and tender love sonnet. With a specific intent and universal appeal it accomplishes the lofty goal of all exceptional poetry. So I should say, that rather than losing a bet, you've won the prize of a stunning write with just the right amount of erotic love. :)

Very sweet, dear friend.

Gloria


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thank you so much, Gloria! That means a lot to me. How funny that this more or less came about on FRYday, which I think I'll re-institute next week. I actually have one I wrote just before I left, but I'm not sure I like it as much.

reply by Gloria .... on 02-May-2014
    Don't be so hard on yourself, David. Leave that up to me. ;-) You know I'm always up for some rip-roaring, riposting and a bow or a waterfall in the river always lends some unexpected excitement. White water rafting is BEST.

reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    I've done some white water rafting in Wyoming, so I definitely know of what you speak. Class 5 rapids are terrifying, but fun!
Comment by
sibhus
 
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Too bad you had to lose a bet before you peened this sonnet. A very piece of work with great images, and I like how you have compared you love to wine. Good sonnet.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thanks very much, sibhus. It's not often I write of love, but it didn't hurt too bad. ;)
Comment by
Dawn of Tomorrow
Level 2 Pro
Always dreaming
of illusive love
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I knew it would be glorious! Not only romantic but quite erotic and tastefully poured onto the paper. Nicely done. I like this soft side of the Rogue. Methinks he should surface more frequently!!!!

Because my lips forbid I speak it thus-- (so you! and thus?, one of the forbidden words?)

But when consumed with care, it's rich and deep,
Exotically erotic -- purely pure-- (Love the sound and feeling of purely pure)

If you'll become the wine I take in sips,
Then pour yourself -- I'll raise you to my lips.

Now that phrase, my friend, gets any woman just a quivering!!!

Love it! Well done and worth the wait.



 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thank you, my friend. I was hoping you'd be along sometime soon, so you could see what I crafted for you. So glad you liked it. Yes, 'thus' came into use, but I wanted it to be more classical, so I allowed it this one time. ;)
Comment by
24chas
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
That's you, Marillion, always making the ladies wait. This was really a well written piece. Really like the alliteration you used. Have a six pack instead of the wine.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thanks so much, Chas. Glad to hear from you.
Comment by
STEPHEN A CARTER
 
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Excellent
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Love these Bits:
That I would change the you and I to us. LOVE this line
Much like a cask of wine imbibed all night--
Adept at getting one.............11 beats in·ebri·at·ed

Exotically erotic -- purely pure-- Love the tonal values
CLEVER ending indeed.
If you'll become the wine I take in sips,
Then pour yourself -- I'll raise you to my lips.

Humour and sensual teasing go hand in hand. Thus the whole piece is a well written flirtation. Loved it.

Regards:


 Comment Written 02-May-2014



reply by the author on 02-May-2014
    Thank you, my friend. It took me awhile to be satisfied with this one. Yes, the 11 syllables was intentional, as it has a feminine ending, which makes the 11 allowable. Its partner has 11, too.

    As always, I appreciate it, Stephen. Have a great weekend.

reply by STEPHEN A CARTER on 02-May-2014
    Dear M: Thanks.

    Steve
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