Save the Children!
a bio of Dr. Hilleman
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Reviews from
The Bard of Bel Air


Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "Houseguests and Desert Treks"

A homeless man sees more than people realize.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
nelliesellie
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Winston arrives at the family mansion. He is keeping an eye on all things. Lucy learns the truth about him from her partner. Junior still has his head in the clouds Harpster and the Bard will be hiding out among the homeless. Ruby and Diamond meet the family. Ruby's life is now in danger. Great work


 Comment Written 02-May-2014


Comment by
Michael Ludwinder II
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  124
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Very well written. You do a good job of bringing this storyline together. Your characters are "Real" because of excellent dialogue. My only suggestion would be to add a little more description in places.

"May I help you? We aren't hiring."

From here forward we just read dialogue. Internal thought would provide more information about what was going on in their heads.

Nicely done.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014


Comment by
Michaelk
I work to survive,
but I write to live.
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
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Excellent
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The plot thickens. The chicks are gathering around the henhouse. I just wonder what Winston is going to do with the real heir, seeing what he did to get his own father out of the way. I think Lucy is going to be protecting ruby real soon. Nice turn of events. Not sure what harpster is going to do when he gets to LA. But I'm sure it will be entertaining.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014


Comment by
ProjectBluebook
 
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Excellent
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Another interesting read. I can barely keep me eyes opened. Your running a wee bit late, Mikey. I enjoy the Bard's words of wisdom. Creative, Globe trotters, I wonder if they are still around. Dam, long lost Ruby is the new owner of Blackwell publishing. Don't that just kick Blackwell Jr. in the balls! I see---the Bard can bust a tune ... La---la---la!!
I posted my New Haven Suburbia contest poem. However, fan story will judge it. I never won one of these.

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 Comment Written 02-May-2014


Comment by
nordicgirl
 
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Excellent
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Trying to get everyone back in closer
Proximity with each other. Great poetry. Excellent chapter!!!
Excellent job moving the characters into position where they can interact with each other.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 02-May-2014


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