Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Rhyming Poem
Deadline: Today!

Loop Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

Haiku
Deadline: In 6 Days

Dribble Flash Fiction
Deadline: Apr 20th

Take A Photo Poetry
Deadline: Apr 24th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Bard of Bel Air


Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "Lucy Makes the Right Moves"

A homeless man sees more than people realize.

  12 total reviews 
Comment by
l.raven
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  169
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
HI Michael, well Lucy got in...a bit scary at first...but she worked it...women have a way of doing that...LOL...now the Chinese...that's different...lets see what comes about...a great story you...very well written...Luff Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 17-May-2014


Comment by
seaglass
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow, these guys sound like the thugs that are hanging out at the Bundy Ranch, are you sure that's not where Winston took her. lol.

This was great, and I loved the action part. Love it when a pushy, rude redneck is brought down a notch.


 Comment Written 17-May-2014


Comment by
Nosha17
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great chapter, the character of Lucy is so well drawn, she should have some fun with those guys! The story is progressing so nicely and it was as always a great write and most enjoyable read. Faye


 Comment Written 16-May-2014


Comment by
ProjectBluebook
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Moving along,some interesting developments. She was bold, telling Winston she was a cop. Ain't she a detective, now. He was no fool, knew she learned them martial arts skills somewhere? Good job, good read. I got to try and catch up. Later Lion King.


 Comment Written 16-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Thank you very much, sir. I finally posted this in the morning today. Chapter 31 is up now too when you get around to it. Posting tonight? Not sure what else to post. I have some strange poems....
Comment by
CR Delport
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Well, Lucy was quick to make friends with the mercenaries. They would do well not to underestimate her. Seems like she won Winston's trust, and is bound to get further insight into his organization. This is very well done.


 Comment Written 16-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    She had good instincts. Winston isn't completely sold on her though. So, she has to be careful. She has a sense of that. So pleased you are enjoying. mikey
Comment by
2014 Novelist and 2016 Short Works Writer Of The Year
Phyllis Stewart
Premier Writer
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I really like how Lucy handled herself in this. Exceptional writing for sure. You misspelled HEAR as HERE somewhere, but I don't recall where. Still rates a six for what it says... needs a bit of work in HOW you said it, but I'm not worried abotu that. You can learn the rules in time.


 Comment Written 15-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    I am so behind. So, I'm going backwards! So delighted with the great review. Working on HOW all the time. I'll look for "Here", I have two or three dumb things like that I do all the time. Duh. Thanks so much, mikey
Comment by
nelliesellie
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lucy is in. But she is now in a lot of danger. She will be learning jut how evil he is. This is not just federal any more. It is world wide. The real danger is jut beginning. Great work.


 Comment Written 15-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Great perspective! I have to keep that in mind as I move forward. A great point. Way behind. But, I read every word! Thank you, mikey
Comment by
Sankey
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  163
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  27
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  106
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another good chapter mate. Hoping you are gonna look at my stuff again soon the Bliss chapter with the dialogue you like now added and more info PLUS the Youtube of the music that I may change for Psalm 27. Also the latest Poem/Song regarding my erstwhile occupation in the potty room.(Look for Contemplation)
Spags...
regule(a)r LAPD

I hope that is what you want to here(hear), psycho.


 Comment Written 15-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    I did wander by and left some remarks. Glad you are liking this. It's fun not to have to worry about too many technical things like global warming and all that. Just folks doing stuff!
Comment by
ravenblack
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wasn't Lucy undercover, working as a nanny at the Blackwell estate? If I'm remembering correctly, as Winston now knows that she works for the department, wouldn't he be able to figure out that the nanny position was a ruse for her to work undercover on the Blackwell case? How would he not know that she is still investigating , now undercover in his private militia? It is well-written but I don't think Lucy would be able to infiltrate the group this easily.


 Comment Written 15-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Good points. Winston isn't as trusting of her as she might think. I'll work on trying to make it make more sense. mikey
Comment by
nordicgirl
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Yiu have managed to make so many compelling characters in this story. Lucy is awesome and believable. Very wise to have her as a reguler person that has great skill and intelligence. Would not work if she dropped one liners like the Bard. Great stuff throughout. NG


 Comment Written 15-May-2014



reply by the author on 16-May-2014
    Thank you. Lucy has stepped up and become a focal point for sure. I am pleased you noticed that I don't have her wisecracking. Not her style, mikey
  -1-  2  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Lion, in the Sun
A poem with semi-rhyme quatrains and cinquains


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy