A Shattered World~
To pick up the pieces after you loose someone.
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5-7-5 Poem
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Reviews from
Inside There is Greatness.


free verse contest: growing

  85 total reviews 
Comment by
BrooklynnPreston
BrooklynnP.
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  326 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow. I can not say I can understand exactly where you are coming from, but as a lover of poetry I can say your word choice combined with deep thought in the writing brought me nearly to tears. I'd read a thousand more.


 Comment Written 17-Sep-2018



reply by the author on 11-Oct-2018
    Thank you for your kind words and review.
Comment by
sue133
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A heart rending poem that left me sad but I found some sense of hope towards the end. If this is a true depiction of how it was, don't ever give up. Susan


 Comment Written 02-Mar-2017



reply by the author on 26-Apr-2017
    Hi thank you for your review on this older peom. I appreciate it:-) I am sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. I have been quite ill since the end of January. Today i actually have a little energy, and thought to check out the site.
    thansk again, padumachitta
Comment by
netpal
 
 
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This free verse spoke volumes to me. Clear and succinct but plenty of subtle imagery. You held the fine line between being too emotional or too distant.
Many of us are a product of those times and the sometimes unrealistic expectations of our parents.
Good on you for sharing. You show great courage.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 09-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 26-Apr-2017
    Hi thank you for your review on this older peom. I appreciate it:-) I am sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. I have been quite ill since the end of January. Today i actually have a little energy, and thought to check out the site. Odd to get a four after all this time...can you point out what would make a difference, if you have time.
    thansk again, padumachitta
Comment by
pamelaperron
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I heard you loud and clear. your sentence structure was easy to follow. particularly like invisible but not dismissible. would like to see punctuation an all or nothing. you can see the structure forming.... at times disturbing yet this is the raw connection of humanity. pamela


 Comment Written 15-May-2016



reply by the author on 02-Jun-2016
    Hi. Thank you for your review on this one...and only for 2 cents. It makes your review all that much more special.
    thanks again,
    padumachitta
Comment by
writeapoem
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a very sad poem in all your adversity to die trying there is greatness in becoming an overcomer. I feel for your mother that she could afflict so much pain in the name of hate. Keep keeping on. All the best and God Bless


 Comment Written 14-Jan-2016



reply by the author on 11-Feb-2016
    Hi thanks for another review:-) I am sorry it has been so long to respond. I have been away from my desk...well, if I am honest...I just counldn't face my computer and people...sometimes it takes time to come back...padumachitta

reply by writeapoem on 11-Feb-2016
    Welcome
Comment by
redrocklover
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Touching and moving. Moving forward from the past is always a journey of starts, stops, and detours. You capture this journey with its ups and downs quite well. Keep creating!


 Comment Written 10-Oct-2015



reply by the author on 29-Oct-2015
    Hi thank you for your review. I have been away, hence the late reply:-) padumachitta
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  97 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  71
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is emotion packed free verse. It shows how a bad childhood can be overcome. And how writing soothes and teaches us how to deal. A hundred and ten percent is always good enough in poetry.

This mother wasn't a mother, just a mourner and a weak person. It's hard to bury the unborn and memories last forever. But forgive and becomestrong in poetry.

Keep writing

dragonpoet





 Comment Written 30-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Hi...sorry it has taken me so long to get back...life and renovating a house caught up to me.
    Thank you for your wonderful review.
    padumachitta

reply by dragonpoet on 02-May-2015
    You're welcome. I understand, renovating can severely restrict other of life's pursuits.

    dragonpoet
Comment by
Janet7053
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Gorgeous, heart wrenching, and sad.

The fighter wells up inside and prepares to bury sister.
The trade off for black and blue bruised skin made me shudder.

This reads courageously and yet staggered as if too much confidence would be slapped down.

Hard to write and hard to read in the most complimentary way.



 Comment Written 26-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 01-May-2015
    Hi...sorry it has taken me so long to get back...life and renovating a house caught up to me.
    Thank you for your wonderful review.
    padumachitta
Comment by
mikemagine
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
First...I feel so bad that you had to endure all that! I can't help wondering WHAT was wrong with your mother??? Am I correct in assuming this is about you? If I'm wrong, I apologize. Still, this is a superior work!! Praise God for your talents!! Yes, pen and paper have been your weapons...Your healers too...

If I had a sixer to give you, I surely would give it to you!

Peace!

Mike


 Comment Written 01-Sep-2014



reply by the author on 03-Sep-2014
    Hi Mike. Thank you for your virtual six. Yes, it is aurobio(fiction)...the names have been changed and the siblings...but not the words, the words are true. My mother suffered her own trauma and just passed it on down...that was the way it was back then.
    And the pen and paper, they help to heal.
    padumachitta

reply by mikemagine on 03-Sep-2014
    Hi again:) Thanks for telling me about your mother...I apologize for being harsh on her. I understand much better reg. why...

    Many say we are NOT really battling each other, but abominable spirits that roam the world. Maybe so.

    I think you did a VERY neat thing in sharing your story! I'm in a 12-Step program, and I have given what is called a first step(testimony, life story)several times. It helps those who give them and those who listen...:)

    Peace!

    Mike
Comment by
Deniz22
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  47 (+2)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  470
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
My, what a vivid and honest description of your inner struggles to overcome so many barriers. When you do vault over the wall by using your pen as a pole, you have something to say to all who struggle for a better way. :) Dennis


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2014



reply by the author on 06-Aug-2014
    Hello Dennis. Thank you for the glowing six and the wonderful comments. padumachitta
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