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a poem about pride

  19 total reviews 
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  86
 
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Hi, KImBob...Well done, my friend. I have been here since 2004...and I have seen them come and go....Some people on here (more than you may think) live...absolutely live for rank in the lists...LOL Youm can spot them..easy...watch them post three items a day...Some of them mostly garbage too. I have said it before and I will say it again...The ranking system is at fault for moving people based on QUANTITY" rather than 'QUALITY" Ain't goona change either. Good job, KimBob


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 29-Jan-2015
    Thanks, Bob! You are exactly right. It is a fault of Fanstory, people moving up the rankings because of quantity instead of quality. I was trying to nudge writers in FS to write for the sheer joy of writing... quality, not quantity! The rankings don't really mean much. There are certain writers who shine. You know who they are... I don't have to list them. But you're at the top of the novelists, pal.
    I appreciate your kind review, and the gift of stars!
    Have a great day. I hope the Blizzard of 2015 missed you. They're still crying down in Boston. I can hear them all the way up here in New Brunswick! Even the governor!
    c'ya pal,
    Kimbob

reply by Mastery on 29-Jan-2015
    Nope. It missed Michigan...but we have some lite snow today. Brrrr. Cold too 20 degrees.
Comment by
Maria C.
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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Hi Kimbob!! I sure have missed reading your work. This one is no exception. Very well thought out analogy between rank and status on FS and within the apostles. Awfully good advice with posting quality not quantity and with quality in the reviewing as well.
Blessings,
Maria C.


 Comment Written 28-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 28-Jan-2015
    Hi Maria,
    Where have you been?
    Thanks so much for your kind review, and the gift of stars! I'm glad you enjoyed it.
    Hugs
    Kimbob
Comment by
NightWriter
Author,Blood Relations Trilogy
Successful writers write!
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well stated and moving poem. I think it is human to compare. But what you say speaks volumes to its harmful side-effects. We are our best when we feel calm and can focus all our energy on the task at hand whether it be playing the guitar or writing the next New York Times best seller. Outstanding poem and advice.


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Thanks so much, NW! I really appreciate your kind remarks, and all these twinkling stars! Goals are good. Nothing wrong with them at all. We'd all like to be published someday, eh? It would be great. For now, I'd be happy to win another writing competition. Baby steps! ...remember "What About Bob?" ??? with Bill Murray and Richard Dreyfuss?
    cheers
    Kimbob

reply by NightWriter on 28-Jan-2015
    I remember!
Comment by
Ben Colder
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  224 (+1)
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  Rank:  68
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  Rank:  44
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  Rank:  104
 
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I am convinced the moment was tensed beyond human understanding the moment the Lord said go do what is needed and be quick about it. Yes, there were those who wanted to be first or next in line near the Lord in the Kingdom.


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Hi Ben,
    Thanks for stopping by my desk today. I appreciate your comments and the gift of stars!
    Blessings
    Kimbob
Comment by
Patrick G Cox
 
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Hi Kimbob,

Well said, there is always a temptation to chase the rankings and I'm probably as guilty as the next. Good reminder of the disputing disciples. It's a human thing I think.

Patrick


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Hi Patrick,
    I made a wee New Year's resolution to write more than I did in 2014, but of higher quality than in the past. It involves patience instead of jumping in without a lot of thought. I don't believe in chasing the rankings either. It would drive you crazy... bad for your blood pressure.
    I appreciate your comments, and the gift of sparkles!
    cheers
    Kimbob
Comment by
Nosha17
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
During my first year on fanstory, I posted a poem every three or four days, never more frequent than that. I always strove to post only my best. I absolutely agree with you, rankings can be obsessive and with some people the quality suffers. I was lucky enough to achieve well last year, but this year I am thoroughly enjoying my relaxation time, and only posting once in a blue moon!! I have been sick all over Christmas and just had an eye operation so I have to take it easy and am highly delighted not to be competing. Well written commentary. I liked the comparison with the disciples and their often losing sight of their goal to serve and shine. Very good advice. Faye


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Thanks so much, Faye. Your poetry is always right on the money... perfect meter and nice imagery as you take us on various tours through your country. Do you know what I'd love to see someday? An ancient castle ruin! Would you write me a poem about one? I would love that.
    I appreciate your kind remarks, and the gift of stars! I was also down with a bad cold at Christmas.... coughing so much I had to retreat to my bedroom. Couldn't enjoy my turkey supper. Oh well~
    I hope your eye operation went well.
    blessings
    Kimbob
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
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  Rank:  356 (+3)
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  Rank:  48
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  Rank:  312
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Amen. I hope many read this and take your words to heart. Pride certainly has been man's downfall. In these days being first and stardom seems to be all that matters to anyone. It's no wonder many give up to live on the streets, take drugs or turn to alcohol.
You're looking might handsome in your Christmas picture. Cheers, my friend. Cheers. :) ellie

Would you mind if I added some pumps to this so that more people might read it? I have lots of them sitting here doing nothing...


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Ellie! How great to hear from you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I miss you in here, my sweet dear. Christmas/2013 was difficult with an ice storm that took our power away for a week. But leading up to the big day, I truly enjoyed every chapter of your story. I loved it! HAve you made any headway getting it published? Please don't give up. I've read a lot of novels, and I'll tell you truthfully... it is a great story, and should be published. I was hoping you'd be writing the sequel by now.
    Thank you so much for stopping by. I loved your kind review, and all these twinkling beauties! You are just too kind. If you don't need your pumps. I would really appreciate your input. But don't feel that you have to. It's awful good of you to offer. I am as poor as a church mouse!
    My picture? I'm blushing! This was taken at my youngest son's house on Christmas Day. We went in for turkey supper because they had power in Saint John North. We went back to a dark house... I stirred up the embers and got the fire going again in the woodstove. That night was extremely cold, and I stayed up tending the fire right to morning. In the picture, I'm eating my favourite Christmas treat... scallops fried in butter, and dome white wine to wash it down the hatch!
    How are you? I think of you quite often. Did you know that I quit the job at the pet store in September of 2013? The first week of December of 2013, I was hired at Lawton's, a very good drug store that has its own Healthcare department and Rehab department, as well as the pharmacy. There's also groceries, cosmetics, and giftware. The people who work there are top notch, very friendly and helpful. My boss is Angela King, and she works as hard as me. Very nice woman! I am blessed with this new job. And I'm lucky to be able to fill in for the shipper/receiver quite often.
    God bless you, Ellie. You are an excellent writer, and a true friend.
    Big Hugs,
    Kimbob

reply by barkingdog on 01-Feb-2015
    Dear Kimbob,
    It looks like I got back too late to pump your entry. Oh, well. The days go by so quickly any more. I had a birthday Friday. Big 70. Funny, I don't feel any older... or any younger for that matter. LOL
    It sounds like you are enjoying your new job. You're seeing a different flock of customers but probably miss seeing your regulars at the pet shop.
    Your Christmas scallops and white wine sound yummy. You look very satisfied in the picture.
    I've been and may still be anemic, so have little energy to write. It blurs the mind, not enough oxygen in the blood to feed it. I'm on iron tablets and eating liver, spinach, sweet potatoes, etc. , hoping to build strength. Until, then I'm at a stand still for writing or editing.
    I'm OK for reading a little, but that too is limited.
    Bye for now, my dear friend.
    :) ellie xx

reply by the author on 01-Feb-2015
    Ellie girl!
    I didn't know you were having health issues. Why is your iron down?
    Here are some things you need to know, but probably you already know them...
    Meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy products, or iron-fortified foods are the best sources of iron found in food.
    Eat leafy green vegetables, fruits, dried beans and peas for vitamin B, and especially B12.
    Eat foods high in iron:
    Cereal/breads with iron in it (100% iron-fortified is best. Check food label.)
    Liver
    Lentils and beans
    Oysters
    Tofu
    Green, leafy vegetables such as spinach
    Red meat (lean only)
    Fish
    Dried fruits such as apricots, prunes, and raisins
    Eat and drink foods that help your body absorb iron, like orange juice, strawberries, broccoli, or other fruits and vegetables with vitamin C.
    Don't drink coffee or tea with meals. These drinks make it harder for your body to absorb iron.
    Make sure you consume enough folic acid and vitamin B12.

    Has your doctor checked you out? How are your kidneys? And what about your heart? The heart has to work harder to try to supply oxygen (through blood flow) to the parts of your body.

    Now I understand why you aren't writing, and why you aren't in here much. I do hope you can get back to good health soon. I'll be praying for you. That's for sure.
    (wink)
    Kimbob

    p.s. oh, by the way, Happy Birthday!!! I didn't think you were older than me. I'm 64. We're just a couple of old coots!

reply by barkingdog on 02-Feb-2015
    Old coots is right. LOL
    I'm doing most of what you told me. Cut out tea and coffee long ago also soda which leaches calcium from the bones. The doctor put me on iron tablets after many invasive tests which all turned up negative. He was looking for internal bleeding--colon and GI tract. Nothing was found. That's good news.
    I'm feeling somewhat better,not as winded as before(the heart had to pump harder as you said). Reading more here on site and enjoying online 'hearts'--the card game. My computer came with various game. I find that I can play them longer now and I'm awake more.
    I've been eating tangerines with liver and onions with spinach and sweet potatoes. Then there is a very green, spinach mostly, salad with tuna sandwich and tomato soup.
    I'm making myself hungry just writing about it.
    Why am I anemic? Don't know. I'm guessing that my diet wasn't right. I had gotten lazy, being alone, and ate bologne, pizza, etc. I threw the 'bad' choices out, corrected my intake and added a yummy gummy vitamin which I can't wait to take.(I could eat the whole bottle. They are so good. LOL)
    If you have any more suggestions, I'm all ears or, in this case, eyes.
    Thank you for the suggestions. I've cut and pasted it to a note on my computer.
    Hugs,
    ellie

reply by the author on 02-Feb-2015
    Great to hear from you, Ellie. I hope you get back to good health very soon.
    Liver & onions are one of my favourite dishes!
    I know that some foods are healthier than others. Oatmeal is supposed to be real good for your heart. But you should only eat 3 eggs per week.
    Coffee & tea ...OUT! Milk & water...IN!
    Nuts, raisins, bran flakes, fruit.
    Sweets...OUT! Salads... IN!
    Always remember, Green is good! Especially broccoli & spinach.
    Instead of red meat, choose chicken & fish. Sockeye Salmon is especially good, even right from the can, bones and all.
    The only other thing I can tell you is get a little exercise, and 8 hours of sleep each night.
    I always take a couple of vitamins too... Vitamin C never hurts, and D, Vitamin B complex, and Omega 3-6-9. You can't go wrong with those.
    Keep me posted as to how you are feeling. Okay?
    xoxo
    your pal,
    Kimbob
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
Premier Author
Some people dre...
 
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  Rank:  16
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  Rank:  87
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Ya know, Kimbob, once a member from the classic rock band "The Beatles" claimed that the Beatles were bigger than Jesus. It's true!

On March 4, 1966, an article appeared in the London Evening Standard that would cause an uproar and ripple for some time. Journalist Maureen Cleave was doing a series entitled 'How Does a Beatle Live?' and her encounter with John Lennon provided controversy that spread far beyond the London paper.

"Christianity will go," Lennon said. "It will vanish and shrink. I needn't argue about that. I'm right and I'll be proved right. We're more popular than Jesus now. I don't know which will go first, rock 'n' roll or Christianity. Jesus was all right but his disciples were thick and ordinary. It's them twisting it that ruins it for me."

Well, John. We all see how well uttering that statement went over for you. Pretty much the same as a lead balloon, I suspect.

I don't worry about the rankings here. If my work resonates well enough with readers that it allows me to rise in the rankings, so be it. If not, that's fine too. I clearly don't post everyday, although I do write every single day, without fail.

The goal of this site (as I understand it) is to receive feedback on what we have written that allows us to become better at a craft we so dearly love, or at least, I hope we do.

Stephen King said it quite eloquently in his book, "On Writing: A Memoir of the Craft"...

"Writing isn't about making money, getting rich, getting famous, getting dates, getting laid, or making friends. In the end, it's about enriching the lives of those who will read your work, and enriching your own life, as well. It's about getting up, getting well, and getting over. Getting happy, okay? Getting happy. Writing is magic, as much the water of life as any other creative art. The water is free, so drink. Drink -- and be filled up."

Nice work, Kimbob. ~Dean


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Well said, Dean! Bravo! Thank you so much for such a terrific response. Poor John Lennon. They killed Jesus; they killed him too. There are writers in Fanstory who are beacons for those of us still hoping to become better at this craft. You are one of those writers, IMHO. You know who the rest are.
    I really appreciate your kind remarks, and the gift of stars!
    cheers
    Kimbob

reply by Dean Kuch on 26-Jan-2015
    You are very welcome, Kimbob, it's always a pleasure. Thanks for those sentiments, that really means a lot to me. :)
Comment by
giraffmang
Level 2 Pro
2018 2nd for short works
2017 Author of the year
 
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  Rank:  137
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  8
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  Rank:  115
 

#8 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi,

I really liked your piece here. I am relatively new and believed at the start that the rankings actually meant something but with so many 'fluff' reviews, 'smash and grab reviews' it is ridiculous. Coupled with the output of many writers to achieve those rankings you can see a deterioration in quality of a lot of top ranked writers.

We also need to be careful when giving reviews. I stick close to the site guidelines and I am not afraid to give out fours if a piece needs work (in my humble opinion) and have no issues receiving them myself when warranted.

I recently had a reviewer tell me that not all reviewers are created equally and that as they edit other writer's work, their review was more realistic. Quite an ego at play. When I asked for clarification from another reviewer over vague comments I was told they couldn't be more specific because they would need to re-write my entire piece and then told me that if I was so sure of my work why I should have it front of editors who would set me straight. (It was satisfying when they received 1 vote in a competition that I won with the criticised piece though, even though I shouldn't have been so pleased!).

I write for the enjoyment, and use the prompts to be inspired. The community here is great but people need to remember that this is what it is. This is not out in the 'real' world and we should be that shoulder to bolster each other up not the stray foot that trips.

I really liked the way you tied this all together with the analogy of the disciples. A well written and thought provoking piece that hopefully many will read.


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Dear giraffmang,
    I am grateful for your wonderful response. I truly enjoyed reading it. Well said!
    I appreciate your kind remarks, and the generous gift of stars!
    blessings
    Kimbob
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
Premier Author
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  Rank:  34
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  Rank:  7
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  Rank:  51
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  48
 

#7 Ranked Author

#3 Ranked Script Writer
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Just what I needed to see today--"Don't be slaves to the rankings." Especially as overnight I dropped from #8 to #10 overnight in the short works category. You make an interesting comparison to the rivalry that the disciples had amongst themselves over their standing. I hate to see rankings mean to much to the high school athletes, especially. They compete not only for their team to win but for the notoriety their success gives them. As you wrote, there's always a Judas jangling his coins of temptation. Great thoughts and advice in this. We should focus on doing our best work, not on impressing others. judi


 Comment Written 26-Jan-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jan-2015
    Thank you so much, Judi! You took from this piece exactly what I hoped for. I appreciate your excellent review, and the gift of sparkles!
    Hugs
    Kimbob

reply by judiverse on 27-Jan-2015
    You're welcome, and your comments were so sensible. judi
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