Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

6 Word Poetry
Deadline: Today!

Cinquain Poetry
Deadline: In 2 Days

3 Line Poetry Contest
Deadline: In 3 Days

Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 5 Days

80 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 6 Days


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
The Skullcap and The Collar--pt 5


An Officer Tim Healy story.

  21 total reviews 
Comment by
Sis Cat
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Good dialogue and police procedural pulled me into story. Good use of police jargon. I can see your characters by the way they talk. Story has speed and left me wondering what will happen next. Thank you for sharing.


 Comment Written 07-Mar-2015


Comment by
Patrick G Cox
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi humpwhistle.

Letting the mark get blown up, down or whatever is not a good career move, but was the bomb for the Monsigeur, or for the policeman? Good chapter, the Sergeant and the Captain seem to be convinced they know who is the killer.

Hope your weather is improving.

Patrick


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2015


Comment by
LIJ Red
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
You don't tackle books because? It may be that you've caught the Fanstory reader's syndrome-the jigsaw puzzle must be of small identical square pieces. Fine writing, believable story line.


 Comment Written 06-Mar-2015


Comment by
Wabigoon
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  145
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  56 (+2)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  158
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
humpwhislte--
well I wish the Monsignor had not been killed so rapidly after I began reading this -- he was a fun character. Strahan, less so.

This seems very well done. I noticed one description that just seemed plain unclear, to me at least: "smiled like a weasel presenting rictus."

I even know what a "rictus" is but an weasel presenting one escapes me.

Anyway, nice job. Well polished, accomplished.

Wabigoon


 Comment Written 05-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
    Thank you, Wabigoon. I liked the monsignor, too. But give Strahan a little time--he may grow on you. I probably stretched too far with weasel presenting rictus. I'm glad you enjoyed, though. Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment by
vickib
I dreamed a thousand new paths
I woke and walked my old one
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  656
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Alright Mr. Humpwhistle I was restless and ventured into FS land at midnight. I read all five parts as if they were one. Seamlessly I might add. Great job with that even without your hypnosis, I mean synopsis. And you do a fantastic job at those too btw. I like when you get annoyed that you have to explain it and just tell us to read the previous parts.

If I could watch these guys and woman on TV with that wit, and action and wisdom subtlety mixed in, I'd probably watch TV. But nothing comes close to the quality I read here. Though I do like Frasier. I'd say you do your research, I won't look stuff up because you are so believable and I trust you. It's just fantastic writing. No hiccups, no burps, just a fart or two. You build characters seemingly without effort. It's like a treat for us. Yet no detailed description of them physically we get to create their faces in our own mind. You build the story line the same way. Needless to say, I enjoyed the hell out of these five parts. And WOW five, that's a lot for you. Pardon my one six for all of them but its midnight thirty and I'm not the best reviewer in the world so I cheat sometimes.
You are a grand storyteller, you make me want to read. It might be your calling. Yeah baby you are good at it!
XO
Vicki
Now see about being restless I'm thinking about it more. You create your characters with their actions and their attitudes to name a few, we get to use our imagination to see them in our mind. You know how to drive a story like a fine chauffeur, no sudden stops, no racing from one place to the next, no veering off the road. And we get to sit back and enjoy the ride. I'll bet you are a great driver aren't you? Me, I've had 32 tickets.


 Comment Written 05-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
    Thank you again, Vicki. I'm so glad you read all five parts--thank you! And you say they held together? It's hard to write in installments and keep the story flowing evenly. You're right, I hate writing synopses.
    And I do 'think' TV or Film when I write. And I try to use familiar settings--bars, restaurants, cars--so I don't have to waste time describing. Nobody seems to miss the descriptions.

    Anyway, thanks for reading them all. One six is plenty.

    Peace, Lee
Comment by
bob cullen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  232
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  265
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Another great write.

Gee fancy thinking that both the Church and the cops are on the shady side of the law. And poor Officer Healy has to deal with both.

Your characterisation is so good. The dialogue is credible. I can't wait to read the next instalment


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
    Thanks so much, Bob. I'm delighted you are still enjoying. Peace, Lee
Comment by
IndianaIrish
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  481
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
It was worth the wait, hw. Love all the holy jokes and I'm sure each slam will earn a few years in Purgatory as punishment. LOL ... I cracked up at this one especially. As has the Mayor, the Governor, the Archbishop and probably Joey Bishop! I like Young Healy more and more with each post. Can't wait to read the about the meeting with Juliet.
Smiles,
Indy :-)

lassie's (lassies) like pretty men


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
    Thank you, Indy. What's a few extra years of purgatory when I'm hell bent on Hell anyway? Ah, Joey Bishop--how soon we forget!
    Thanks for the galaxy, and for staying with the story. Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment by
irishauthorme
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  352
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This really deserved a six! Very good interplay between the characters, glib comments by dialogue (Blew the Monsignor to Kingdom Come? Alright, who didn't get that?), fast action and unexpected twists.
Good first person narration that drew me right into the story. Liked the link-up of the "double Timmys," with young Tim being fostered into Blue on the strength of his uncle, and his mentor being Bill Strahan, an old 'shotgun rider' of the late Tim.
Great chapter.
irish


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
    Thank you, irish. I especially like your reviews of this piece. You have an inside track on the dynamics of cop-dom.
    You're hip to Two-Tim Timmy's shadow. So glad you're enjoying. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Tatarka2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This story continues to be so intriguing and so well-told. The dialogue rings true throughout, and is such an effective way to tell this story. The reader cares about the characters, especially the protagonist, and the humor is well-placed. I really think this could be a commercial success.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 05-Mar-2015
    Thank you again, Tatarka. I like your idea about 'commercial success'. Let's hope I can keep up the suspense, and the quality
    of the dialogue. Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  740
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Ker-blooey. I haven't heard that in a long time. You told me long ago that you couldn't write a book. It looks like you've started one. Your plot keeps building. It's definitely holding my interest.


 Comment Written 04-Mar-2015



reply by the author on 06-Mar-2015
    Thank you, Ellen. Yeah, ker-blooey comes from the archives! I still don't think I can write a book, but I like this story, and it keeps generating momentum--if not readership.
    I appreciate your continued interest. Peace, Lee
  -1-  2 3  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Football Chapter 1 part 1
A mother faces life's struggles.


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy