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Reviews from
Ghosts of Humanity


A disqualified, different kind of ghost story...

  40 total reviews 
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
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Excellent
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this is an interesting write, dean, I enjoyed reading this story with the creepy ending where the man uses his information on the comet to create a story about the coming apocalypse. I enjoyed reading it.


 Comment Written 13-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
    Thank you for your comments, Pam, as well as taking the necessary time to read it. ~Dean
Comment by
petalangela
 
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Excellent
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A new concept of Armageddon the time after. Is this start of a new book or perhaps the
Speed of the idea either way I think it is a good idea for a book given your talent it should be great


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
    Thank you for your comments, Petal, as well as taking the necessary time to read it.
    No, it's a stand alone story which was written for a contest, but later disqualified~Dean
Comment by
Sis Cat
 
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I am sorry they disqualified this different kind of ghost story within a story within a story. It is tightly written and structured. The action and subject riveted my attention. This is one story that was so creative that it was out of this planet (or comet). This is an effective piece of sci fi ghost story writing that is unconventional but feels real. Thank you for sharing.


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
    Thank you for your comments, Cat, as well as taking the necessary time to read it. ~Dean
Comment by
inside echo
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Definitely an interesting read Dean. In this story, you take the reader from present day (where you are writing a story, and your wife is hurrying your out to an award ceremony), to after the comet hits while you are both under ground to going up to what is left of the planet, where your wife takes her life? Are you both alive or ghosts at this point? I really liked this Dean. I wish it was a lot longer so I could have sorted it all out. I am giving it a 6 (been saving one) for something that makes me wonder, and well this did. Well written. Thank you for sharing. Is this going to be a series, or a stand alone story?
tgc
echo


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
    Boy, I wish all readers picked up on the smaller details like you do, Echo. Believe it or not, this story sailed willy-nilly right over a few reviewer's heads. I appreciate both the six stars and your kind comments.
    As far as continuing the story, I wrote it for a contest and hadn't really considered continuing the story any further. With all the work --cover art, editing, and my own writing--I've been doing on the Tiny Tales of Terror series lately, I doubt I'll have much time for anything else.
    We'll see. Ya just never know.
    Thanks so much again! ~Dean :)

reply by inside echo on 13-Jun-2015
    You are most welcome Dean. Can you just answer one question please, your wife cut her arm, were you alive or a ghost? Or did she become a ghost, and you remained alive?....
    Are your Tiny Tales of Terror" series scary like the couple of poems were? I want to read your work, but some of it scares the shit out of me... I know that is a good thing for a horror writer, but is bone chilling for this reader... lol, I'm a wuss.

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
    No, Lionel was alive the entire time, but he wanted to die after Alyse, his wife, took her own life. His wife was the ghost.

    As far as the Tiny Tales of Terror Stories go, some of them aren't too bad. The Pumpkin Batch, The Presidential Plan, by Spitfire, Puzzled, by Michaelk, The Unfortunate Mr. Watson, by Yours Truly, The Deep Sleep, by Ridley Williams, and Sleeping Shadows, by Pearl Edwards. None of those are gory or excessively bloody. Give 'em a shot. We'd all sure appreciate it. And if you ever feel challenged to, write a Tiny Tale of Terror yourself. You just never know what you might come up with. :}

    ~Dean

reply by inside echo on 13-Jun-2015
    I will gladly read the stories you suggested. Lol as far writing one, I have not talent nor ability to write horror. Thank you for the kind offer though. Also thank you for explaining that it was just his wife that turned into a ghost.
    Hey, wasn't this story in a contest, I am sure I voted for this one, but when I just went back to look it isn't there at all, and it was winning at the time?

reply by the author on 13-Jun-2015
    It was disqualified, Echo. All the details are on my profile page if you care to read them.
    I appreciate your support, however.
    Thank you!
Comment by
Donya Quijote
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I love a good ghost, and frankly most fall flat or resort to over the top grossness. I like this one because of its originality. Being that this is also science fiction, a genre that I feel makes better movies than stories, I can't but wonder if that characters themselves are not in fact ghost, all of them, just going on about their business or reliving their last few moments before the end. The setting is after all post-apocalyptic. I don't know much about this committee, as I imagine that I and my work as invisible to them as I am and it is to the rest of Fanstory. Anyway, as my interpretation or commentary are of little value, I can in all honesty say that I thoroughly enjoyed this tale. It has been a long time since a ghost story tickled my fancy, and this one most certainly did.


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    You're not invisible to me, Donya Quijote. Most likely you and I are not mutual fans, so I miss a great deal of your writing. However, what I have read from you has been exceptional work.
    Much to the delight of the esteemed Committee, I'm going to abstain from entering contest for awhile. I simply don't have the "funny money" to waste, and I'm sure you probably don't either. I enjoy the contests because they force us to write, to create, and sometimes even think outside the box a little. But I can't have my entries being disqualified for less than sensible reasons.
    I appreciate the six stars, your time spent reviewing, and your wonderfully supportive comments. All are taken well to heart, and sincerely appreciated.
    ~Dean
Comment by
LIJ Red
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Hey, that the kind of cr--ju--sh--superior sophisticated literature I sometimes dream of producing. Interesting notes, chilling story, and excellent post, in my
arr--humble opinion.


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    Your humble opinion is always good enough for me, Red. And I appreciate you taking the time to read this disqualified ghost story entry and offer your opinions concerning it.
    Much obliged, my friend. ~Dean

reply by LIJ Red on 12-Jun-2015
    Ghost story, maybe not. Crackerjack scifi.

reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    Thanks. :)
Comment by
Spiritual Echo
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
For sure, I can see the reason and logic involved in disqualifying this story from competition. Below are my suggestions for future compliance in CEC monitored contests.

Ghosts are generally apparitions that hover in mid air with the visual appearance of a wind-swept sheet on laundry day.

There should be rapping, cupboards banging and possibly flashing light to announce the ghost's appearance. Using 'Boo' in the dialogue would better define the spirit in your story.

As there are members who would argue the function, the after-life location of the soul, you would be best to avoid any controversial spirituality so as not to confuse apparitions with the word of God. If you can work in both aspects, sci-fi with religious doctrine, it would increase your readership.

I hope this helps clarify what changes you should make to your posts to comply with FS expectations in this genre.

Hope this helps...and keep on writing!

Dean, if you don't understand the sarcasm and BS in my review, I'm going to slit my wrists. ingrid


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    Ha-ha, no...NO!---Ingrid. Don't do that, I got it, I promise, lol.
    You know, it boggles the mind that one has to include all that you've mentioned for "some" to consider this a ghost story. Did they want Wuthering Heights? If so, the contest should have stipulated, "Traditionally Gothic Stylized Ghost Stories Only". Okay, so I did try and think outside of the proverbial "box" they like to place everyone in here so often. But, it's still a ghost story regardless, and based upon your review and most generous six star rating (which I wholeheartedly appreciate, by the way), I'd say you agree. :)
    ~Dean
Comment by
Kingsland
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I see you were disqualified from the contest. So then, being creative is a no no on this site. Because I found that you have ventured into a very creative way to write about ghosts here. I don't see anything at all wrong with the way you wrote this piece. It is very creative in its thoughts on writing about ghosts. So then, as I see it, this site wants everyone to remain in their own boring box. Don't be creative or they'll punish you. That's what I think about what they did when they disqualified your piece... John


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    Thank you very much, John. Of course, you read the story, so you're fully aware that Alyse's ghost comes to visit Lionel each evening. I quote the following passage from the story:

    "I'm never quite certain how long I can endure this solitude, not until I hear Alyse's lilting, song-like voice beckoning to me.

    Old ghosts of the past.

    Ghosts of humanity.


    As I told Tom, sometimes you simply have to be smart enough to rea between the lines a little. I so happy to know that you are, my friend.
    Thanks for the feedback, and your supportive comments. I very much appreciate them. ~Dean
Comment by
write hand blue
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  Rank:  444
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Dean, this is great, a Supernatural science fiction story.

A pre and post apocalyptic account of a loving married couple and how they survived. The wife committing suicide and the husband surviving until the air generator ran out of fuel. The supernatural element being the wife's corpse and his desire to join her.

I enjoy well written Supernatural Sci-Fi and this is well written.

A novel approach to the comet menace. With enough detail to sound plausible, interesting and gripping. The hook drew me back to read it three times. So you could say I liked it.

I would like to see more of this genre on this site.

Well done Dean, this is great stuff.

Just a little correction needed. Line four from end of story:- becokoning to me...[beckoning]

:) Mel.






 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    Thanks for your six stars and wonderful feedback, Mel Thank you also for catching the error for me, I appreciate that as well.
    Unfortunately, The Committee saw fit to disqualify my story, saying it wasn't a "Ghost story". How is it not a ghost story if Alyse is dead, yet still beckons her husband? I told them in no uncertain terms that I disagreed, and you can read the whole sordid account on my profile page if you wish. Make sure you respond too. I'd love to get your take on the subject. ~Dean
Comment by
barkingdog
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2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
So, Dean, what happened to disqualify you? I knew this was your's when I voted. Your style is undeniable.
You really put a lot of thought into this piece. The notes were great, too.


 Comment Written 12-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 12-Jun-2015
    Just go to my profile page, Ellen. It's all there in bold black and white. I think it's bullsh!t myself, but you can let me know what you think, if you've a mind to.
    Thanks for always supporting me and being in my corner. I've always appreciated our mutual friendship.

    Thanks again! ~Dean
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