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Reviews from
Can't Want To Daddy


a long journey in a short tale

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
jdrhye
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  480
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Riveting! It's almost as though anything I say will not be enough to express how this story made me feel. Sad, frightened, disgusted, angry....all the emotions that you must have endured yourself as a child an adult. You have done a great job illiciting the images and emotions that come with abuse. I'm sure it was a difficult story to tell and hope it has given you some release.
Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.
J


 Comment Written 28-Nov-2018


Comment by
Rhonni
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
From much pain and burden, comes much healing and relief. This is put so beautifully and honestly, well done! Events such as this shape our lives in ways we often don't recognize and by writing about them, we are able to free ourselves to some degree. Though the scars fade, they can not be undone, but we learn to proceed without allowing them to control us. I admire your story and thank you for sharing.


 Comment Written 05-Nov-2016



reply by the author on 14-Nov-2016
    Thank you Rhonni, I'm currently recovering (trying) from hand surgery.

    I'm sorry it's taking so long to reply. I will be back writing next year. Feel free to roam through my portfolio and enjoy, in he meantime. No need to review.
    Hugs!
    Cat
Comment by
JTStone
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Premier Reader
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
My God Cat...I'm so sorry for you.
That is the worst thing that a human can endure. I never had to live through the feeling of helplessness. I can only listen to the pain in your words, I can only read the fear in your voice when you felt the snakes...
I am more impressed with you as a human being. I thought you were a goddess before.
My girlfriend went through that as well. Her mom burned her dads clothes and they left when she was about twelve...I listen to her speak in vague terms about something that she really doesn't want to talk about. Thank you for putting it into words.
That was a powerful story Cat.
JT


 Comment Written 26-Sep-2015



reply by the author on 26-Sep-2015
    Hey JT, don't feel sorry for me.
    He's dead. Died in May.
    Yep, stone cold dead.
    Dead as a doornail dead.

    Yep.
    and I didn't even have to kill him.

    How's that for a blessing AND a curse? ;)
    lol

    ((((((((your GF)))))) (her mom should have burned him as well... but then, i guess not, she needed her mother)
    No, she doesn't want to talk about it... she just doesn't want it inside her.

    Tell her I said that the best thing she will ever do in her life (if she hasn't done it already... and I only know this from 25 years of therapy) is to forgive that little girl for not fighting back. The day I had to come face to face (in a role reversal therapy) with my anger at that five year old girl(that was myself) and yell and scream at her, and tell her exactly how weak I thought she was... was the day I let go of the GUILT I was carrying around.

    Guilt: It's an elective course.
    No one GIVES it to you. You take it on yourself.

    Don't.

    Shove the shame up someone else's chimney.

    Walk away.

    That was an epiphany for me.

    If she hurts... tell her to try it. YOU become that little girl that she was... let her be herself now... and let her scream and yell and let it all out... or better yet, find a friend of hers who will actually cry when she does it... (if you will, it's all good, but a small female who will, is pretty effective and quite daunting if you're a mother). I couldn't do it. There is nothing inside me that will let me blame a child for LETTING her father molest her. NOTHING.

    it just all sort of eased out of me.
    That's when I started recovering from Anorexia. I spent two months in a hospital... that was my turning point.

    Ah, but I run my mouth too much. It's all in my portfolio. . LOLL

    thanks for the lovely rating, JT
    Thanks again... I"m talking your head off. LOL
    ;)
    Hugs to you and your GF (i know she has a name! or at least an initial) lol
    mwah!
Comment by
artemis53
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
We all have our stories and if someone doesn't I'll show you a liar. You are much braver than myself or maybe we all are the same but adapt differently. It doesn't matter only the recognition that everyone has their own story.


 Comment Written 06-Aug-2015



reply by the author on 06-Aug-2015
    *smiles*
    You are braver than you know... and let's just both know that we can kick ass and take names, ok? lol
    Thanks hon... you know that I always smile at your words... thanks so much... it means a lot coming from you. :)
    Cat
Comment by
padumachitta
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  185
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  66
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Review Stars
  Rank:  393
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hey.
This is chilling and well written.
Damn child abuse. The pain and shame lingers way to long and the well...the healing is slow and writing about helps. Stioll, you are a brave woman to write it so and to give us notes...to say it is your stroy.

what can I say?...but i can feel the fear...
pc


 Comment Written 30-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 30-Jul-2015
    Pad,
    You're a dear,
    Thanks so much... (((((hugs))))) It's something I wrote in the midst of a really hard time, and it's truly an amazing thing that it's been given this award, it makes it... well, it just touches my heart that it's been given a seven star rating by Fan Story. i'm so honored... and thank you dear for this lovely review and rating, it means the world to me.
    Hugs
    Cat
Comment by
Contests
 
 

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.


 Comment Written 28-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 29-Jul-2015
    Wow! Thanks so much for this. I'm honored beyond any words I can find! Thanks so much! I don't think I"ve ever even SEEN one of these! Thank you! Thank you! I'm humbled and grateful! It means the world to me.
    Cat
Comment by
Mr. Dark
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I'm ashamed to call myself a horror writer. This is real horror... the kind you have trouble reading precisely because it is real...

It's funny. Right before I read this, I read another one of the story of the month entries - The Change, by Sis Cat--and while the theme was similar, the tone couldn't be more opposite. The Change was poignant and beautiful, and it almost--ALMOST--restored my faith in humanity. Then I came to you, and found the dark side, and the frustrating duality of humanity struck me like a two by four to the face; the complexity of what it is to be a human being, the myriad kinds of baggage we all bear. On the one side, it brings us all together; brothers and sisters struggling to stay afloat in the same sea. On the other side, it drives a wedge between us all because every journey is a solo one, and no one will ever live your life or see what you see except you.

The story itself... I loath to say anything condescendingly positive about it, but your words, your prose, was riveting and beautifully conceived for what it was about. Stories like this are difficult to review because they are so personal. To comment on the structure and grammar seems the epitome of cold, while to praise the story seems... I don't know. Patronizing? One certainly doesn't want to say they 'liked' it. I hope you can read between the lines of what I'm trying to say, Cat. This was a true horror story; a real horror story, filled with demons and ghosts, and your imagery is far more haunting than anything mere cleverness could come up with. I didn't like this because it put me there, and not just as an observer. I dare say that I feel highly disturbed at the moment, but I really can't think of a better way to compliment you. Your words did that to me. Something you wrote affected a complete stranger. If that doesn't make you a brilliant writer, then nothing does.

Your blood shines on the page. You took something horrible, imprisoned it on the page, and reminded me that while our parents lied to us--monsters DO exist--it also showed me that no monster is undefeatable.

Frickin brilliant work, demon slayer
:)
--Sara





 Comment Written 27-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Sara,
    well... I've sat here for what seems like hours, yet I know cannot be. lol After reading this review, I have been speechless. My husband walked into the room and saw (what appeared to be) tears running from my eyes, and asked, "what's wrong", to which I replied, (the usual) 'nothing'. lol

    He took the computer, looked for his glasses, and read your words... speechless, he just reached out and hugged me close.
    We sat in stillness for a moment. I've been aching with a migraine for the last 48 hours, often just writing through it. Figuring if I'm going to die of some sort of brain tumor, i'd might as well create something instead of whining about the pain, right? lol

    And then this.

    This sort of thing makes it all worth it. Truly. When someone bleeds THEIR heart back at you. Then you know that they really, truly hear you.

    They hear that child in the darkness, they hear the grown woman you are, and they shake in the darkness alongside you.

    You hear me.

    I cannot tell you, after all these years, how much that means to me. Even if this piece never wins anything, it just did.
    And I thank you. i truly do.
    Because you have just validated my card.

    And who knew that Mr. Dark was a girl? (I won't tell.) ;)

    Thank you. Seriously, thank you.
    I'm about to become a fan of horror. *shrugs*. why not? I've already lived it. It can't get much scarier than that, right?
    ;)

    Thanks Sara, really. Thanks.
    Cat

reply by Mr. Dark on 27-Jul-2015
    You've more than earned your scars, Cat. Be proud of them. Let them serve as your badges, and reminders that no matter how many bullets flew at you on the battlefield, you walked away still standing; bruised, battered and bleeding, but still frickin standing. Courage is not about vanquishing fear and evil, it's about being fucking strong enough to survive it. You are, and you did. I get that. Trust me, I get it. Everyone's battle is their own, and every wound bleeds differently, but scars are universal.

    Be proud of what you wrote. Not because it was damn good writing (it most certainly was), not because you're kicking ass in the contest (you go, girl!), but because of what it took for you to actually sit there and write it.

    Solidarity, girlfriend. :)
    --Sara

    p.s.--please excuse the profanity. It's my armor, and I earned it as well. Hope I didn't offend :)
    --S
Comment by
TPAC
Premier Author
 
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  Rank:  159
 
Excellent
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I guess these aspects touch us all in some way, my mother when she spoke of my father said such behind his drinking, I never meet my fleshly dad. I feel the torment and fear of this encounter, the victim feeling hopeless -a great statement to be known


 Comment Written 27-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 27-Jul-2015
    Thanks TPAC, it's a fear, that's for sure.
    I appreciate your comments and for reading
    Cat
Comment by
flylikeaneagle
Premier Author
flylikeaneagle - Nancy Ann Gee
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  242
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  180
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  70
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  190
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Cat: excellent story of awareness of abuse. No one stood up for you or your sister. My friend, let go and let God help you. It's good to let others know and you can enjoy life again. Pain hurts and goes deep. I have a girl friend whose mom abused her with steamy hot baths, verbal abuse and physical. She leaned on Jesus. God bless. I pray that this story touches lives. flylikeaneagle


 Comment Written 22-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
    Nancy,
    Thank you for your kindness always. I so appreciate your friendship.
    Cat
Comment by
Sis Cat
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Riveting opening dialogue pulled me further into horrific story, "Oh God," I prayed in the stillness, "please, don't let him be coming for me, this time."

Effective use of the lowercase "i" to reflect an abused girl who "don't have any control."

Haunting, cringing use of snake metaphors to represent sexual abuse/penises.

Gripping description of being tainted, soiled, "I was never pretty enough. Never clean enough. Not inside, where it counts."

Good, contrasting description of this abuser playing a harmonica. This creates complex character.

Stunning end, "I can't want to, Daddy." This shows that your father was clueless about why you would not call him.

I am glad you confronted him about his abuse before he died and that your snakes nightmares stopped. Thank you for sharing this riveting work. I wish you success in the Story of the Month contest.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 21-Jul-2015
    Thank you Sis Cat... I'm so glad you've read this... I"m not finished reading them all, myself... I am looking forward to reading your entry was well... and good luck to you and congratulations on your nomination! For me, it's truly an honor being nominated (on the author's side!) It's all I can do not to put ellipses in everything!) lol
    Thanks so much!
    CAt

reply by Sis Cat on 22-Jul-2015
    Yes, Cat, it is an honor for me, too, to be nominated--my first. I have read all of the entries and am honored to be included among so many great writers. It is going to be a tight race. Win or lose, I am preparing to submit my story for publication in a literary journal. I wish you good luck. You are in for a surprise when you vote and see the tallies.

reply by the author on 22-Jul-2015
    Oh it's far too far away to do that now! LOL But thanks hon... and good luck! I can't wait to read them all... but right now I have to hide in a dark room with this migraine... .arggg... thanks dear! ;)
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