All Those Lines
And every darn one of them is artificial...
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Reviews from
Arisen an' Fallin' --Conclusion


A quirky 3-part Western

  17 total reviews 
Comment by
Sis Cat
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This is a fun, engaging Western. The characters are slimy, despicable, and visceral, but I love watching and hearing them. This story was like watching a real good Western crossed with swindle movie. The con is on.

Fun dialect and dialogue, including the gibberish Latin.

This is exceptional writing. Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.


 Comment Written 21-Jul-2015



reply by the author on 26-Jul-2015
    Thank you much, Sis Cat. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Patti R.
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Ah, jeez, Lee!
If I haven't mentioned it before, you are my favorite writer on this site.
I started with Part 1 and read right through to the end. Fantastic!

What a story. This is going into your book, right?

There is just too much good loot in this one to pick it apart and copy it down. That's supposed to be a compliment. Your characters are rich in color and well, um, character. The surprise twist at the end was indeed a surprise. I didn't know you speak Swedish, or Latin for that matter!

I think your spell checker deserves a vacation after this one.

My cheeks hurt.
No, not those ones.
The ones on my face - I grinned (and laughed) from start to finish.

Pass the jug.


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
    And thank you, Patti. I'm thrilled that you read the whole thing through. I really wish I could post that way, but I'd get no reviews. As it is, I'm enough of a hermit.

    Ya, I speak Svedish wid no accent a'tall. An' my Latin is textbook.

    My spell checker gave up a long time ago. It sits somewhere in the corner of my computer and drools. Sad.

    Thanks again, Patti. You're my sixteenth review.
    Forgive them, Lord, for they know not what they're too frickin' lazy to read. Amen.

    Peace, Lee
Comment by
Ric Myworld
 
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Whores and money, it's hard to enjoy one without the other, but unfortunately, if you keep the whores, the money doesn't last very long. So, "Take the money and run." Great job. :-)


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 25-Jun-2015
    Thanks again, Ric. I know you've given up drinking. Whores, too? You need to give me lessons. Peace, Lee
Comment by
N.K. Wagner
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A perfect conclusion to an outstanding story. I love the swindle within a swindle conclusion. I never guessed you'go there. I should have known better. Hope to read more about these characters. They're a fun group. :) Nancy


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
    Thanks again, Nancy. I'm glad you liked the conclusion--and didn't see it coming. I'm already thinking about what might happen when Honey finally catches up to Sly. Could be an interesting reunion. So glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Walu Feral
 
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Hahahahaha! Great work Lee. That is such a brilliant and funnily entertaining yarn mate. Please say it's not over, it's my favorite. I wish I had a six left, this was simply the best. Top quality work my friend....

"You cain't invite swindlees to a mine-strike 'thout you got somethin' wet to sell 'em." Hahahahaha!

Cheers Fez


 Comment Written 24-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
    Thanks again, Fez. Alas this story is over. But I frequently bring characters back for further adventures. I think I might want to write about what happens when Honey finally catches up to Sly. Thank you again. Peace, Lee

reply by Walu Feral on 24-Jun-2015
    That would be so cool. That really was impressive stuff.
Comment by
His Grayness
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Well Lee, this here is nothing short of a cunning and brilliant ending to such a highly sophisticated story, fulla all kinds of special language and color that only a genius could deliver. The lackin' of my sixth star is rightly shameful and I'm truly disintegrated at having to hand over five rusty stars but at least ya know my meaning is pure gold! I absolutely loved this story from beginning to end and hope you keep this genre' comin' at us continuous like! Vance


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
    Thank you, Vance. It's great to meet someone who enjoys my brand of humor, and has the patience to pick through dialect and colorful turns of phrase. I really appreciate that.
    I try to work in several genres, but I often return to the 'quirky Western'--I feel at home here.
    Thank you again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
IndianaIrish
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Fantastic conclusion to your wonderful story, hw, and the ending twist is absolutely a delight. Great fun with the characters, their antics, and loved Sly's dabbling with Latinisms. An entertaining and fun story. I'm glad Honey wasn't included in the swindle's swindle...she was a whore.
Smiles,
Indy :-)


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 24-Jun-2015
    Ah, Indy, thank you! I'm so glad you didn't see the ending coming. For me, that's always satisfying. I love the Latinisms, too. I'm almost sorry I used that device. I think I'm going to have to revisit Sly just so I can have more fun with Latin. Now don't be so hard on Honey. Sure she was a whore . . . with a heart of honey.
    Thanks so much. Peace, Lee
Comment by
jpduck
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Three cheers for humpwhistle, the provider of my regular weekly laugh. But this dinger outdongs them all.

"You don't get the yug 'til after you tell us vhat happened in Sveet City, Yim Yack, ya?" (I have the impression -- without looking back to check -- that the Swede has grown distinctly more Swedish as the story has progressed. Perhaps this relates to alcohol intake levels).

'Then came the eager, hard-bitten hordes and the rest of the hopeful hangers-on. All of a sudden, Arisen was on the rise.' (Wonderful alliteration).

'Rot-Tooth Ruth sold a steady stream of stoic humps to semi-satisfied stiffs on a squeaky cot stashed behind a stack of pickle and salted-cracker barrels. The swindle was on. The swag was waggin'. (Better & better).

Adrian


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
    Thank you so much, Adrian. Not everyone appreciates my sense of humor.

    If the Swede grew more Swedish, it probably had more to do with my drinking than his! I'll take a backwards look and try to even things out, ya?

    I really appreciate all of your careful reads, and loyal support.

    Peace, Lee
Comment by
kiwisteveh
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Well done! A more than satisfactory conclusion, with Sly proving he hasn't lost his touch on the con and a clean (well not so clean, since he skipped that part) getaway.

Is there a hint the sherriff is heading back to the Honey-pot with his share of the spoils - maybe you could have made more of that...

Speaking of Honey - she's almost worth some sort of sequel!

Steve


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
    Thanks so much, Steve. I did mean to hint the sheriff might come back for Honey, but this installment was bumping up against 2,000 words, and that's 1,500 words passed the Official FS Attention Span. Honey and Elgin might reappear together.

    I'm glad you was satisfied!

    Peace, Lee
Comment by
royowen
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 Rank:  5
 

#2 Ranked Poet

#5 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
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Just loved this entertaining romp Lee, you sure do turn out a great yarn, just when it looked like Sly and "Sheriff" Elgin have made a killing at the hands of a few rough and ready helpers, that to call them human would be a compliment! Well done, my "spinner of great yarns" friend, superbly written and composed, I thoroughly enjoyed what I read, blessings, Roy.


 Comment Written 23-Jun-2015



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2015
    Thank you, Roy. It's the readers of yarns--like you--who keep me spinnin'. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
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