Write a Kyrielle A kyrielle is made of quatrains that rhyme. Each stanza (that is a quatrain) has a line that repeats, so a line from a previous stanza. That line usually (but does not necessarily have to) be the last line in the stanza. Each line in the poem has eight syllables. There is no limit to the number of stanzas. Usually there are three or more stanzas. Any type of rhyme scheme can be used. More information and an example.
The writing itself I believe was great and the concept quite humorous. The only critique I can really suggest is just my own personal preferences, which is I'm not to crazy about how modern it is. I do realize though that that is what makes this poem what it is so therefore, i don't really have any suggestions as to what might need work.
All I can say is ,"wow." I can't see this poem not winning. It's hardcore, it stirs emotions, it flips the outcome on the usual winners. We see the stupidity and cowardliness of these gangsters when they are confronted with a bigger and deadlier evil. Each stanza is it's own story in a poem, intense, gruesome. I'll say it again, "wow."
Heck, Lance. Neither Michael Myers nor Leatherface has anything on THIS demented do-gooder. I say "do-gooder" for a reason. If he's ridding the world of lil' wannbe thugs, hell...have at it, my maniacal man. More power to ya'!
Too bad about that last lovely lady, tho'...about her gettin' away, I mean.
Best of luck to you in the Halloween Contest judging...
This was a twisted and demented fun poem. It's sad that I had to laugh at their horrible fate, but you wrote it so wonderfully. I don't know why you don't think you could win with this poem, I thought it was awesome. Maybe it is not for the faint of heart, but it sure offered everything the contest asked for, scary, fun, and definitely a horror.
I think it SHOULD WIN.
It's entertaining and why couldn't a demon go after rude trick or treaters?
I loved the count down as he went after them one at a time.
Wonder Woman lived--no wonder--it was after midnight. No longer Halloween.
Love these lines: "I'm gonna slice you up, you sick demon fuck," the dude cried
My ripping out his still beating heart proved that he had lied
Oh, I forgot to mention: Fine rhyming quatrains and good cadence.
Amazing! Hands down the most original, twisted, fucked up, incredible poem I have read this Halloween!
As strange as it may sound, what I liked about it best was the morbid sense of humor. Like, 'youd think people would learn not to hide in the dark'
and 'not one genius thought to run'
This was amazingly awesome. I gotta bookmark it too.
This is like a really demented version of Ten Little Monkeys Jumping On The Bed. I loved the take you did and even though Halloween poems aren't generally my favorite thing to read I'm glad I read this one
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! PRICELESS! I'm still laughing, and my face is sore from grinning so widely. This is sure not one for the kiddies, but I have to ask - do you live in my neighbourhood? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Sounds like a typical weekend in Chicago. I don't know how you could have written this from the perspective you did without using the language. This is hard-core thugdom, and no one seems to care about a human life. Glad the gal was saved, anyway. Excellent expression and you capture the irrational rage. judi