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Reviews from
The Walk


A young man's journey to find his true home.

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
Razor D Belphe
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Excellent. This story was engaging and focused, and conveyed it's characters believably. The pacing was great, "momma" was an imposing monster, and the ending ties things up nicely. Well done.


 Comment Written 25-Dec-2017



reply by the author on 02-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment by
Razaz3l
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hey Mike. Great stuff. Truly. I recall reading the original version of this and it was pretty damn solid back then too. I like the renovations. You've got a talent for storytelling, ya really do. I've been reading the stuff you've been sporadically posting, but have only gotten the chance to review a few. Time--and sleep--is always at a premium. The expose into the publishing world bits have been insightful. Keep doing what you're doing.
You're a source of motivation and inspiration for this guy.
Hi5's all day long


 Comment Written 12-Nov-2017



reply by the author on 13-Nov-2017
    Thanks, man, that means a lot, especially coming from someone who's as immensely talented as you.
    I definitely get the 'time and sleep' thing. I've been trying to post more on fanstory, but I've also entered my first NaNoWriMo, where you try to writs a novel in a month. Believe it or not, I'm almost halfway done. It's been very .otivating for me, but tough to to much else at the same time.
    Did you ever do the Pitch Wars thing? I've been waiting to hear how that went.
    Thanks for the great review, hi5, awesome 6, and general motivational boost. I really appreciate it.

reply by Razaz3l on 14-Nov-2017
    Super cool on the nano writing man. Ive read alot about that. Writing a book in a month sounds intimadating to me, but mine have a habit of being epic length o.0
    best of luck man. I intend to try it someday.
    On the pitch wars, i looked into it and it specifically stipulates the book submitted has to be finished. No partial work would be accepted. I contacted one of the admins and they confirmed it. Incomplete manuscripts wouldnt be accepted. I aim to participate in the next one. Ill have this 1st one done in time, especially if I go the route ive been considering lately. This revised overhaul is already as long as the original rough draft. I could feasibly end book 1 in the next few chapters if i can convince myself its the right move. It'll require a dynamic shift and some minor alterations, but it could be done.

reply by the author on 14-Nov-2017
    You would end it before the epic battle with vraillin?

reply by Razaz3l on 14-Nov-2017
    It's a source of contention at the moment. A lot has changed since the rough draft. Were I to end book 1 where i'm considering, i'd have to shift the primary conflict to focus around the drakoryans and their tenuous relationship. The other outer conflicts would take a co-pilot seat and take the forefront in book 2.
    Unfortunately this means b1 will lose the super finale punches i'd designed the original rough draft around. A little finagling and it'd still finish strong... just not as strong as if I let it go the distance.
    I plan to write it out and make that executive decision later though. Can't let it hinder my slug's progress >.>
Comment by
frogbook
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Quite chilling and enthralling to read. Compelled the reader from beginning to end. Mysterious and frightening and seems like a winner to me.


 Comment Written 31-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 10-Nov-2017
    Thanks so much for your review and awesome six stars.
Comment by
ExperiencingLiphe
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  182
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  135
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  189
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
That's crazy and it show how much power your past can really have on you. I'm glad that he was able to find love and have a little family. He must have had some good memories even though he was so messed up. The ending gave me chills. Great job


 Comment Written 26-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
    Thanks so much for your great review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment by
LaRosa
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  311
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Excellent!
I found no SPAG.
It would have been disappointing if you had cut it into parts, as the intensity that built and waned and built again, several times, would have lost its affect. It was so scary thinking that it just might really be true at first.
You have the reader on the edge all the way through and fascinated to find out how it will end.
A great story! Good luck in the contest!


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
    Thank you very much for your great review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thank you also for the awesome six stars.
Comment by
apky
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow. It did scare me but I read it to the end. I guess that and the rating says it for me about your story.

A suggestion and few nits below to klook into.

I feel that the abbreviations "could've" and "should've" where you applied them, tend to trivialize the sentences. Full out spelling would make them stronger and more appropriate to the situation.

It was an(a) dirty action figure with one of its arms ripped off.

"Good night(,) sweetie."


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
    Thank you for much for your great review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Thanks also for pointing out those nits. Greatly appreciated.
Comment by
Sharon Haiste
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  191 (+2)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  108 (+4)
Review Stars
  Rank:  44
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A compelling story of tragedy, hope, and tragedy again.

I enjoyed this despite to dark topic. It's definitely a Halloween horror.

It was easy to follow and 'see' what was happening.

Good luck in the contest.



 Comment Written 25-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 28-Oct-2017
    Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it.
Comment by
samandlancelot
Patricia
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  434
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  549
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Michael,

Exceptional storytelling. I like your point-of-view character. Excellent pacing throughout. I like Joe's taste of a good home life and your clue at the beginning that it might not last. I like that Joe had a chance to have his own family, and they survived "Momma." I liked the way you described Joe running out of tar. I liked that Joe returned to the cabin. I liked his reason for not leaving to live with his son, and his reason for ending his life. He finally got rid of "Momma."

It was an (change 'an' to 'a') dirty action figure with one of its arms ripped off.

Emily said, looking up into his face. (change 'his face' to 'my face')

Enjoyable read.

Patricia


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 09-Mar-2019
    Thank you very much for your great review and the six stars. This is one of my favorite stories. I actually have a plan of continuing it by showing some of his time in the mental hospital, but editing one novel and writing another has that plan on the back burner for now.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  25
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This speaks when there is determination, no obstacles can stand, after all it is home, sweet home, experience can help but cannot save always, action fulfils desires, real relation helps; I liked.


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2017



reply by the author on 27-Oct-2017
    Thank you very much for your great review. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment by
Xtina Zee
 
 
Average
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I felt as if it wasn't as scary because it was a bit predictable. You could use the use of I. But I was hooked to see what would happen in the end. I liked it

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 07-Jun-2017



reply by the author on 02-Sep-2017
    Thank you for your review. I'm glad you liked it.
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