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Reviews from
The Walk


A young man's journey to find his true home.

  31 total reviews 
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  595
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This has got to be a contender for the win. Your character is so real. The story pulled me in immediately. I didn't mind the length because it was captivating. I didn't want to stop and I've been falling asleep tonight reading poetry. You kept me wide awake.

***
-looked (like) giant bloody teeth.
-You take care(,) kid,
- I lied(lay is proper grammar, but he might actually say layed; lied would be to tell a falsehood) down on the soft bed, and fell instantly asleep.
- her and Paul yelled, running towards her(who? Marcy or Momma? I'm not sure who 'her' is) as [she](the) shadow reached for them.
- I panicked and jumped through the window as the flames converged, land(ed) on the grass in the cool night air,(and) then turned back to watch the fire devour what was my home and family.
- It whispered more forcefully while tendrils hovered next to my ears.
(here you could change whisper to hissed and eliminate more forcefully)


 Comment Written 25-Oct-2015



reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thank you so much. Your wonderful review is confirmation that I did the right thing. I argued back and forth about entering the contest or breaking this down into several chapters. So thank you for the stars and for confirming that I made the right choice.
    Also thank you so much for pointing out errors for me to fix. Greatly appreciated.

reply by the author on 25-Oct-2015
    Thank you so much. Your wonderful review is confirmation that I did the right thing. I argued back and forth about entering the contest or breaking this down into several chapters. So thank you for the stars and for confirming that I made the right choice.
    Also thank you so much for pointing out errors for me to fix. Greatly appreciated.
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