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Share A Story In A Poem
Deadline: In 6 Days

2-4-2 Poetry
Deadline: Dec 2nd

Nonet Poetry Contest
Deadline: Dec 4th

True Story Flash
Deadline: Dec 7th

5-7-5 Poetry
Deadline: Dec 10th


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Reviews from
The Legend of Butcher's Holler


Sometimes a dog is a girl's best fiend.

  72 total reviews 
Comment by
OnyxSapphire78
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is an excellent entry for the contest. This definitely had a dark backwoods feel to it. It certainly captivates your audience from start to finish as well. I found it to have a nice flow and set the mood for a horrifying legend. I especially liked these lines:

Around midnight, 'neath full moon's light, atop tall ancient oaks,
whispered lies, hushed lullabies, belied vile evils they bespoke.

The wily witch was a nice addition. I was expecting a crossroads demon, so you got me with the zag because I totally though you were going to zig. :)

Very well done, Dean! The artwork is gruesome to match your tale! Have a great night!


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
    Thanks for dropping by to read and comment on my work, Onyxsapphire. As always, it is appreciated.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  30 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  60
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Dean
now I know why you are so darn good,
you got your super talent to tell creepy tales
( you are a great example of a chip off the block your
(Granddad)

Like the idea of the banjo music.
Gert


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, Gert. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone does...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)

reply by Gert sherwood on 01-Dec-2015
    You are welcome Dean.
    Gert
Comment by
Sis Cat
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This dark tale put a smile on my face and came at the right time. I am currently reading a 50 year book of African American witch tales, ghost tales, and murder and mayhem tales. I am toying with the idea of knowing this genre so well that I can craft new stories that "have an authentic, old backwoods feel to it, much like the spooky old tales my" mother, father, and grandmother used to tell me when I was a kid. Your "family blood" that inspired you to craft this tale also inspired me. From the stories I read so far in this genre, yours sound very authentic and fits right in. There is a musicality in this darkness, much like your granddad's banjo playing.

Thank you for sharing and inspiring.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, Andre. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone has...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
Zinnia48
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This definitely had a "roots", back woods kind of feeling to it. And I could even hear a banjo in the distance. Your grandfather certainly is proud (and possibly rolling in his own grave). Caroline


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
    Thanks for dropping by to read and comment on my work, Caroline. As always, it is appreciated.
    ~Dean
Comment by
frogbook
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Bizarrly excellent my friend accompanied by the perfect sounds and that last picture-wow, very scary! A complete story to once again chill us to the bone. JoAnn


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, JoAnn. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone has...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  60
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  22
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  38
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  158
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Geez Louise, Dean, this is so darn creepy I might have nightmares - once again I left reading YOUR work for too late at night, too close to bedtime!

The meter is a little rough in places, though, and this excellent tale deserves a smooth flow, so if you don't mind a couple of examples of changes that fit the "da Dum" beat you've got going on...

S1, L4 - "...hate taints all (that) it touches..." - add 'that'
S3, L2 - "(But faith transcends what poorness lends to life's most cherished treasures...) - I re-wrote it to place the stress on the correct syllables

I'll let you work on the rest, but syllable count alone doesn't do it - the emphasis has to be on the correct syllable, yes? Think of the 'beat', like music's rhythm - that's what works for me, anyway. In this particular poem the rhythm you've established is "da Dum, da Dum, da Dum, da Dum" = "that wi/ly witch she sewed a stich..." OR "The le/gends go, as lo/cals know..." Does that help? I hope so because as usual, your poem is otherwise exceptional in every way!


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
    Thanks for dropping by to read and comment on my work, Dawn. As always, your review and suggestions for improvement are deeply appreciated.
    ~Dean

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 30-Nov-2015
    Always a distinct pleasure, Dean - honestly, your work is so fine I can't help myself. I pick the nits (when there are any) because the rest is bloody brilliant, my friend.

reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
    That's very kind of you to say, Dawn. I've implemented your suggestions as requested, and I appreciate the nit-picking much more than "fluff" reviews".

    Thanks again!
    ~Dean ;)

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 30-Nov-2015
    I know you do, as do I, Dean, and it's your gracious response that emboldens me to offer anything I think might help. That's not to say I'm always right (ha ha) but I'll honestly try. :0)

reply by the author on 30-Nov-2015
    Well, you were right in this instance Ii think, lol.
    Thanks again, Dawn.
    Hugs!
    ~Dean :}

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 30-Nov-2015
    :)
Comment by
2019 Script Writer of the Year
Bill Schott
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  31
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  12
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  9
Script Rating
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  8
 

#9 Ranked Novelist

#3 Ranked Script Writer
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Terrific story, Dean, that is incredible as a poem. The images that you select for your work add such depth to the already eerie writing. Blue's picture, at the end, is the clincher.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, Bill. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone does...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
Unspoken94
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Ah, Geez! It's only Sunday and I have to give up a six! Actually if I had a 7 ore 8, I'd have to give it up. To sustain such quality of poetry, rhyme, meter, integrity for such a long time as this poem does, is really exemplary.
You also successfully display the backwoods culture that you attempted to
convey. -Bill


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, Bill. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone does...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
Cass Carlton
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  248 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  72
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  159
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is very much up to your usual standard. the music is very atmospheric, the visuals are terrifyingly appropriate, and the story is dark, tragic and eerie. It is a tale of faithfulness in the face of infidelity . Of vengeance carried out on the innocent. Your grand father has a lot to answer for.
By the way ,How are your brothers? The rhyme scheme adds to the overall feel of a story telling . Well done cheers Cass ps. I love the crickets chirping and the distant owl call . Great stuff C.C.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, Cass. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone does...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
country ranch writer
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  290
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  120 (+1)
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  216
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
no wonder some one never sleeps the sleep so deep when he fears his soul may be taken before he wakens it is the fear of the unknown that keeps one awake


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 01-Dec-2015
    First of all, thank you first and foremost for taking the time to read this rather lengthy poem, Country. In addition, I am very grateful to your for your encouraging comments and exceptional six star rating. But more than winning the contest, great ratings, or anything else that might be involved, I'm just very pleased that you enjoyed the story and overall presentation.
    Not everyone does...
    Thanks so much again, my friend.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean :)

reply by country ranch writer on 02-Dec-2015
    HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS
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