Take Your Burdens to Jesus
This is a 5-7-5 poetry writing
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Reviews from
The Legend of Butcher's Holler


Sometimes a dog is a girl's best fiend.

  72 total reviews 
Comment by
davisr (Rhonda)
Premier Author
Rhonda
 
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  Rank:  165
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  Rank:  92
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Review Stars
  Rank:  168
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A much deserved six, Dean. It is a brilliant story, expertly told in your dark and intriguing story. I love the mix of apart work with storyline, for which you are so well known. Wonderfully done,
Rhonda


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks, Rhonda! You've made my day, my friend, and I was hoping folks would enjoy this one. My Grandpa Cook was a great man--very hard working and kind. But he sure liked to tell his scary, spooky stories, and you'd never know it if you were to meet him and hold a conversation with him in person. He was also a very talented banjo picker.
    I miss him everyday.
    Thanks for stopping by to read and offer your glowing comments. I also appreciate the six stars, as always. We get so few to go around, it seems.
    Have a g-r-r-r-r-r-r-r-e-a-t Sunday, Rhonda, and week ahead.
    ~DeanO

reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 29-Nov-2015
    I love the story about your grandfather inspiring your style. My father is the one who started me on fantasy, which I have neglected of late. I think I will start posting a novel after the holiday, however there are these poet friends of mine who keep inspiring me...

reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    I'll look forward to reading it, Rhonda.
    ~Dean

reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 29-Nov-2015
    Thank you. I have learned so much on this site, and feel my new book (already written but not published, and to rewritten as I go) should show a maturing that the others did not. And if not, what the heck, I write fantasy. Thanks, Dean!

reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Hahaha, yeah, why the heck not, right?
    You're always welcome, Rhonda...
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
Rosalyne
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Dean.
Wow, this is excellent! You are truly a master of writing horror. The story flows so well, the build a great climb to the perfect end. You've done such a great write combining a poem in story form. The music and pictures work so well with your story.
Best of luck in the contest! This is great!
Bye
Rosalyne :)


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015


Comment by
kiwijenny
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I heard strains of Loretta Lynn...I'm proud to be a coal miners daughter whirl in my head...poor dog ...Jeb would have tasted yucky
I read wishing the girl had been lucky...
Well penned my friend..read this round a campfire with a flashlight on your chin...
God bless


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks so much for dropping by to read and review my story poem, Jenny. As always, your comments and readership are greatly appreciated, and I may do just that one day, lol.
    Take care.
    ~Dean :}

reply by kiwijenny on 29-Nov-2015
    Hugs

reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Right back at 'cha, Jenny. :)
Comment by
Michaelk
I work to survive,
but I write to live.
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
'Always been in my family's blood' very nice. :)
This gave me the feeling of a couple of the songs I grew up with. 'Uncle Tom's cable' by Warrant and 'The legend of Wooly swamp' by Charlie Daniels (I think).
I could feel this being set to music very easily.
As for the story, I guess it sucks to be young and innocent in places like that. Why the hell couldn't he just chase the little missus down himself and put a load of buckshot in her ass?
Or go to the witch and say, 'I want you to make me think you look exactly like my wife. Then after she did, just shoot her. Bingo! Vengeance extracted, no hounds of hell, it's all good. And as a bonus, no more wicked witch.
But that's just my twisted little mind starting to ramp back up again after a little break. :)
Well done.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Probably because he didn't fully believe in Maven Fitch's abilities to carry out what she'd promised, Mike. And a witch sets the price for her services, not the other way around. By the time he'd realized she could actually do what she'd promised she would, it was too late for him or Katy. Kind of like the story Pumpkinhead. That's where I got the idea for the old crone getting involved.
    You know as well as anyone, I'm sure, that when you mess with the Devil you'd better be prepared to get the horns.

    Thanks for your exceptionally positive comments and six stars, my friend. I sincerely appreciate it, and I'm very happy to know that you enjoyed the story.
    ~Dean :}
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
What a terrific story, Dean. Blue took his revenge after the devil dogs took the little girl.
I love the final picture of Old Blue with Jeb's arm. Great digital art!
Poetry reads like lyrics. It's no wonder that your grandfather told his spooky tales while strumming his banjo. I imagine that you always hear a tune in your head when you write.
It's all in the DNA.

You have a great contest entry. Fingers crossed here!

Best always,
:) ellen


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks, Ellen. I really do come by it naturally. Ever since I was very young I've been fed ghost stories by family and friends, and I always ate them up. Ironically I was never afraid of the dark like most kids my age were. I kinda liked the "not knowing" part about darkness, and obviously I still do today.
    Thanks for the wonderful comments and six star rating as well. As you know, Fanstory's CEC will be voting on this one, so I will need all of the luck that I can get!
    Have a great Sunday, my friend.
    ~Dean :}

reply by barkingdog on 29-Nov-2015
    Hi, Dean.
    I hope the sixer helps, cause this pom is a good un.

    I hope you had a great Thanksgiving.
    I'm totally enjoying your new FB page.

    Hugs,
    :) e


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    My Thanksgiving was okay, given the current circumstances. But I sincerely hope your Thanksgiving was better, El.

    Thanks so much again. I appreciate each and every six star rating I am fortunate enough to get. It never gets old, does it?
    ~Dean ;)

reply by barkingdog on 29-Nov-2015
    I was alone and slept most of the day. Allen had to work. He's my only family. He'll be here next weekend. He started a new job, so does as he's told. lol He love the work. He's with NetFlix. Where I'm a klutz with computers, he's a whiz.

    Stay cool.
    :) e

reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    I will.
    You too, Ellen. ;)
Comment by
dragonpoet
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  Rank:  79
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  Rank:  60
 
Excellent
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This is a very good horror poem. It sound of urban legend. The whole family died for one choice of a jealous man. It is gross that the dog ate the daughter. Those woods probably are haunted by all involved in these crimes.

Keep writing

Joan


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks, Joan, and I appreciate your comments.
    Old Blue ate Jeb, the little girl's father, not little Katy, his daughter. The hell hounds carried her off to who knows where.
    Much obliged...
    ~Dean :}

reply by dragonpoet on 29-Nov-2015

reply by dragonpoet on 29-Nov-2015
    You're welcome, Dean. Thanks for the clarification.

    Joan

reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    No worries.
    Thanks again! :)
Comment by
royowen
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#1 Ranked Poet!

#1 Ranked Reviewer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Although technically very good I didn't enjoy the demise of a little innocent, it reminds me of my little granddaughter, whom is a treasure to me. My penchant is for happy outcomes. But I can't deny the brilliance of this presentation, Dean, very even meter, slight variation in places, the wording is creative and articulates wonderfully well, the rhyming is good aabb, except for the last two stanzas, well done, Dean, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks very much for taking the time to read and review this work for me, Roy. I sincerely appreciate your comments.
    I'd like to think that good always wins out in the end, but I'm walking, talking, living proof which proves it doesn't.
    My Grandpa Cook was from Butcher's Holler, KY, and he adored Loretta Lynn and her music. Hence the use of the name in this particular piece.
    Thanks again, Roy.
    ~Dean

reply by royowen on 29-Nov-2015
    My admiration for your outstanding work Dean,
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
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Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  58
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  Rank:  45
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  Rank:  224
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A dog is always the best friend.

By the title of this well written poem thought you may have written it about Loretta Lynn, who is from Butcher Holler, Kentucky.

Fair warning provided about going out in those woods. Especially at night.

Another Classic from FanStory's best Horror writer.

Now we know you get it naturally.

No better way to.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks very much for taking the time to read and review this work for me, Brett. I sincerely appreciate your affirming comments.
    My Grandpa Cook was from Butcher's Holler, KY, and adored Loretta Lynn. Hence the use of the name in the piece.
    Thanks again!
    ~Dean
Comment by
chasennov
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Sometimes a dog is a girl's best fiend. "The Legend of Butcher's Holler" This is another excellent poem you have created here, Dean, albeit very ghoulish. But I guess that's what we have to expect when Dean does something. Very well done, my friend.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Hahaha, yes, it is I guess, Chase. Not everything I write is quite so ghoulish, but I will admit that the majority of it is. I just enjoy telling spooky stories in rhyme is all, much as my granddad did.
    Much obliged for the read and review.
    ~Dean :}

reply by chasennov on 29-Nov-2015
    You are always most welcome, Dean.
Comment by
Domino 2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Shit, Deano - the musical intro made me jump out my skin as I observed your absolutely BRILLIANTLY spooky presentation. Is that a Hillbilly playing? - reminds of one of my all-time fave movies, 'Deliverance'. LOVE the banjo and the tune which I'm listening to BEFORE I read your words.

Terrific internal rhymes, and I particularly like:

'But evil's cruel-the Devil's jewel-it craves pure innocence.
A tender soul cannot cajole such staunch malevolence'

That Jeb sure was an evil rotter to trade his daughter into the devil.

At least there's a laugh too, as his two-timing wife met her 'cruel' end - maybe expand on it?

There's nothing like 'man's best friend' when he EATS YOU. LOL.

No comment on the meter, but the entire package was a treat to view, listen to and read.

Now I'm going to listen to that haunting banjo again.

Well worth my sixer, mate.

Best wishes, Ray


 Comment Written 29-Nov-2015



reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks, Rayman, and I'm really pleased to know that you enjoyed this one. I had reservations about adding that banjo music, but I promised my friend who recorded it for me specifically for this piece that I would, and I couldn't let him down. I'd asked him to keep it subtle, and not too overbearing, and I feel he did a fantastic job of it. He too loves the poem and story behind it.

    Thanks again for confirming that the musical accompaniment worked for you, and for your glowing review and six star rating. I wrote this as a sort of tribute to me Grandpa Cook, who often told us boys spooky tales with his abnjo playing as an accompaniment.
    Cheers, mate!
    ~DeanO ;)

reply by Domino 2 on 29-Nov-2015
    I REALLY DID enjoy it a great deal, Daen.

    I have listened to the music about 4 times now, and your friend did a GREAT job. I've always dreamed of being able to play a Spanish guitar well, and I'm even more inspired now o buy one and teach myself - hey, maybe a banjo instead.

    The one problem is, my elderly neighbours here are very touchy about noise, and I've already had TWO complaints from the lady below me about my TV being too loud and on too late at night.

    I'm on a temporary one year lease (it's a govt type welfare set-up), and in June it will either be extended to a lifetime lease OR cancelled and I'll be friggin homeless, so I'm shitting myself at the thought.

    I even bought a bunch of flowers yesterday and presented them to the complaining lady. It was a real suck-up and delivered by me with a false smile, as I think she has WELL over-reacted and exaggerated) though I really don't want to be a rotten neighbour.

    Cheers, Ray.


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    I'm sure it'll all work out for you, Ray, and you'll be permitted to stay. I'm relegated to staying with my exes uncle right now, as I too am on disability and am forbidden to work. It's not that I don't want to work--I do. But no one will hire me because of my failing heart.
    That's why I can't WAIT until I get the first advance for my book sometime soon. I won't know how to act with a little extra money in my pocket! I'm going to try to get into a government assisted apartment, much as you're living in now. I hate having little or no privacy.

    ~DeanO

reply by Domino 2 on 29-Nov-2015
    I knew you had heart problems, Dean, but I didn't realise you were also struggling with suitable accommodation, so I wish you well there, and also with possible future work prospects.

    I also didn't realise your book was potentially so successful. Do you have any idea of the possible advance/remuneration? Please keep my posted, as I'm very interested, and also a nosy old coot. ;-)

    Ray


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Fifty thousand dollars, Ray, paid in two installments. But, since I am a "new" writer (yeah, right... I've been writing for over thirty years for chrissakes!) and an unproven commodity, I am also into the publisher (Samhain Horror Press) for another book. Essentially, they are paying me$25,000.00 for TWO books, and the first is nearly ready for the presses. The second I haven't even started on, not really.
    So you see, you and I have much more in common than you thought as far as our personal lives go. I suppose that's why we're such good friends. We can empathize and relate.
    ~DeanO :}

reply by Domino 2 on 29-Nov-2015
    We DO have vey much in common, Deano, and you're right - that's why I like you so much, though you're probably far more tolerant than me, as I do blow hot and cold sometimes...and then usually regret it.

    WOW, WOW, WOW, WOW! FIFTY THOUSAND BUCKS? I THINK YOU MEAN 25 FOR each BOOK IN ADVANCES, AND THEN I GUESS THE USUAL SMALL ROYALTY PAYMENTS DEPENDING ON SALES. Sorry, capslock.

    That is FANTASTIC!

    So many on here boast about being published, when anyone can self-publish, but to get a real traditional publisher who pays YOU, rather than the reverse, just for vanity, is a wonderful achievement and REAL proof of your talent.

    Power to your pen, Dean. I'm still in shock to think how well you've done by self-belief, tenacity and natural talent, as I know how hard it is to get a 'PROPER' publisher.

    Don't forget to please keep my posted.

    Ray.




reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Oh, you know I'll keep you posted, Ray, absolutely. My daughter is really excited about the book. She just recently got her driver's license and I'm going to buy her first car with some of the money, used and great on petrol, of course. That could have something to do with her excitement, you think, heh-heh?

    Yes, even after the initial advance payments I will receive 3* of total gross sales. I could be higher, but I'm not going to complain. At least it gets my name "out there" (or my pseudonym anyhow), and I can't ask for much more than that.
    ~Dean0 :)

reply by Domino 2 on 29-Nov-2015
    LOL at your daughter's part motives, Dean.

    I know it's tempting to treat our loved ones, but please keep the majority for yourself, as it's YOU who earned it, and as you've had such a hard time, it's YOU who needs treating most and have a little nest egg for YOURSELF put aside!

    I'm SO proud of you, my friend!

    Ray.


reply by the author on 29-Nov-2015
    Thanks, Rayman. I appreciate that.

    My daughter has been there for me through thick and thin, and we've grown closer that ever since her mom walked out on us. I'd probably be dead and in the grave by now without her help and support. No foolin'!

reply by Domino 2 on 29-Nov-2015
    You're a lucky man, Dean, though 'luck' isn't everything to do with it - you must be a special Dad to her to receive such love and devotion back. I wish I could say the same. Nuff said. Ray
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