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Reviews from
Purple Clover


Good neighbors and old cows

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
reconciled
 
Poet Rating
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  530
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hey Sue...-smile-...always mastercraft. Yes maam, time do sneak up on boy. Always loved the way you write...always will. love Michael


 Comment Written 11-Jan-2016



reply by the author on 11-Jan-2016
    Hi Michael...no worries. I know you appreciate my efforts, and please remember how your reviews always give me a boost of confidence and happiness too! Thank you so much!! x
Comment by
Nika2016
Premier Author
Nika2016 has an MS in administration of criminal justice and BS political science/sociology
 
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Excellent
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Excellent...I was there with Rusty each step of the way...could smell the hay and experienced the monotony of the empty house. This is a good story with excellent detail. Good luck!


 Comment Written 03-Jan-2016



reply by the author on 04-Jan-2016
    Hi Nika...Thank you so much. I'm very happy you enjoyed this one and for a wonderful review. ps...this story reflects a bit of how my father was. And we used to chew on purple clover stems when we'd be out working.
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
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 Rank:  75
 
Excellent
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Hello Realist101
You have a unique way to keep a reader desiring to keep reading your prose to how he felt about his neighbor especially stirred my emotions when I read-

There was no answer, just a breeze wafting through the barn door. And a turned around kitten somewhere back in the stack of hay mewling softly, asking for it's mother. Raleigh mused with a real emptiness, that at least Melvin had died doing what he loved. Trying to take care of his small herd of cows and the stray cats that seemed to appear like small unobtrusive ghosts.
You note reined me of Robert Frost' poem the Mending Fence


 Comment Written 25-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 25-Dec-2015
    Hi Gert! What a wonderful compliment! I need to read it/Mending Fences?. I read that poem about the road less traveled as a teen, and I need to revisit his work. ! I'm delighted you liked this and most grateful for this review too! Merry Christmas....it's almost over already. Thank you again, Gert! It's nice to hear from you! Susan

reply by Gert sherwood on 26-Dec-2015
    You are welcome Realist101
    Smiles
    Gert
Comment by
Domino 2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Susan.

Wow! In prose, I think dialogue adds life and reality, but you only have a couple of sentences of it as Raleigh chats to Marvin's bereaved old dog, Rusty. But - it's so effective, as Raleigh recalls and wonders in sadness at the loss of his cantankerous neighbour.

Maybe a couple of commas missing, but I don't pretend to be any expert on them, and they're tricky little blighters. ;-)

You create a spooky and EXTREMELY vivid and atmospheric atmosphere beforehand, and your vivid descriptions of Raleigh's thoughts and the surroundings are outstanding. You have a wonderful imagination and a gift in expressing it.

Held my attention throughout, and that's not easy, as I was THERE. ;-)

A sixer for you - you have a special talent of a professional standard, IMO.

Best wishes, Ray xx





 Comment Written 22-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
    Thank you again Ray! Your kind review is really helpful and also encouraging...I can't tell you how much I appreciate that you enjoyed this...
Comment by
jpduck
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I adored this beautiful, lyrical piece. Your painting of atmosphere was such that I felt I was right there with Raleigh. You are a fine writer.

'Seemed maybe somehow time had slipped around them both, kinda like a fox caught trying to get into the henhouse.' (Love it).
'a crow, oddly silent, circled too slowly -- too low -- as if telling him there'd be no bantering this day' (Another gem).

I have just two minute suggestions for additions: I feel that Raleigh might have wondered at the synchronicity at finding Melvin freshly dead at what appeared to be only his second visit in a long while. I also think that he would have pulled out a few bales of hay for the suffering cattle, while waiting for the emergency services.

One other suggestion. (Square brackets indicate suggested deletions, and asterisks, suggested insertions):

'no matter what he had to do, he [had to] *must* save the darned thing (Avoids repetition of 'had to').


Adrian



 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
    I do think, Adrian that I should, if only I could, hire you as my editor in chief. What a perfect review...not only encouraging, but nits addressed too. I will fix as soon as I take my dog out. Thank you very much and please forgive me not keeping up with your fine story? I am so weak, I can barely go. More doctor stuff this week. Please be well and thank you again. Suse

reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
    Hello Adrian, I have added a bit to clarify the taking care of the cows, and removed one of the 'had to's' too. :) Thank you very much for the great help and wonderful rating. It's always my pleasure to know your thoughts! Suse

reply by jpduck on 22-Dec-2015
    You are so wlecome, Suse; I love reviewing. I'm really sorry to hear you're not in the best shape at present. I do hope the doctors get it sorted.

    With love and best wishes,
    Adrian

reply by the author on 22-Dec-2015
    :)
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Keep right on
writing on
 
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  Rank:  51
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Raleigh thought it unfair that the birds still sang -- that the day was unfair to let the sun be so warm and fine. And his eyes stung with sharp guilt for not being there to save his neighbor. I can identify with these feelings so very well.

An excellent story, Susan. It's too bad we don't stay in touch with friends.

I like how you have woven the tractor and clover in throughout this story. Very well done. Hugs, Debbie


 Comment Written 21-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 21-Dec-2015
    Hi Debbie...it's 4 am, and I hope YOU are sleeping! I fell asleep in the old chair again and just feel awful. I need to put the tv in my room. lol! Thank you for a beautiful review and an extra star too. Love it...and you.
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  214
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Your prose simply dazzles the reader with its lyrical descriptions. You capture through metaphor the effect time has on inanimate objects and then move in closer to note with pain the loss of a friend. Time destroys them too.
Beautiful, Sue.
What have you heard from your doctor?
I would call you, but lost my address book!

Shari xx


 Comment Written 20-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015
    Hi Shari...thank you so much. I can't tell you what your review means to me. I love to write when someone appreciates my style like you do. What a joy. Seriously. And going for more blood tests tomorrow. My phone is 765 296 5080 and if you call try me late as I am more awake in evenings? Or late afternoon. This fatigue is truly debilitating. I can't even go shop for Christmas, and am leaning on something just to be able to type right now. And wanting to move on top of all this. Unreal. I have no strength, and almost fell over trying to make dinner. Thank you again, I always appreciate the extra little star too. luv you. Suse

reply by Spitfire on 21-Dec-2015
    What you have must be catching. Frank goes for blood tests tomorrow. His body aches all over and he's either tired or hungry. I noted the time. Four or seven are good times for me to call too.

    Take care. My energy is low too these days.

    Hugs,
    Shari
Comment by
giraffmang
Level 3 Pro
2018 2nd for short works
2017 Author of the year
 
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  Rank:  100
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi there,

I have to say that this was a really good piece of writing, drawing the reader in and although it was not surprising the journey was unexpected.

Very fine piece.
The old tractors filmy headlights - tractor's.

GMG


 Comment Written 20-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015
    Hi G, apostrophe added! Thank you very much for the help and encouragement. I admire your work and having your thoughts is an honor too. :) Merry Christmas if you and your family celebrate! Suse

reply by giraffmang on 20-Dec-2015
    Enjoy the holidays, and you are way too kind! LOL

    All the best
    G
Comment by
misscookie
misscookie
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You captured my attention from the first line to the last
there was never a dull moments I love the message within in your sorry.
Thank you for sharing.
Cookie


 Comment Written 20-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015
    Thank you Cookie! It's always a real pleasure when you enjoy my efforts...Merry Christmas to you and your family too! x

reply by misscookie on 20-Dec-2015
    You'r every welcome
    Peace and God be with you.
    Cookie

reply by misscookie on 20-Dec-2015
    You're very welcome, take care.
    Cookie
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
Review Stars
  
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
this is an excellent write, susan, you did an excellent job writing this story about the silent field that was a harbinger of death, great imagery presented in this one. I enjoyed reading it


 Comment Written 19-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 20-Dec-2015
    Thank you again Pam, you're one of the best fans and I appreciate having you read and enjoy what I try to do. Have a wonderful Christmas! x
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