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Reviews from
One Good Turn


Two men with a common purpose...survival.

  54 total reviews 
Comment by
sweetwoodjax
 
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Excellent
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this is an excellent write, dean, the stories of the different people of human and zombie perspective. i was wondering if it was going to end, lol. good luck in the contest


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
    I know, Pam, it's very long. But it had to be to maket he story come to a proper resolution that didn't seem contrived or pretentious.
    Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
    Happy New Year.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  10
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#10 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I gotta tell ya, my friend. this one is way too long, but...way too good also. LOL I ;loved it

That coneponeJimmy Hector told me it was one a' them satellites went off course and dropped a shitload of Gamma Radiation down on us. That's the same crap what got Bruce Banner in a heap a' trouble. Turned him green as poison ivy when he got pissed, and mean as a one-eyed rattlesnake, too. But hell, I'm purdy sure y'all know all about the Incredible Hulk, so's all I got ta' say about the matter is no wonder they's acting the way they is if'n what Jimmy told me is true.
language cracks me up:

You are the only one I know of that can couple humor together with chaos and horror so meaningfully, DeanO

Gret stuff. Happy New Year! Bob

"


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    I know it's really lengthy, Bob, and I'm really glad and appreciate that you took the time to read it. Even more than the exceptional rating and complimentary comments, I'm just happy to know you enjoyed it, despite the length. It was just one of those stories that could not seem to reach a believable resolution, given the unbelievable circumstances of course, no matter how hard I tried. I even trimmed 1,700 words from the first draft (killed many of my "darlings", as Mr. King likes to say), then had to rearrange it all to make it work. I've been working on it for over two months. A dialogue with a specific dialect you want people to pick up on is so difficult, as you well know. But it was an essential element to this story and had to be done right.
    Hopefully I've succeeded.
    Thanks again, Bob...for everything.
    I hope you & yours have a very happy, healthy and prosperous new year, my friend.
    ~DeanO :)

reply by Mastery on 28-Dec-2015
    Brilliant, DeanO. Bob
Comment by
nassus1957
 
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Dear friend, the scenes are really quite extreme, especially for me, who's not really into horror genre. Even the accompanying animated pictures are scary to the max. Anyway, Happy new Year. God bless. Susan


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Happy New Year to you too, Susan. Thanks for reading and reviewing, even though the horror genre is not exactly your cuppa Joe. I do appreciate it.
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
Zinnia48
 
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Dean--You have such a gift for dialogue--especially local jargon. It was great fun to read. However, it took me awhile to "get" that the story was being told by two different men. Eventually, I caught on that the manner of speech was what distinguished them. My only suggestion would be to clue us into the fact that the story is being told from two perspectives. Having said that, it was great fun to read. Caroline


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Hahaha...really, Caroline? It was that difficult to tell the difference, lol? Good Lord, I thought it was as obvious as the nose on my face (that's pretty darn obvious too, by the way). Besides, I give each characters name very early on. Jasper's in his introductory paragraph, then Mr. R's in his own.

    Anyhow, setting that aside, I'm glad you enjoyed the story and I appreciate your comments.
    Happy New Year...
    ~Dean :}

reply by Zinnia48 on 28-Dec-2015
    I'm at work, it's late, and I'm reading in between calls. P erhaps that explains my slight disorientation....(smile) Caroline

reply by the author on 29-Dec-2015
    Hahaha, that could very well be, Caroline, heh-heh... ;)
Comment by
The Mom/DarleneThomson
 
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Dear Mr. Dean,
You have a blessed New Year yourself. It was a bit confusing switching from one person to another, one scene to another, but overall I wasn't freaked out and read it all. Poor doggie did he really have to eat that heart? I am glad you told me how to kill them. Forwarned is forearmed right? Great story.
Blessings,
Darlene


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thanks for taking the time to read and comment on the story, Darlene.
    The irony here is that the hired killer (or intelligent man) was killed by the very man he was hired to kill, the redneck hillbilly. Of course, Jasper had no idea that Mr. Raskalov was there to murder him. He simply thought he was a zombie.

    Life does have it's quirky ironies.

    Thanks again for reading. Have a healthy, happy, and prosperous 2016.
    ~Dean

reply by The Mom/DarleneThomson on 28-Dec-2015
    It was ironic how it twisted around and Jasper killed his killer Mr. R. LOL. I wish you a Happy, Healthy, and Prosperous 2016 too.
    Blessings,
    Darlene
Comment by
Louise Michelle
 
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  Rank:  66
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  Rank:  118
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This has got to be one of your best offerings, Dean. I love how it's written in first person, with realistic vernacular that made your character so believable.

Of course the dark humor appealed to me the most. LOL - you did such a good job making all that horror an absolute hoot to read.

This line cracked me up:

I 'spose that would have been the neighborly thing to do

ding-dong dammit also cracked me up

Oh, you are really releasing your naughty (whore's pubic hair) LOL

LOL again - dang coffee's good

The best compliment I can offer is that you got me to read and scroll, scroll and read because I really don't like reading lengthy pieces on the computer screen. Super excellent story. Hugs, Lou



 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    I worked on this for over two months off and on, Louise. I wanted it to be about zombies, obviously, because the contest requires it. But I also wanted it to be different than any other entry, and entertaining to those who cared enough to read it, of course. That was the main thing. It's always the main thing for me--the entertainment factor.
    I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it. Your exceptional review, complimentary comments, and six stars make all that work worthwhile, win or lose.
    Have a very happy and prosperous 2016.
    ~Dean :}
Comment by
Pantygynt
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  177
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  17
 

#1 Ranked Novelist!
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
A science fiction writer once said that one of the great joys of his genre was that you could make up your own rules as you went along, because you weren't working in the world of accepted rules. I think the same is true of the horror fiction writer too. Here you decide how to lay down a rule:

"That's how ya' gotta' kill 'em, ya know? By destroyin' the brain. It short circuits the bastards--stops 'em in their tracks. Drops 'em like a bad habit."

You make that rule and we have to accept it as long as we are held in the grip of that particular story. Talk about "the willing suspension of disbelief" you have to have that in spades when reading work in this genre, and the best writers, like yourself, have the knack of convincing readers that they are in charge and their rules will apply while you are between the covers of this book.

That is where their genius lies. It seems easy, it seems that you can make it all up as you go along, but actually you have laid your rules down as carefully as those that apply to realistic stories. The difference is in the nature of your realism.

I don't often give six stars for prose work, but for the reasons I have already given I consider your technique here to be quite exceptional.


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thank you, Jim, and I appreciate that. You're also right-- if a discerning reader doesn't accept the explanation being given for why something as unbelievable as an apocalyptic events which has unleased a horde of undead upon an unsuspecting world, then chances are all of your hard work will go for naught.

    I've been writing horror fiction far longer than poetry, dark or otherwise, Jim. It is where my passion and love for the genre truly lies. And, as you've so well stated so eloquently here in your review, if a writer doesn't or can't draw their readers into the story and make them feel as if they are a part of it, then making those same readers believe the unbelievable will be almost impossible.
    Thank you for taking the time to read this rather lengthy story. I always value your opinions and I'm pleased you took he necessary time here to offer them. As for the six stars, well... they are just the icing on the proverbial cake.
    Thanks so much again, and have a safe, happy, healthy and prosperous new year.
    With gratitude
    ~Dean

reply by Pantygynt on 28-Dec-2015
    Thanks Dean, and the same good wishes to you for the coming year.
Comment by
Writingfundimension
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The two narrative voices and styles is fascinating in and of itself, Dean. My brain kept repeating: SCRIPT. Don't know if you ever considered it seriously, but this would have to catch the eye of someone interested in making a movie about Zombies. At the very least, I've got to think you'll win the contest with this stunningly complex entry. Good luck!

:) Bev


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this rather lengthy story, Bev. I certainly appreciate your time spent in review.
    Happy New Year.
    ~Dean

reply by Writingfundimension on 29-Dec-2015
    You're very welcome, as always, Dean.

    :) Bev
Comment by
Aussie
Premier Author
Kace
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  88
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  Rank:  41
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Review Stars
  Rank:  142
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Y'All have a good Christmas and New Year now. This story sort of reminded me of the chainsaw movie. All dat swearing Dean, I thought you were a real cool, dark dude. I did enjoy the southern drawl. And the photo of you (swoon) no wonder you are Leader of the Zombies! Hee, Hee, handsome man. Happy New Year mate! XX Ever seen a Zombie on a mobility scooter? XX


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this rather lengthy story, Aussie. I certainly appreciate your time spent in review.
    I always try to abstain from using certain words in my writing, Aussie. "G-D", the "F-bomb", and the dreaded "C" word are no-no's for me, even though I know full well a character like Jasper Creed would use them. So, I try to make the dialogue as believable as possible without them. If a guy goes into a biker bar, gets plastered, then goes out and runs down five Harely Davidson motorcycles on his way out of the parking lot, it's unrealistic to think the bikers are going to say, "Oh my... shucky-darn! That man just ran over our motorbikes."
    See what I mean?
    Thanks for the sixer and the thoughtful review.
    Huge hugs, my dear friend.
    Happy New Year.
    ~Dean

reply by Aussie on 30-Dec-2015
    Happy New Year to you Dean. I hope the storms across America miss you? Yes, we do have to use some language in stories, we may not support it ourselves, still, it is the difference between painting in black or using colour. Big hugs my friend. XX love, Kay.

reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
    Big hugs to you as well, Kay. We had a tornado touch down near here which did a bit of damage. But we managed relatively okay with a few minor damages.
    Happy New Year from our home to yours.
    ~Dean

reply by Aussie on 01-Jan-2016
    Dean, So pleased all is well, sort of. Happy New Year my friend. Love, Kay.
Comment by
trumby
 
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fantastic story, mate.
I hope that no-one has a shot at you for the fact that you don't use perfect grammar.
As far as I could see though, it was to create the character. I quite like this way of talking. Sorta low class trailer trash, barely above being brain damaged.


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2015



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
    Thank you, Trumby. Low-life white trailer trash is precisely what Jasper Creed's character is intended to convey. I guess I managed to do my job there, at least, lol.
    The irony here is the intelligent, experienced hired killer, Mr. Raskalov, was dispatched by the very redneck hick he was hired to kill.
    Life does have its quirky ironies.
    Thanks very much for sharing your thoughts with me about the story.
    Have a happy and prosperous new year in 2016.
    ~Dean
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