Status
New Here?
Fast! Three Questions.
Already a member?
Writing Classes
|
0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.
|
|
 |
Reviews from
One Good Turn
|
Two men with a common purpose...survival.
|
|
|
54 total reviews
|
Comment by
|
|
|
|
| Dean, this was excellent. I am usually not a reader of zombie stories, but I found this one compelling because of the voice of the narrator. His Southern accent sucked me into his tale of horror. I also appreciate his use of zombie humor. I can tell you had fun writing it. At first, I thought it was a Humpwhistle story because he is so good at Southern dialect and accents. Your story is also filled with imagination and creativity. When a story "seemed to take on a life of its own" even when it is about the walking dead, it becomes thrilling. Thank you for your excellent work. I believe you will do well in the zombie contest.
|
Comment Written 28-Dec-2015 |
|
|
| |
|
|
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
Thanks so much for reading this rather lengthy story, Andre. I've been working on it off and on for the past two months as time permitted. Your affirming comments and exceptional rating make all the late-night edits, rewrites and prewrites well worth the effort, despite winning or losing the contest.
I am very happy you enjoyed it, my friend.
From my house to yours, Happy New Year, and thanks again!
~Dean
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
 Rank: 5 | Author Rating For Short Works
 | Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
 Rank: 24 | | | |
|
|
|
|
Hello Handsome :)
You start of with George R. Romero's quote from Dawn of the Dead, I knew it was going to be good.
Check out the contest rules, if I'm not mistaking, you have to incorporate the picture they chose for the story. It looks like a few zombies in a foggy field, it doesn't look like you used it. I could be wrong.
I love the way Jasper talks and his sayings- ....a jack rabbit hopped up on crystal meth... lol
Jasper Creed set up camp in the cemetery, thinking it should be the safest place in town (made sense to me) but shortly after Mr. Raskalov has the same bright idea. He is looking for Jasper to settle a 'gone bad' drug deal. Mr. R was hired to kill Jasper. Now Jasper and Mr. R are staying at the same cemetery. While Mr. R goes out for provisions, Jasper settles into Mr R's place, a mausoleum, and drinks his coffee, takes a nap, and last but not least-he takes a shit. LOL When Mr. R gets back to his place Jasper kills him thinking he was a walker.
Great plot! I would have read a whole book if you had one. You are an excellent writer and it was nice to read more than 300 words. The characters were likable and very interesting, with their unique personas. One talked like a red neck and the other was better educated but a hitman.
As you know, I am a big fan of zombies so it was a pleasure to read 'One Good Turn'. I don't know why but the zombie apocalypse fascinates me. I am reading Slow Burn by Bobby Adair, it's a series of books, it's pretty good.
The presentation is awesome, I really like the pictures you used./ I think it's harder to embellish a story than it is with a poem. With a poem you can add pictures, color and music. But you did a good job. I like the little crosses between sections.
Excellent job!
~Gypsy
|
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015 |
|
|
| |
|
|
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
I worked on this for over two months off and on, Gypsy darlin', so I really appreciate the fantastic comments and rating you shared with me for it. I wanted it to be about zombies, obviously, because the contest requires it. But I also wanted it to be different than any other entry, and entertaining to those who cared enough to read it, of course. That was the main thing. It's always the main thing for me--the entertainment factor.
I'm really pleased that you enjoyed it. Your exceptional review, complimentary comments, and six stars make all that work worthwhile, win or lose.
Have a very happy and prosperous 2016, my dear.
HUGE Hugs!
~Dean :}
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
| Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
| | | |
|
|
|
|
Yep, it is a bit lengthy, but interesting and well done. You did a good job with the dialect. Some good lines that I got a kick out of, like: "That's how ya' gotta' kill 'em, ya know? By destroyin' the brain. It short circuits the bastards--stops 'em in their tracks. Drops 'em like a bad habit."
Just a head's up--should this be aisle: "Quickly, I dispatch of the few remaining ghouls milling about isle (isle is short for island) by isle,"
Good job.
Marilyn
|
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015 |
|
|
| |
|
|
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
Got 'cha, Marilyn. I ought to know better than that by now, lol. Thank you for pointing out that error, and for commenting on the story.
As always, really appreciate it.
Happy New Year to you and yours.
~Dean
|
|
reply by BeasPeas on 28-Dec-2015
Once in a while we all write long ones. I know it--and it runs through my mind--will anybody read this? Then, I think, well--it's for me and this is what I have to say--so write on my dear, write on. Marilyn
|
|
reply by the author on 28-Dec-2015
Yes, you're right, of course.
Thanks again.
~Dean ;)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
| | | |
|
|
|
|
"...population of a just a whore's pubic hair shy of 2,400 inhabitant" absolutely the most fabulous line in the story!
The dialect was spot on - sounded just like my brother-in-law from the southern back hills of Georgia. It flowed really well and I continued to read though zombies are not in my wheelhouse. Considering I write in your genre - zombies make me truly uncomfortable.
A couple of times I could see 'Dean' start speaking: "The sky dawns an odd sapphire blue today. It's such a deep shade--unlike any sky I've ever seen before. To elaborate further, think of catching a glimpse of Earth from a far-off alien moon as you might see in a science fiction film. With a bit of imagination, one could almost picture themselves taking a swim in it."
With that perhaps unintentional peek into your storytelling, you could well substitute excising personal demons with the same emotion and intensity. Excellent artwork - excellent story.
And, I want a Zombie Hammer - too terrific not to have its own story.
AT=/
|
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015 |
|
|
| |
|
|
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
Thanks so much for reading this rather lengthy story, Jean, I truly appreciate that. I've been working on it off and on for the past two months as time permitted. Your affirming comments and exceptional rating make all the late-night edits, rewrites and prewrites well worth the effort, despite winning or losing the contest.
I am very happy you enjoyed it, my friend.
From my house to yours, Happy New Year, and thanks again!
~Dean
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Rhonda | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
| Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
Rank: 186 | | | |
|
|
|
|
| One heck of a zombie story, Dean! It was long, but good literature often is. I enjoyed, especially the realistic country accent. It was charming and added depth to the story. Quite an ironic ending, but it is, afterall, a Zombie story. Lol. Good luck in the contest.
|
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015 |
|
|
| |
|
|
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
Thanks so much for reading this rather lengthy story, Rhonda. I've been working on it off and on for the past two months as time permitted. Your affirming comments and exceptional rating make all the late-night edits, rewrites and prewrites well worth the effort, despite winning or losing the contest.
I am very happy you enjoyed it, my friend.
From my house to yours, Happy New Year, and thanks again!
~Dean
|
|
reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 30-Dec-2015
It was a wonderful story. It had all the elements including a wonderful plot, well developed characters, and great suspense. Well deserved six, and
Happy New Year from my house to yours as well. Have a wonderful 2016. I ready to put 2015 in the books!
|
|
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
Me too, Rhonda!
Thanks again. :)
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
| | | |
|
|
|
|
"No stumbling, reanimated stiff is going to be looking for a hot meal in a boneyard. It seems logical enough to me." I recognize that logic in my own mind, ha ha!
"The silence which follows would make a small town's ordained ministers proud."
Irony
"A fella still needs his privacy." Again, ironic and funny!
All brilliant lines in this post apocalypse vision of the future, Dean! I didn't mind reading the length of the story - I really enjoyed it. Best wishes for the festive season my friend, Pete :-)
|
Comment Written 27-Dec-2015 |
|
|
| |
|
|
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
Thanks so much for reading this rather lengthy story, Pete. I've been working on it off and on for the past two months as time permitted. Your affirming comments and exceptional rating make all the late-night edits, rewrites and prewrites well worth the effort, despite winning or losing the contest.
I am very happy you enjoyed it, my friend.
From my house to yours, Happy New Year, and thanks again!
~Dean
|
|
reply by madhatter1977 on 30-Dec-2015
You're so welcome, Dean! Best wishes for the new year! Pete :)
|
| |
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2015
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by | | | | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 26 | Author Rating For Short Works
| Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
Rank: 37 | | | | | | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
Comment by
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Up For ReviewStand Out WritingAdditional Reading
