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Reviews from
Wolf-Light


A boyhood adventure.

  30 total reviews 
Comment by
barkingdog
Premier Author
2013 #2 Ranked Novelist
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  356 (+3)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  48
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  312
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I hope stories like this are still relevant, Lee.
You took me on quite an adventure, one any one, boy or girl, would love to experience with their father and a real Indian.
Congrats on winning first place.

:) e


 Comment Written 28-Apr-2016


Comment by
mfowler
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You told me in your review of my entry that you were working on a piece using vernacular. Well, it worked, and beautifully. Your sarcasm would have been misplaced in this, but the level of mayhem was made up for during the hunt. This piece is pure joy, a father/son bonding set in early colonial times, where the antagonist is but the fear of possibility, which in turn is the exhilaration and emotional heart of the story. The theme of journey runs through the plot and follows a consistent path from planning, through facing the mother's objections, to the final adventure of the hunt. The characters are beautifully drawn through action and dialogue. The voice of Micah adds intensity as it is his fears, his admiration of father and friend, and his fresh experience of the world (note: idea of an ocean) that give the story its tone and mood. Your use of the prompt is expert and I was in awe of your local knowledge that gave me a real sense of place as I read.
You deserved this one, my friend. I doubt I can write a better story but it pales by comparison to this. Congratulations.


 Comment Written 21-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 21-Mar-2016
    I'm honored by this review, Mark. If the top two spots had been inverted, I could not have complained. You traveled outside your skin and nationality to tell a story that took place on a different map. Your understanding of your story, and mine does you credit.
    I couldn't have written your story better. I know that, because a few years ago, I tried. Not the same story, exactly, but close enough to draw comparisons. In that comparison, I'd have lost.
    The visual prompt could have brought me to another attempt at 'follow the drinkin' gourd', but my mind settled on an even earlier time.
    Thanks again, Mark. I admire your grasp of history, and your ability to make it personal.

    Peace, Lee


reply by mfowler on 21-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Lee. I guess we all bring something a little different to the table when we tell a story. I'm starting to understand what works for me as I suspect you figured out about your own work a long time ago. Writing outside your environment etc is a bit of a leap in faith. Fortunately, Google can fill in the gaps but can't authenticate emotional and atmospheric responses.
    Your dialect work make a huge difference in developing character and setting. It also allows you to have a lot of fun, I suspect.
    Anyways, we both did well in this prompt and I'm proud to share the pretend podium with you.
    Thanks for this terrific reply.
Comment by
Contests
 
 

Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A contest winning entry! A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for posting the winning contest entry.


 Comment Written 21-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 21-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Committee! Much appreciated. Lee
Comment by
irishauthorme
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  Rank:  433
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is outstanding. You keyed your narrative to your intended audience, and I believe every pre-teen boy who reads this (and some adventurous girls) will place themselves in Te Chen Se Ta's (no doubt) brogans.
Your opening paragraph was an excellent hook, who could stop after reading that?
While enjoying this diversion, I kept in mind that there is-without a doubt-more snippy-snappy coming.
irish


 Comment Written 19-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Thank you, irish. Yes, more snippy-snappy is in the works. A leopard and his spots, right? Glad you enjoyed this 'gentler' piece. You got me to the magic '26 reviews'. Much appreciated. Peace, Lee
Comment by
Nika2016
Premier Author
Nika2016 has an MS in administration of criminal justice and BS political science/sociology
 
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  Rank:  600
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A wonderful engrossing story of male bonding and learning the requirements of the environment. My issue, since I have an ear for accent and nuance is: Why is the Dutchman speaking as if he was born in Aux Arcs? The language is perfect for Missouri and any state south, but Wisconsin..Minnesota? In my mind I must tell myself the boy and his father are transplants. It is a great story, regardless.


 Comment Written 17-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Nika. The Finger Lakes are in up-state New York. True, I haven't a clue what a 1700s transplanted Dutchman might sound like. I opted for 'colonial rural'. I'm figuring this family hovers at the very edge of the wilderness.
    Natty Bumpo, from Cooper's Leatherstocking Tales, spoke similarly.

    I'm glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee

reply by Nika2016 on 20-Mar-2016
    Thought you were talking about Great Lakes Area. I think colonials might have had British accents...? Phone.Mistakes.

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Yes, I expect many colonials in 1700 cities had British accents--English, Irish, and Scottish. But I don't know about the wilderness. Ris is from Dutch extraction, his wife from English.
    And what about the neighbors? How did they speak? Truth is, I don't know how the lexicon and dialects may have formed, or when. I patterned the speech after young Natty Bumpo. Then again, Mark Twain loved to give Fenimore Cooper the raspberry. L

reply by Nika2016 on 20-Mar-2016
    :) have a great day.

reply by Anonymous Member on 22-Mar-2016
    Yes, I expect many colonials in 1700 cities had British accents--English, Irish, and Scottish. But I don't know about the wilderness. Ris is from Dutch extraction, his wife from English.
    And what about the neighbors? How did they speak? Truth is, I don't know how the lexicon and dialects may have formed, or when. I patterned the speech after young Natty Bumpo. Then again, Mark Twain loved to give Fenimore Cooper the raspberry. L
Comment by
michaelcahill
Level 1 Pro
rumours and innuendos
rumours of innuendos
 
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  Rank:  191
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Beautiful story and you have accomplished what you set out to do. I'm not surprised. This is always an element of your humorous stories or they wouldn't be so effective. There has to be some heart and likability to your characters or we wouldn't care enough to laugh with or at them and be engaged. This looks like a winner. We all got hung up on the darn ladder. :)) mikey


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Thank you, Mikey. Likeability in a character can cover a lot of ground--especially when you're dealing with humor. Some of my favorite characters are downright scalawags. This story, as you noted, is based more on heart. A simple earnestness based on a boy's view of the world.

    I don't understand your reference to the ladder.

    Thanks again. Peace, Lee

reply by michaelcahill on 20-Mar-2016
    In the artwork provided, most people perceive the image of a ladder formed by two of the trees. A visual is all. Many included it in their piece.

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Wow! That never registered with me. All I saw was the quality of the light.
    I read a few of the stories, but never encountered the ladder. I guess I missed something all the way around.

reply by michaelcahill on 20-Mar-2016
    It ruined quite a few stories as we wrote around that darned ladder. Ha!

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Is there a list of stories entered?

    Fret not, the Committee might consider the ladder important, too. In which case, my canoe will have missed the boat.

reply by michaelcahill on 20-Mar-2016
    No, no list. I wish they'd provide one though. Every time I noticed the picture I'd give a look. Lots of ladder stories. I had a city in the sky in mine. Yep, one of those.

reply by the author on 20-Mar-2016
    Now that you've mentioned the ladder, that's all I can see. I spent months scanning that picture for inspiration, but never saw the ladder. And somehow I missed all the ladder-inspired stories, too. Had I read any of those stories, I might have been influenced. And now I'm intrigued.
    Maybe we should suggest to Tom that, after the judging is completed, all the stories should be listed in one central place.

reply by Anonymous Member on 22-Mar-2016
    Now that you've mentioned the ladder, that's all I can see. I spent months scanning that picture for inspiration, but never saw the ladder. And somehow I missed all the ladder-inspired stories, too. Had I read any of those stories, I might have been influenced. And now I'm intrigued.
    Maybe we should suggest to Tom that, after the judging is completed, all the stories should be listed in one central place.

reply by Anonymous Member on 22-Mar-2016
    Wow! That never registered with me. All I saw was the quality of the light.
    I read a few of the stories, but never encountered the ladder. I guess I missed something all the way around.

reply by Anonymous Member on 23-Mar-2016
    Is there a list of stories entered?

    Fret not, the Committee might consider the ladder important, too. In which case, my canoe will have missed the boat.
Comment by
William Ross
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  456
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wonderful story of a boy remembering his first hunting trip. Great write on this A great read easy to read and follow good for young boys or scouts to read. great job on this enjoy your day.


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 23-Mar-2016
    Thank you, William. I'm delighted you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  17
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  40
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  23
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lee,

If you ask me, which you didn't, I'd have to say that I think this story is still quite relevant. And I think 'boys' of alllll ages would enjoy it -- and obviously, some females, too. *smile* Good luck in the contest!


 Comment Written 16-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 23-Mar-2016
    Thank you, robyn. I would have asked you, but it just seemed easier to go ahead and post. I'm really glad you enjoyed. Thanks again. Peace, Lee
Comment by
JBCaine
New Year...
...Empty pages.
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hump-
For what good it's worth, it is at least relevant to an old codger such as myself.
Well told, Sir. Very true to the genre, and believable.
Great choice of name for the boy, and apt.
Nicely done.
JBCaine-
(Learned to really read on "Lightfoot the Deer" and his various animal friends. This took me back.)


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016



reply by the author on 23-Mar-2016
    Thanks so much, JB. I read James Fenimore Cooper's Leatherstocking Tales when I was young. I've never gotten them out of my system. I time-traveled when I read those stories, and I can time-travel when I relive them.
    I expect I owe some debt to The Deer-Slayer. Thanks so much, my friend. Peace, Lee
Comment by
royowen
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  6
 

#4 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
It was certainly a story for the young adult, I like the way it was expressed, the, in the ways of "flowing as one with nature" respecting it not, abusing it. It's funny how simple indigenous folk have captured the commission imparted to Adam, but the lust for riches has stuffed up the balance of nature. . A feel good story with a moral, Lee, well structured and simple plot, good characters, well done, blessings, Roy


 Comment Written 15-Mar-2016


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