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Reviews from
Blue and Yellow Lunch


Games they play

  38 total reviews 
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  21 (+1)
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  Rank:  201
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow! What an imagination you have, my friend! The really SCARY thing about it is I sometimes wonder where we ARE headed with technology...

As always, Ellen, flawless and entertaining writing. :)


 Comment Written 12-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Hi, Dawn.
    How nice to hear from you.
    Thank you for enjoying this short offering.
    I agree. Technology speeds forward. I have given up trying to keep up with it all. My son doesn't seem at all concerned. It's all a normal part of his generation.

    Best of luck with the smoker.
    :) e

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 12-May-2016
    Yes, it doesn't surprise me that he's not at all concerned - neither are my nieces and nephews- and their kids especially! Thanks for the good luck wishes!!!
Comment by
dejohnsrld (Debbie)
 
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Excellent
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I turned my TV off before New Year;s and haven't turned it back on. My thoughts were to much on the news and it was taking over my head. A very good and true write, my friend~Debbie


 Comment Written 12-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    TV is drains the brain. haha
    Repetition and mindless reality shows. Who cares? There IS a real world out there.

    Thank you for your review, Debbie. I hope you are well.

    :) ellen xx
Comment by
jpduck
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Complex, ingenious and most impressive, I thought.

' "Boring ... not enough action ... you know bodily fluids ... for me."/"Me *n*either." ' (I am not sure if this is a Br/E Am/E thing. Because the second speaker of these two is agreeing with a negative statement, 'either' should be 'neither'. 'Fowler's Modern English Usage' is emphatic about this, and he does not indicate any differences in Am/E; he's normally meticulous about doing this when applicable).


Adrian


 Comment Written 12-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016

    Hi, Adrian.
    Thank you such a glowing review.

    I appreciate the correction, too. I did mean to type 'neither'. If I had read it aloud, I would have caught it immediately.

    I hope you are well.
    Take care.

    :) ellen
Comment by
write hand blue
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  Rank:  306
 
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Hi Ellen, nice to see you back. Electronic role playing affecting a planet and described in an original way. This is thought provoking stuff. Sci-fi is a popular genre at the moment and one I enjoy reading.

And what havoc will be wrought tomorrow, I wonder? An interesting read... ~Mel~




 Comment Written 12-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Thank you, Mel.
    I could go on with this. Imagine the episodes. lol
    I love sci-fi, but haven't written very much. Thought I'd give it a go.

    :) e
Comment by
jonathan1
 
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Excellent
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I really enjoyed this clever and unusual piece. There was descriptive language and great interaction between the characters. The structure was interesting and held the attention of the reader. Well put together and leaves the reader want to know what happens next


 Comment Written 12-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Thank you, jonathan1 for your generous and supportive review.
    I guess, you'll have to let your imagination take you to what happens next. haha

    :) ellen
Comment by
Annette Gulliver
 
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Excellent
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haha ... do you mean to say we're all being controlled here by some aliens playing games with us? I imagined two little boys at first, until they had lunch. A clever fantasy subject.
Annette


 Comment Written 12-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Shhh. No one's supposed to know. The world will need more medication. haha
    I'm glad you enjoyed this little offering.
    Thank you so much for reviewing.

    :) e
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
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  Rank:  8
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Review Stars
  Rank:  61
 

#8 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
This is so brilliant! Super opening that fooled me. Whew, was I glad to find out it was role-playing and no animals were harmed. Wait! The ending shows this is for real but on another planet. These kids are playing with people's lives somewhere in the universe (through the plasma barrier).
They thrive on causing violence seemingly encouraged by their parents' addiction to adult "games". This is too close to the truth for comfort, Ellen.
No wasted words. Realistic dialogue. Great choice of verbs. Subtle suggestions of setting in the future that make this work flow.


 Comment Written 11-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    haha
    I just had to go there, Shari.
    I'm glad you enjoyed this gaming possibility.
    Thank you so much for the sixer.

    Read you on the page.
    :) e
Comment by
Jay Squires
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  Rank:  32
 
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What an enticing piece of satire, Ellen. A good entry back to FanStory. I've missed you, girl!

Just a couple of considerations:

"Better luck ... " [Used an open quote for a close.]

They grabbed the forbidden, adult games, swiftly eminated to Art's, [No comma after "forbidden" Also, "... swiftly EMANATED to Art's.]



 Comment Written 11-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Hi, Jay.
    I'm easing back in but won't be here as often as I was before.
    Thank you for catching the glitches.
    I just reviewed your recent post, and wow, what a seduction ...

    :) e

reply by Jay Squires on 12-May-2016
    You're weaning off slowly. Good. Some say it's better than cold turkey, LOL. Thanks, Ellen.
Comment by
JTStone
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Love the way the story has a real feel to it, then goes into a video game realm, with both players and screen dwellers having existence.
About the family...
You know what? This brings back memories from years ago, when you bought Allen, I can't remember if it was a Play station or an X Box, one of the two. You took him and his friend to, I think it was Chili's for dinner, but they couldn't wait to get home with it... They were the two young gamers, and You were such a proud mom.
I love the dual reality shift, that overlap real memories I can picture.

Jimmy


 Comment Written 11-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Hi, Jimmy.
    I guess those things from our past DO influence what we write. I didn't even have that incident in mind, but you remembered it. We did share a lot back in the day.
    Thank you for the shiny stars.

    Love ya,

    :) e
Comment by
strandregs
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  Rank:  431
 
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Four a twenty two year old with glasses. You write a mean futuristic story.
short and encompassing the toilet hole humanity is roaring spiralling down. Yuk.
entertaining in a shuddering way.
you don't need to reply . I know you love me.
:-)) Z.


 Comment Written 11-May-2016



reply by the author on 12-May-2016
    Add fifty years and give the girl laser-eye correction, and you got me, Z.
    Mmm, now to write something about the big flush. haha
    And you know I DO love ya.

    Stay cool--like in radical.

    :) e
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