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Reviews from
The Bullies


This is a children's story about the effect of kindness.

  15 total reviews 
Comment by
Word Junkie
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hello Mary,

This is a delightful story. I like the way an "accidental" act of kindness allowed you to make your point. Wouldn't it be grand if life really worked this way?

Based on your Bio, you obviously know what you're doing, but I had to wonder at the lack of the apostrophe in "Bullys." It just looks off, and I see that you did use the apostrophe, here: No one has ever knocked on the Bully's door before.

I enjoyed this tender tale.

Thanks for sharing,
Lana


 Comment Written 07-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 07-Jun-2016
    Thank you for the positive comments. I struggled with Bully, Bullys, Bullies, Bully's. I thought I corrected all the inconsistencies but I may have missed something. Thanks for the heads up. I'll look again.
Comment by
mfowler
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
As a teacher I know my students would love your story, especially the direct contrast you create between the Bully's and the Tucker's. They'd love the frown straightening and the hurly burly of being a Bully, while the Tuckers would remind just how their parents might want their families to be. The happy ending is always a winner with kids.
As a writer I'd say you utilize the strength of repetition in kids books to great effect. Throughout you use familiar actions and motifs to tell the story. If I had one criticism it would be the resolution when the act of kindness is employed, came about far too quickly. Although we know it's a kids story, it needs to feel right to overcome our disbelief and convince us miracles do happen,


 Comment Written 06-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 06-Jun-2016
    Thank you for your knowledgeable comments. I did have some other material leading up to the end but took it out. Maybe I should look at it again.
Comment by
Gert sherwood
 
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  69
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hello Marykelly
glad I stopped by and read you bully story about the Bully family

You indeed have a good message for children to remember
Acts of kindness are not hard to do and often make an impact that we have no way of measuring
Gert


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
    Thank you for your wonderful review and extra star. I really appreciate the vote of confidence.

reply by Gert sherwood on 05-Jun-2016
    smiles Marykelly,
    you are welcome

    Gert
Comment by
Tpa
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  135
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  179
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I enjoyed your story. Your writing was excellent and illustrated beautifully the premise. Your theme can also be widely express to adults as well.


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
    Thank you for the positive feedback and encouragement.
Comment by
Brett Matthew West
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  264 (+1)
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  84
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  57
Script Rating
  Rank:  5
Review Stars
  Rank:  140
 

#5 Ranked Script Writer
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
An act of kindness can indeed go a long way as this well written story depicts.

Some times it is the children that demonstrate to adults how to "pay it forward!"

Seems the delivery boy knew exactly what he was doing and how his act would impact others around him.


 Comment Written 05-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 05-Jun-2016
    Thank you for the very nice comments and observant review.
Comment by
Mabaker
Premier Author
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  55
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  247
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I liked this story. I'm not sure modern children would like it but I did. I say this because the modern kid is so fed jealously, hate, greed, the very air they breath is full of bully dust and every bully try's to outdo his brother bully, which is a great shame, because there is always a box of cookies waiting to be delivered even if by default. Regards Mabaker.


 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
    Thank you for the nice review and I hope the message reaches kids of today too.
Comment by
jpduck
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I thought this was a charming and skillfully constructed story. I liked your slightly mesmeric use of repetition which younger children enjoy.

'He calls his delivery boy and helps [the delivery boy] *him* strap the box of cookies to his bicycle' (I appreciate that repetitition is an essential and important feature of this story. But I would respectfully suggest that this one is a repetition-too-far).


Adrian


 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
    Thank you so much for your very positive review. I'll look again at the delivery boy and thank you for the extra star. I'm thrilled by it.
Comment by
Unspoken94
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Even when an act of kindness is not accepted, don't quit.
This is a wonderful short story Mary and it's a story that
both youth and adults can read and appreciate. One quick
anecdote. I like to look through fellow fan portfolios to see
if there are any pieces needing one more review to be given a
higher level of recognition. However one person the other day
chewed me out for doing it and felt insulted that I would review
something of his for that reason. I apologized but gifts, to be
received need some humility and grace. Not all of us possess
those traits. Great story, Mary. -Bill


 Comment Written 04-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 04-Jun-2016
    I love it when my portfolio is examined especially when the intention is to be helpful. As far as I am concerned, read away and thank you for the interest. Also thank you for the complimentary review and as I have indicated in my reviews of your work I admire your writing skills and the messages behind the postings.
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  17
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  40
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  18
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
MaryKelly,

THIS is one of my most favoritest, bestest, happiest, most joyfulest stories I have read ALLLLL WEEEEEKKK! I am smiling ear to ear and my heart has grown seven sizes in the last eighteen minutes. You have a delicious talent for this and I am only DREADFULLY sad that I did not write this exact story -- word for word -- line by line. I WANT IT very much! And soooo.....I will keep it, thank you very much! *smile*

It makes me happpppeeeee!


 Comment Written 03-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
    You have made my day (night). Thank you for your enthusiastic review. I love it. Also thank you for the extra star.

reply by robyn corum on 03-Jun-2016
    Shhhh....don't tell anyone, because it's actually not allowed by site rules, but I posted an 'ad' for you on my profile page. shhhhh....
Comment by
MTF1955
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
So very true. Plus most of us are so busy we never get past hello, how are you doing, then go about our business. A smile, a casual remark that a person looks nice, or has beautiful eyes goes a long way. Your story was wonderful and true acts of kindness makes the giver feel better also. Mary


 Comment Written 03-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 03-Jun-2016
    Thank you for such an observant review.
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