Contact Us | En español    
         Join today or login

Status

New Here?
Sign Up
Fast! Three Questions.

Already a member?
Login

Contests

Tanka Poetry Contest
Deadline: Today!

15 Syllable Poem
Deadline: In 2 Days

100 Word Flash Fiction
Deadline: In 3 Days

Non-Fiction Writing Contest
Deadline: In 5 Days

5 Line Poem
Deadline: Mar 5th


Writing Classes

0 classes available. Click here locate a class and to learn more.

Rank

Poet: None
Author: None
Novel: None
Reviewer:None
Votes: None






Reviews from
2016


Viewing comments for Chapter 33 "haiku (doe and fawn forage)"

Various poems throughout the year

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
Jan McLaughlin
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
You have captured the ah-ha moment better than any I have read. However, i didn't find this one until after I voted. I'm new to this and don't yet know my way around the screens. I entered an etheree but don't know how to promote it -- I think I have to use certificates to have it read or judged or whatever? Although I did get 2 six star things.
I would like to follow you so I guess I click on become a fan. Here goes.


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much for this very generous review and your very kind comments. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my haiku. I would love to have you as a fan. Have you found the 'promote' and 'fan' buttons? If not, PM me and I'll send you instructions. So sorry for this reply being late. Thanks also for the many bright stars.
    Ray
Comment by
Judy Couch
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Your poem is a great commentary on the habits of deer. I live in the country and also enjoy seeing wild animals that you wouldn't see in town.


 Comment Written 17-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much!
    Ray
Comment by
MissMerri
Merri, Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  9
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  124
 

#9 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I like this very much. It reminds me of my mountain home, although we do see deer here on our five acres often too. They eat my roses. ;"(

Your haiku is beautiful and perfectly done as far as I can tell. I would gladly have given it six stars, but found I have none to give. Perhaps a vote will serve just as well?


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Dear Friend, for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my haiku. Also, thank you for supporting this poem in the contest. It did win the Blue Ribbon!
    -Ray
Comment by
Unspoken94
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I've read most of the haiku's in the contest. This one will
be getting my vote. When I think about wild animals and
dolce vita, I think that it's those who are witness to their
presence that makes it dolce vita. All the best in the
contest, Ray. -Bill


 Comment Written 16-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 23-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Bill, for this excellent review. I'm so pleased you enjoyed my haiku. Thanks also for supporting it in the contest. I'm so pleased it took the Blue.
    -Ray
Comment by
BeasPeas
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  331
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very nicely composed haiku, Ray. When I lived in the mountains of California, I also enjoyed watching the deer nibbling on the manzanita leaves. Truly a joy to see and, yes, la dolce vita. Marilyn


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Marilyn, for this excellent review..
    Ray
Comment by
Preston McWhorter
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Ray,
While haiku (doe and faun forage) is acceptable 17 syllables I am giving this haiku a superior rating because of the fresh and creative metaphor of the satori. However I do wonder if this attribution of the feeling of "a sweet life to animals" is not really a personification. Good luck in the contest.
Your friend and colleague,
Preston



 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Preston, for this very generous review and for affirming the satori. The satori does not have to be limited to the subject in the first two lines.....for example, the deer were enjoying sweet berries and the one viewing them was enjoying the good life, aka, dolce vita. :) I do so appreciate your review as well as the many bright stars.
    Ray
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  95 (+9)
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  4
Review Stars
  Rank:  45
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Ray, so right you are. It is indeed a sweet life they are living and to the full. An outstanding haiku. So elegant. Great imagery and a powerful satori line. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:))


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Ulla, for this excellent review.
    Ray
Comment by
barbara.wilkey
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  6
Review Stars
  
 Rank:  38
 
barbara.wilkey Recommends:
Football Chapter 11 part 3
Katherine shares a glimpse of her previous life.
Pays:10 points
10 member cents

 

#6 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I enjoyed reading your contest entry, as I do all of your poems. This poem is excellent, but I will have to admit your sonnets are my favorite. I am sure this poem will show well in the contest.


 Comment Written 15-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Barbara, for this excellent review. I'll see if I can work on a new sonnet this weekend :)
    Ray
Comment by
Val Crisson
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Lovely choice of words, and it entwines many images. I love the satori line, which really made pause as I never thought of a doe or fawn have a taste for the "dolce vita" LOL None the less, a very fun haiku.


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much, Val, for this excellent review.
    Ray
Comment by
dragonpoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  203
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  66
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A nice strong image in these few words. It does sound like a simple and sweet life.

Good luck in the contest.

Keep writing

dragonpoet


 Comment Written 14-Jun-2016



reply by the author on 16-Jun-2016
    Thanks so much for this excellent review.
    Ray

reply by dragonpoet on 16-Jun-2016
    You are so very welcome

    Joan
  -1-  2 3  Next Page 


Market your book.
Advertising options.
Fairy In The Grass
Look for the beautiful Fairy


Share or Bookmark
  Contact Us | En español | Advertise With Us

© 2015 FanStory.com, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Terms under which this service is provided to you. Privacy