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Reviews from
F-f-fu- Dy-yam! She-ut!


I'll do it later

  50 total reviews 
Comment by
Selina Stambi
 
Review Stars
 
 
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You are priceless, Jay! You've written yourself into a corner and have to backtrack and re-write ...

In my mind, that's a good thing. It speaks of an author who is honest with himself. Also, an author whose characters run away with his pen in spite of himself, proves himself a good and humble one - in my opinion, anyway.

Don't know if my comments make sense ... they are meant to be complimentary!

Good luck, Sir, with the re-write/re-tweak.

Chuckles,

Sonali


 Comment Written 30-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
    Love you, Sonali, for your stance and attitude on doing what simply has to be done. One doesn't work 3 years on a novel to make it okay. You didn't get your gorgeous garden without getting some grime embedded under your nails.
Comment by
marion
 
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  Rank:  502
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Geez - I loved the way you wrote this up. Very complex, nearly hard to get your head around if you have not followed the series, but I certainly know what you mean when you get to the end and it 'doesn't fit!' and you need to go back. It's what I have been doing for the last five days. Fine tuning the YA novel I have completed. There are bits that don't jell, and when you change one thing, you gotta go change something else and then you find something else again on another read! Complicated. I loved the comparison as a surfer! Well written, and just overall a great piece of writing to explain your dilemma. Marion.


 Comment Written 22-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
    You are special, Marion. You hit the nail on the head about fixing one thing that causes you to fix another, then another. I'm finding that part out.

    The biggest problem I'm having is the protagonist from the beginning of the novel to the end is a passive agent. Things happen to him. He tries to initiate change to reach his goal, but something HAPPENS to him. The odd thing about that is over the thousand or so pages of the trilogy, I didn't realize the overwhelming impact of that until the point where I pulled the plug. It becomes all very pointless if the end can occur without the protagonist being a part of it. I SHALL find the way out. In the meantime, your sixes give me encouragement to keep on keeping on.
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
Story Catcher
 
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  Rank:  2
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 Rank:  7
 

#2 Ranked Poet
Excellent
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WHAT? The great Jay/KING has fallen? Stumbled? Tripped? Nay! Say it isn't so!!! Because if YOU can do it..... YEGADS! That means...... that means.....yikes! YOWZERS. I'm doooooooomed!


 Comment Written 20-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    You are toooooooo funny. I've fallen and I can't get up. I'll go back to writing short stories until I can take another look at the ending.
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
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  Rank:  278
 
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Wow! You did a number on yourself. Only a true artist will admit his faults. Some valuable writing lessons here. The ending is so important. We learn from our failures. Put the script aside and pick it months later. I'm sure you'll find where the problems are.
Love ya,
Shari


 Comment Written 19-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    Thank you, Shari. I'll be putting it aside at least that long since I'm starting with book one to see if I can find the roots for the ending. Thanks for your support, my dear Shari.
Comment by
lancellot
Level 1 Pro
The goal in life is to be better today
than you were yesterday.
 
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  Rank:  62
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  Rank:  15
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  Rank:  18
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  Rank:  1
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  Rank:  23
 
lancellot Recommends:
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#1 Ranked Script Writer!
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Hmm, yes I did think something along those lines. I was wondering why the god didn't just do whatever he wanted. He was the director of the play, the master chess mover, why need Pondria at all, unless there is a god behind Rhuether too, and the god's act through people.


 Comment Written 19-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    So freakin' frustrating, Lance. I've started at the beginning of book one. That is where the roots for the ending were laid. We'll see. Thanks, for being here for me.
Comment by
J.T.B
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
I'm new on this site, so I just had occasion to discover your posting. I'm pretty unclear what's going on here, but one things for sure, you write well. As a burgeoning writer, I would be honored by your opinion about one of my postings. "Borne by the Storm" and "My occupation" are both at the back of the list. I'm sure your hands are full, so if you don't have the time, no biggie, you still have a new fan!


 Comment Written 19-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    Thank you for your compliments, J.T.B. I've three large books to restructure, so it will be a while before I get back to the end of book 3. I'll try to take a look at one of your posts. I can't guarantee anything, but I'll look at it.
Comment by
Walter L. Jones
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
into the pit, hand in hand the bride and groom, the best man, and in the field of battle stand, bare breasted the winner takes all, life and death, the Gods play games with mer mortals, a simpler time, an election won, a truth left like the witch burning at the stake, ah the role of the author, stidley whiplash and the foever on coming train, always my friend, Walt


 Comment Written 19-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    Walter, you were the one I was most regretful to. You always looked forward to reading the next offering, but I honestly could do nothing but what I chose to do without tossing out all three books. Thanks for the six stars, my friend.

reply by Walter L. Jones on 20-Aug-2016
    just let me know where to buy the finished product, maybe even a signed copy, best day out there and more to come, I am about turn 71, I have beat the odds, no one has managed to live as long as I have with type of cancer and where it, thanks for brightening my day, Walt

reply by the author on 22-Aug-2016
    Walt, I appreciate your loyalty. I hope to brighten your day many, many years to come. You brighten mine just by being here.
Comment by
flylikeaneagle
Premier Author
flylikeaneagle - Nancy Ann Gee
 
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  Rank:  264
 
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Jay: good descriptions and stories. I like the surfing story on a white, water wave.
Table tennis, back and forth with the leads getting the action. For me, a dog getting all the walks and the outside dog walks herself. Choices of writers. I like your stories and long descriptive sentences, Jay. Thanks for stopping by to review me. Glad you enjoy writing. I'll stop by again, Jay! flylikeaneagle


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    Thank you, Nancy. I'm glad you were able to stop by and read this post.
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  117
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  Rank:  253
 
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God, could anything be worse? Maybe, but not much. I know, believe me, since I have done the same, not just once either (I think)...Jay, you have my sincere condolences. You also have my respect and awe for the courage it takes to admit it - not to us, but to yourself! May the revisions roll off your pen like that mighty ocean (metaphorical) wave that was such a joy to ride...


 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 20-Aug-2016
    Dawn, thank you for your understanding. I'm actually having a ball going back to square one and editing book one where the roots for the ending lie.
Comment by
LASARDaddy
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
First, I loved that piece. You use words like I'm trying to learn. The best Mage is great, it drew me to it. I'm 74 and Wal Disney was a god-like hero to me when I was a child. I heard an interview with him years ago that effected my life. He said, "There is no magic, it's all in the details." Having studied magic I can attest to that as fact. All the details there are misdirection.

The only place my mind slowed in the story was at, "...to book III of..." Using the digit '3' or the word 'three' would make it flow more smoothly across my mind. I live in the minutiae.

You interject humor into the scene that draws me in too. I'm like what you state you are in the little blurb with your picture, I'm a floater too. I'm not a follower, but I don't necessarily want to be a leader either. I'm learning this craft (with an incredible effort on the part of my age enfeebled mind), but I refuse to stop trying. In my mind 'Words' are our true Gods. They are what controls everything, how we perceive the universe and using them is our most important task in life.

You've shown me a new wrinkle or two in the use of words. Thank you for posting this lovely story.



 Comment Written 18-Aug-2016



reply by the author on 18-Aug-2016
    Coming from a person who just turned 77 a week ago, I can confidently say don't give up on life before life gives up on you. THank you so much, LASARDaddy, for your kind words and encouragement ... and the six stars, you dickens.

reply by LASARDaddy on 20-Aug-2016
    Hi Jay,

    I thought it was very good. It pulled me into it. If you're 77 you give me great hope that I might achieve what I'm after some day, to write words that others WANT to read.

    Stay safe and enjoy life.

    Paul
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