I read this ...a woman reflecting on the seasons of time. God blessed obviously, even with the "seldom" center missing most of the time. perhaps a husband in the military...-smile-...still grateful for all of the time. love michael
Comment Written 01-Oct-2016
reply by the author on 02-Oct-2016
Thank you reconciled for your kind words and excellent rating. It was written for Military widows living in an assisted living facility. Do stop by again.
Nice sentiment in this poem, however, to my mind it is bumpy, that is, it doesn't flow. Suggestions:
1. I would break into stanzas as you switch images.
2. Tea should be lower case.
3. Tulips should be lower case.
4. Or (gazing at) the tulips and windmills of Holland. This is the only line that does not have a verb. Need one to be consistent in format.
5. New stanza beginning with "No matter where you travel."
6. Eliminate the repetition of the word side in one of the lines.
5. The last five lines, in my opinion are choppy and need revision. Is it love or friendship that is shared?
Comment Written 21-Aug-2016
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2016
Thank you HarryT for you informative review. You have valued points and they will be address. Do stop by again.