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96 total reviews
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| Enter the sandman, whoops there goes the neighborhood. This poem has it all going in the right direction for being an exceptional piece of poetic art. It is easy to read and flows so smoothly from line to line. I'm positive that ole Edgar Allan Poe would say to you, well done poet, well done... John
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Comment Written 30-Aug-2016 |
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Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
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Hi, Dean. Generally excellent meter, plus top unforced internal and external rhymes.
Right, here's the nit-picking. Please, please don't ever take it personally or be offended when I do so, as you only have to check my other reviews to see I do it with everyone, including my friends on here. After all, we all get loads of compliments from kind writers, so I think a more constructive critique should be useful - though of course I don't expect everyone to always agree with my points.
This reads like TWO poetic themes joined in the middle, though there is a loose connection.
I found, 'ZOMB-ies', 'MON-sters' and, 'FRIGHT-ning' started those lines with emphasised syllables which broke the pattern of the otherwise iambic meter.
Of course, no one in their right mind could disagree with your comments on child-abusing scumbags, which you convey very eloquently and poetically. Excellent point too about some 'do-gooders' (though I agree with many Liberal outlooks) who maybe wouldn't be so forgiving if the rotten crimes were 'closer to home'.
TOP poem.
Cheers, Ray.
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Comment Written 30-Aug-2016 |
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
Thanks so much for taking the time yet again to read my work, Ray.
I sincerely appreciate your feedback and insight.
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reply by Domino 2 on 30-Aug-2016
Thanks for your gracious reply, Dean. I assume it's OK for me to continue nit-picking then. ;-) Ray.
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
Sure, absolutely, Ray.
Nit-pic until your heart's content, sir.
Cheers
~Dean
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reply by Domino 2 on 30-Aug-2016
I keep telling myself to write shorter less detailed reviews that take a quarter of the time, but if I see something I THINK needs improving, I can't help myself pointing it out. Cheers, Ray.
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reply by the author on 30-Aug-2016
That's good, not everyone takes the time required to do that.
It's very helpful, at times.
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
 Rank: 145 | Author Rating For Short Works
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Rank: 192 | | | |
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
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| Review Stars
Rank: 153 | | | |
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
| Author Rating For Novels
| Script Rating
| Review Stars
Rank: 297 | | | |
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
| Author Rating For Novels
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Rank: 439 | | | |
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Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
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