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Reviews from
Clothesline Madness


A Facebook meme reminded me of a funny story from childhood

  21 total reviews 
Comment by
alleewin
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I love the way you find the humor in all situations and your amusing descriptions make me feel that I am part of your stories. I can see myself trying to shut the window in a flexed position.

I wish I could give you tips on how to improve your writing but as a grammar challenged beginner I don't have any.

I liked how your last two paragraphs gave the story a powerful sentimental ending.

I am so sorry that your Mom's life ended because of a self centered idiot's actions The altered police report is not justice.


 Comment Written 10-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
    Hi there, Win! Thank you so much for your wonderful, fabulous review and the beautiful six stars! Thank you also for your kind words regarding my mother. It was a horrible time, and stayed pretty unbearable for a few years. Thank you for stopping by. I appreciate you reviewing this as a two center as well...I only wished you could have been paid the 80c it was paying up until this morning :/ So sorry! I hope you enjoyed a wonderful Canadian Thanksgiving that didn't involve border lanes :)

reply by alleewin on 10-Oct-2016
    Thank you. I did have a wonderful Thanksgiving, and I stayed out of trouble by staying home to cook.
    It was well worth it.
    The higher paying reviews are good but reading the stories of my favorite writers is better.
    Blessings,
    Win

reply by the author on 10-Oct-2016
    Well I am blessed...you are a rarity, let me tell you!!
Comment by
Marvin Calloway
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Mary
Interesting story.
Your writing is always filled with humor, insights and entertaining phrases. A few memories of my own were triggered, like hanging clothes up to dry, in our back yard. (of our row home)
My mother had her own curtain stretchers. She used them to stretch curtains for some of our neighbors, to make some extra money.
I think the definition of 'stretching curtains' assumed washing them first.
Marv


 Comment Written 09-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
    Hi Marv, how are you? Thank you so very much for the generous review and stroll down memory lane. I remember pant leg stretchers, same concept I suppose at the curtain stretchers. I appreciate your RR&R and kind words. Thank you so much for stopping by!
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  210
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
What a scream! Told with your flair for seeing humor in even a terrifying incident, I could visualize this cartoon fashion. What saddened me though is the part about the neighborhood going down. I went back to my hometown and saw much the same thing.
Thanks for sharing this whimsical memory.


 Comment Written 09-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
    Thank you, Shari, for your RR&R and I loved reading your comments. :) I hope you are continuing to heal and Frank is getting some answers on balance. Thank you so very much for reading this and going the extra step to review it. Much appreciated!
Comment by
giraffmang
Level 2 Pro
2018 2nd for short works
2017 Author of the year
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  137
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  15
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  8
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  107
 

#8 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Mary,

These things always make me laugh as if they are a sole thing of the past. We still hang out our washing! LOL

They raised their family within it's walls, - its, it is only apostrophe 's' for a contraction, never for possessive means! lol You do it properly a couple of words later as well.

Over my parents forty-four years - I think it should be parents' here.

buying homeowners - buying off homeowners?

overseeing flying lessons with takeoff's and landings - no apostrophe needed for take-offs.

"Shut the damn door!!" and it's variation - its.

the rage of youth to their parents bane - parents'.

eye sore - eyesore.

located in middle of the house - in the middle.

Yep, I moved back to Northern Ireland last year after over 20 years in England. my old house is so run down it's scary. Hardly recognised the area.

All the best
G


 Comment Written 09-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
    Thank you, G-man for another thorough review. You find errors that mysef and 15 other reviewers missed, so I am always grateful. All corrections have been made.

    I love the scent of sun dried clothes and sheets. I have cousins in Dublin and someday hope to one day travel to grandparents homeland one of these days 🙂

reply by giraffmang on 09-Oct-2016
    Dublin is an amazing place. I used to play rugby down there a lot.
Comment by
F. Wehr3
Recognized Writer
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  24
Author Rating For Novels
 
Script Rating
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  457
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Love your humor in this piece and the heartfelt sentiment about your mother and memories of a clothesline.

I found a few things for your consideration.

My bedroom couldn't take any more casualties, or turds.--suggest deletion of the comma. The comma with a coordinating conjunction denotes a complete sentence.

They ran, he gave chase eventually ending up on our back patio, and scaring the "JMJ's" out of Mom.--Suggest replacing the comma after ran with a semi-colon. New sentence: He gave...

Mom survived the crash with a five point broken pelvis and tail bone; and was expected to survive.--suggest revising the sentence 'and was expected to survive.' It isn't a complete sentence nor does it fit into the previous one. maybe She was expected to survive?

Entertaining story! All the best.

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 09-Oct-2016
    Hi Russell, thank you so very much for the excellent review and suggested changes. All have been incorporated and I appreciate your thoughtful review. Have a great evening, Russell!
Comment by
DonandVicki
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  57
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  64
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A very nostalgic story that I did connect with. We lived on a street named Ruch street and I thought it was named after our family, actually it was named after my great grandfather. Well written.


 Comment Written 08-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 08-Oct-2016
    Thank you, Don, for your RR&R. Great story about your great grandfather. I appreciate your interest and time in reviewing. Have a great weekend!
Comment by
MelB
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Great descriptions and imagery with this piece, Mary. I'm no stranger to those hot flashes. They are brutal! I liked the meno-rage. Glad the underoo hippie turned out to be harmless. Sorry, about your mom. It's funny, the things that trigger our memories.


 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
    Thank you so much, Melissa, for your RR&R and yes, the hot flashes...my mom prepared me well for what I should expect, and now I'm living the dream! Thank you for your words and condolences. I sure miss her JMJ's! Have an awesome weekend!
Comment by
Kelly2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Mary, I really loved this story, maybe than any other you've written. The backstory about the history of Maryvale kept me interested throughout. Then the fun began, just like I knew it would.

Some of my favs:

"save me from a misguided self-perception crisis later in life requiring hours of therapy to unravel." And narcissistic assumption of superiority over your siblings...LOL

"my queen of Maryvale card"

"hanging out in my bedroom with a wayward sparrow that had been residing in my messy nest since falling out of his weeks before."

"curtains, adorned with a few fresh turds"

"It seemed Archie Bunker and Meathead types reined supreme throughout my neighborhood, and the world."

"running Fred Flintstone style for the back door" LMAO!

Okay, let's talk about the paragraph that begins: My bedroom door unexpectedly flew open....
"an expression one might muster (OMG, LOL) just before a signal from the brain indicates they are about to either unexpectedly shit their pants, or experience a vasovagal syncope reflex." I had to look up the VSR after I got ahold of myself. It proved ever so helpful to learn that this tongue twister means "fainting". LOL
"One leg coiled up high to stem the flow of scared wee-wee release" I may have peed my pants when I read this, just a little...
"the more rapid fire repetitions, the faster the saints fly in to assist the afflicted."
THIS WAS A GREAT PARAGRAPH!

I also liked the pa.....holy crap, I just spilled and then snorted cherry pucker just thinking about this....get a grip, get a grip, get a grip.

I really liked the part where your back was to the window and you thought her menopausal rage was because of the messy room that you were supposed to be cleaning or the turds on the curtains. I can just see your face...LMAO!

Your last two paragraphs are incredible. That is very bizarre and horrible how your mom died. Especially since it was before her time. It was also sad about you driving by your house. "There is a time and a place inside each of us that holds memories" I like that. You ended it beautifully.

Hilarious and sentimental at the same time. And it worked. How can I be laughing so hard I'm snorting, then practically in tears, three minutes later?

Great job, girlfriend.

Kelly




 Comment Written 07-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 07-Oct-2016
    Kelly....and I reeeeeaaaaallllllyyyyyy love your reviews! I read it this morning to my husband over coffee. Between us, we may have spurted an ounce of java :)

    KellBell, thank you for the awesome review and that fabulous six!!! I loved hearing your reactions and imagination as each scene developed...your reviews are as fun to read as Amazon's Haribo Sugar Free Gummy Bear reviews! I appreciate you letting me know what worked for you. Now I ponder my next story...Griffin the Golden Retriever who came to us as a mid-puppy and brought with him gorging food then peeing in his bowl or flying down a volcano tentatively on a two wheeler before coming to an abrupt crash with l960's concrete...Hmmmmm. Have an awesome weekend, girlfriend!!!
Comment by
Drew Delaney
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Author Rating For Novels
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  306
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
forever altar rather than alter

That is my main nit-picking.

You write with such energy. Explosive even. I love the story and how you describe your mom's reactions. Are you Italian? JK!

Nice job! Keep it simple.

Drew


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Hi Drew, thank you so much for your RR&R. Very appreciated. With regard to the alter v. altar, I used alter as in 'to change'. The altar you suggest has a religious reference, and would not be appropriate in my sentence. Please let me know if I've misunderstood your intention.

    I'm 3/4 Irish, which might be just as good or bad! I have been accused of being a closet Italian when I tell stories v. writing them.😅

    Thank you for your wonderful review and great comments. Have a great weekend... it's almost here!

reply by Drew Delaney on 07-Oct-2016
    I must have been dreaming or something. Of course you are right on that word, alter. I don't know what I was thinking.

    I read your first few paragraphs again to make sure. So sorry about that. Drew
Comment by
2017 Poet of the Year
Barb Hensongispsaca
Barb Henson
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  8
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  55
Review Stars
  Rank:  73
 

#8 Ranked Poet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Absolutely a wonderful read as all of you pieces are.
Loved the JMJ's all the way through and I can see her trying to shut the window in a flexed postion. Those were my favorites.


 Comment Written 06-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 06-Oct-2016
    Thank you very much, Barb, for your RR&R and wonderful comments. I enjoyed learning your favorite parts...mine too ;) I sure miss my mom's JMJ's. Have a wonderful weekend!
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