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Reviews from
Bewitching Halloween


Viewing comments for Chapter 5 "Forever in Shadow"

Poems fun and scary

  23 total reviews 
Comment by
Nika2016
 
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  Rank:  715
 
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Black magic....never a
good thing as it returns
in greater force and
warps minds in the process..
The poem tells a great story
but macabre.


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
    Hi Nika. So true. What bad is done comes back many times stronger upon the person who delivers it. Sometimes it doesn't seem like that though, does it? It seems like the bad guys are winning. Somewhere in the universe, there is justice and evil gets caught. But, this is a Halloween poem so we can be witchy for a month. Thank you for reading and your comments. Marilyn

reply by Nika2016 on 17-Oct-2016
    Yes..we can. That is why we have Halloween...to exorcise the dark side by exercising it..
    Write on.
Comment by
2019 Short Works Writer of the Year
Ideasaregems-Dawn
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  55
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  Rank:  26
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  Rank:  34
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  Rank:  147
 
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Oh, this is wonderful, Marilyn! You write horror/thriller well, my friend. This is just subtle enough to send chills down my spine at the thought of this witch's curse- obliterating the man's face! YIKES!


 Comment Written 17-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
    Hi Dawn. Thank you for your review and great comments. And he's not just a man--he's her husband. That will teach him to dilly-dally in the meadow with a mere mortal woman. However, just a little macabre for Halloween. Half a month left to hop onto the Halloween poem bandwagon. Hugs, Marilyn

reply by Ideasaregems-Dawn on 17-Oct-2016
    Oh, I knew he was her husband - he's still a man, tho' - or WAS. LOL

reply by the author on 17-Oct-2016
    He's still a man, but not to dally anymore. Actually he is a male witch but her power is stronger than his. I was going to put that in there, but didn't want to make it too long since I'm not too much a fan of long.
Comment by
2016 Novelist Of The Year
Jacqueline M Franklin
 
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Hi, Marilyn

= LOL, this is so cool
= Love the artwork and formatting. Very Halloween.
= Would have been a great addition to Dean's book.
= What did you do/not do that it was not eligible?
= Nice work, my friend.

<> A Smile Is A Frown Turned Upside-down (*>*)
<> Cheers & Blessings ... Jax
<> Published as ... Jacqueline M Franklin


 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Jax. Dean gave me directions, but I inadvertently posted on MY site first. I should have posted in his book first and then a copy would be in my portfolio. I wanted this one to go in because it is a bit more macabre than some others I have waiting in the wings. I felt it would be more horror/thriller Halloween appropriate. In the next day or so I'll post a different one in his book. Thank you for your great review. I appreciate it. Marilyn
Comment by
William Ross
 
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very good, creepy, great rhyming, has good meter and reads well. Don't know how someone can betray the one they say they love. thanks for the share and have a wonderful day.


 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi William. Neither can I, but many do it every day. This is a Halloween poem, so we're allowed to be creepy. Thank you for your review which I appreciate. Marilyn
Comment by
rama devi
May All Beings Be Happy
 
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  Rank:  52
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 Rank:  109
 
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Whew! That's intense and dramatic. Well penned with flawless rhythm and fine rhyming. I thought this witty in a devilish way! Most remarkable lines:

Now he'll walk forever in shadow,
since I obliterated his face.

Whew!


Just one optional suggestion:

With a mortal woman he tarried,
With a mortal woman, he tarried,

Fine presentation with spooky artwork.

Warmly, rd


 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi rama. Thank you for your great review of my creepy Halloween post. This one was going into Dean's multi-authored Halloween book, but I messed up. Will write another poem for that. I do appreciate you reviewing and for your suggestion. Marilyn

reply by rama devi on 16-Oct-2016
    Thanks for your kind reply, Marilyn. Blessings, rd
Comment by
Jannypan (Jan)
Premier Author
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  Rank:  3
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  Rank:  17
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Review Stars
  Rank:  7
 

#3 Ranked Poet
Excellent
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Marilyn,

You did a great job with your Halloween poem. The art/image is perfect. Good job on the rhymes, too. Your story is told well. This reminds me of the commercial from many years ago where the woman said 'it's not nice to mess with Mother Nature'--just sub in not nice to mess with witches.

I have not seen any poems using the word 'obliterated.' What a great use of it you included with it.

Good job & thanks for sharing. Janny


 Comment Written 16-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Janny. Thank you for your supportive review of my creepy poem--but it is Halloween time and this will be included in my witchy book. It was intended to go into Dean's book but I messed up. So the next one will go into his multi-authored Halloween poem book. Did you write one? Hugs, Marilyn

reply by Jannypan (Jan) on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi, Marilyn. Yes, I entered 'The Capuchin Catacombs.'

    I bookcased Dean's book from his portfolio. Then when I was ready to add my poem, I pulled that up. At the bottom of his poem in little print is Add a Chapter. So you go there to his book then scroll down to the end and look for that. Then click on it. It takes you to where you post your pome. Janny

reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Janny. He told me that, but I posted on my own site first. I should have posted on his site first.
Comment by
Irish Rain
Level 4 Pro
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  67
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  Rank:  139
 
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Wow....she holds a grudge!!! I don't think I'd want my FACE obliterated...how 'bout my belly? Truly....this is creepy!!! You're right....NO sense of humor!!!! Great Halloween poem! Blessings....


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Judy. Thank you for your review of this one. Yes, don't double cross a witch! A little potent, but once in a while I like to take a walk on the wild side. Besides it's fun to try something different now and then. This one was to go into Dean's multi-authored Halloween book but I messed up. The next poem will go into his book as I think I have it figured out how to do it. Marilyn

reply by Irish Rain on 16-Oct-2016
    Awesome witchy poem!!!
Comment by
jlsavell
 
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  Rank:  509
 
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Marilyn, well it certainly is the time for Halloween eerie poems. You have created a magnificent one here with a curse of all things. you should have entered this in a Halloween contest.. very well done.. jlsavell


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Jimi. Thank you for your great review. I did enter another poem in the Halloween contest and I'm including all my Halloween poems in my own book. This one was going into Dean's book, but the next one I write will go there. Marilyn
Comment by
Liberty Justice
Liberty Justice Premier Author
Liberty Justice Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  576
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
SIX STARS! Poem is filled with intrigue and mystery. Seems there's a dark side to this man who walks with a limp and a cane. His face being erased seems someone is trying to get this person out of the mind. Creepy lurking is very amusing and nice to read. liberty justice


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Liberty. Thank you for your review of one of my Halloween poems. Yes, it's not good for a man to two-time his witch wife. I guess any wife is witchy if she's betrayed, eh? Thank you, too, for your wonderful rating. I appreciate both very much. Marilyn
Comment by
sunnilicious
 
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  Rank:  190
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I'm not a witch. I hope that I can still meet a nice man to be my husband. I've heard a few men can become creepy from depending on their wives too much and hobby choices or mancaves. Idk if it's really true. Your poem is scary to think about. Creative. Good work.


 Comment Written 15-Oct-2016



reply by the author on 16-Oct-2016
    Hi Alicia. Thank you for reading one of my witchy Halloween poems. Not all of them are dark like this. Some are funny. Thank you, too, for your comments. Regarding finding your own hubby, just hold out for the gold. They are out there. Hugs, Marilyn
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