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33 total reviews
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Comment by | | 2018 2nd for short works | | | 2017 Author of the year | | | Poet Rating
 Rank: 208 | Author Rating For Short Works
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Comment by | | Sandra Mitchell | | | Sandra Stoner Mitc | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 98 | Author Rating For Short Works
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Rank: 1 | Review Stars
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Comment by | | Fanstory | | | Recognized Writer | | | Poet Rating
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Lee,
Sorry to be getting to this so long after you posted. I've been working on my own piece and got way behind in my reviewing.
I LOVE this story! It is reminiscent of Dashiell Hammett's, The Maltese Falcon with Sam Spade as the PI, and a lady client, looking for her sister. As I read, I turned W.W. Peel's look and voice into Humphrey Bogart. I couldn't read this fast enough to see what happened, and then it ended - all too quickly. I can't wait for part two.
This is very well written. Through clever use of dialogue and descriptive narrative, this piece moves along at a good pace. The snappy back-n-forth conversation between the characters captures the readers' interest, and keeps it all the way through. I am not a big fan of first person POV because so often it isn't done correctly. However, you've done a fine job of using first person POV, and I enjoyed it very much. The misquote of Poe's raven was absolutely hysterical.
I noticed a couple of spags. Don't know if it was done on purpose or just an omission - you left off/out the period after the abbreviation Mr. . I noticed it with Mr Peel and with Mr Goode.
Excellent piece, Lee, absolutely excellent.
Suzanne
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Comment Written 01-Nov-2016 |
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reply by the author on 02-Nov-2016
Thank you, Suzanne. I understand how daunting the reviewing can be. Can't let it interfere with one's own writing.
I've always loved the noir writers like Hammett, Carver, Cain. And I admit, Peel's voice, when I hear it in my ear, has that distinctive Bogie lisp. And Telma sounds suspiciously like Lauren Bacall.
Fear not, fair lady, Part Two is near completion. I'm hoping to wrap it up in three installments.
After much cajoling from my friends overseas, I've decided to follow their example, and 'drop the stop'
after Mr and Mrs. Time we Americans fell into line. After all we don't place a period after Ms, do we?
I'm really glad you enjoyed. Stay tuned.
Peace, Lee
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | | | Author Rating For Short Works
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Comment by| 2019 Novelist of the Year | | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 82 | Author Rating For Short Works
Rank: 124 | Author Rating For Novels
Rank: 3 | Review Stars
Rank: 45 | | | |
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Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
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I haven't gotten much business, period. So, when she knocked on my doorjamb, I assumed she must be lost.
I've never seen doorjamb spelled like this. I would have typed
door-jam, but spell check is different depending on where one lives!
She displayed no concern whatever about catching my cooties.
(whatsoever) ?
This was authentic to the time period, in dialogue and setting. The author wove an easy carpet of words, actions and dialogue and description of the setting. A quick read and interesting story.
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Comment Written 01-Nov-2016 |
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reply by the author on 01-Nov-2016
Thank you, Sheik. Yes, things get spelled differently depending upon time and place. In W.W. Peel's world, doorjamb is appropriate. By the same token, 'whatsoever' , though correct, is not in his vernacular. And since he's telling the story, I afford him reasonable leeway.
I'm glad you enjoyed. I hope you'll stay tuned.
Peace, Lee
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Comment by | | Word Twister | | | Story Catcher | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 19 | Author Rating For Short Works
Rank: 25 | Author Rating For Novels
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Rank: 36 | | | |
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
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Rank: 669 | | | |
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Comment by
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
Rank: 142 | Review Stars
Rank: 368 | | | |
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