An excellent free verse, Dean. I love alliteration and you did not disappoint with some fantastic lines of it. Great descriptions and imagery created here. I'm sorry for the loss of your Grandma, but what wonderful memories you found and she lives on through them.
Hello my dear friend and Buckeye fan, Dean;
-as I'm writing this review am also watching the Michigan and Ohio State game as it is 10 and 10 in the third quarter at 6:42 left. A tight fought game really concise is both as both teams are relatively equal. And also Ohio State's on the 6 yard line ready to score.
-I love your poem it brings back memories of my grandmother in your poem is so eloquently written right down to the olfactory senses.
-Your actual formatted written words are also fun to read as one is set up like stepping stairs and the other one slowly flows downward as it is written with the word dancing.
-Beautiful pictures as the dusty bouquet inside of an addict and a rocking horse that was once used by a grandchild which was the focus of your writing of a once remembered grandchild thinking of his lovely and forever love grandmother.
-Your free verse poem has a strong and distinctly direct imagery that is definitively expressive in each word that is contingently meaningful for each line and verse. Also the demonstrative descriptiveness of your of your lines promote mental images of the attic and the memories that this person had as a child pining for his grandmother.
-Beautiful composition and well positioned pictures all incorporated with an excellent enjambment that brings an understanding by the reader to really feel the emotions of this person who wrote the poem.
-May your poem be recognized as an exceptional contender in this contest.
-Thanks for sharing this, Dean, and take care and have a good one especially where and when you can find it.
PS: Ohio 17 Michigan 10 and it's 4:15 to go in the third.
That was a real gracious moment in your life, Dean.
You truly are human, and your art, though sometimes apparently brash in character, really does reflect someone who does a lot of deep thinking and self-realization.
Dean, this is a fine, free verse poem--a rarity for you. What resonated for me in your poem is your rich, descriptive language of longing and memories. You made me feel and see this attic and why it was important for you, "I am young again--pining for grandma." You make effective use of alliteration and senses, olfactory and otherwise. I feel the ache and memories that such fond places cause. We never forget such places.
Thank you for sharing. I wish you success in the contest.
This is a work of art, truly. I see the connection to your Grandma Cook in the font, the music, the letters dancing across the page. Utterly beautiful... I'd list a favorite line, but really, it is all the alliteration that I absolutely love. If I must narrow it down, the alabaster and granite lines played well, as well as he casement passage.
You should write free verse more often Dean, this is beautiful, and I could feel the emotion all through this so it's not surprising to read in the author's notes about your Grandma Cook. A lovely tribute to a much loved lady. Good luck in the contest, a wonderful read.
I think to do free verse well, so that it still seems more like a poem than chopped up prose, is difficult, but this is most poetic and a treat for the senses, especially when read aloud. I enjoyed, not only the strong visuals but the abundance of assonance and consonance used throughout. The way your well-chosen words vibrate in close harmony is very pleasant to the ear and adds much to the lovely music of this piece. There is love and nostalgia mingled in with the strong imagery, giving this poem everything a six-star poem should have. It was a treat to read. Best wishes in the contest. This poem should do well.
I enjoyed the read Dean. Well done in using words that I don't often hear. In saying that, it brought out a different feel to the poem. I loved the ending about the attic reminding him of when he was a child. A great piece.