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Reviews from
Fanstoria


A magical, mystical place...sometimes.

  127 total reviews 
Comment by
harmony13
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  159
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  Rank:  130
 
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Excellent Poem! Dean you always seem to have magic as your write! The music is moving. The author's words are strong, interesting, have a message and are thought provoking. Thank you also for the author's notes. I find that being an example with kindness, compassion, understanding and also setting boundaries we can keep Fanstory the beautiful place it is. The music and artwork compliments this poem well. Have a wonderful Holiday Season! Thank you, harmony13 (Maria)


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Thank you for reading, harmony13
    I'm glad we both agree.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Mark Valentine
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  Rank:  402
 
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I can't speak to the content too much as I don't get all that many reviews, and the ones I do get are generally respectful, even when they are critical. the exception is when I venture into writing anything that is critical of our President-Elect - then I hear about what a moron I am. But I've heard your point made by a number of writers on this site, and you're right - civility and respect are always the right way to go.

But I digress, the writing here is excellent. The internal rhymes -the flawless iambic octameter (is that the right term for the sixteen syllable lines?) btw, I wonder if the repetition of the phrase "the floor" in the first line of the last stanza is a cut and paste error seems out of place.

The allegory is great also. Typical great Dean writing.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Thanks for reading, mark.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Mary Wakeford
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A nicely worded message within the world of Fanstoria. Love the thought that we occupy our own little kingdom. Another wonderful sharing by the overly talented Mr. Kuch. Graphics are tops. Well done, and your message is well heeded and important.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Thanks for reading, Mary.
    Warmest wishes.
    ~Dean
Comment by
mermaids
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  Rank:  139
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  Rank:  103
 
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Your words create a clear picture of what can happen here on this site. I like your line "So isn't listening worth the cost". As writers we are all unique and should accept our differences. Hopefully we can come together and applaud our differences and not descend into a dark fairytale.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Thanks for reading, Mermaids.
    Warmest wishes.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Leineco
 
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Excellent
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For a very long time, we held gates of our bastion
and kept the barbarian hordes from advancing.
The kingdom of words and artistic expression
maintained its decorum, though rudeness was prancing
out there, past the fences, and threat'ning defenses.

But palisades fashioned of civil foundations
suffered crass breaches - heretics stormed the oasis.
Then the pressure for retro-fit modernization
further disturbed, our bucolic Camelot basis...
inciting reversion to boorish impert'nence.

I guess its a story as old as mankind
when bedrock's exposed fool's gold will be mined.


A powerful cry into the wilderness Dean,
one many of us howl as we stare, disbelieving,
at artists judging comrades in arms with no sign
of compassion.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Thanks for reading, Lorraine, and for sharing your own poem on the matter.
    Warmest wishes.
    ~Dean
Comment by
krys123
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
May you have the happiest of holidays, Dean;
-truly well said as I have come across the wrath of those who spoke with words that have a certain ploy that they intend to speak the worst of women and men. When I try to self explain of their intent that causes pain it goes in one and out the other ear as though I'm not even here. As if there is many years as you I have laid with respect for others and their accolade and even those who have not won the writings were better than some. Their hearts are in it all the while even though they may have a different style.
-I hope your poem is met with fear that this may come about one year when Tom will say that is enough and may send to the door with a big huff. And out will the be casted one by one and those behind will have their fun.
-Exceptional writing and rhythm with an added touch of alliteration and an enjambment the flow smoothly throughout the writing no hiccups or a syntactical break of any kind.
-The other day I had a poem that the topic was not agreed upon and thus being a sonnet the reviewer thought it was too short. At first I was aghast and then at last I thought about all the times I've had writings given the same. And I just felt sorry for them that their closed minds prohibited them from seeing the person and not the poem.
-What is to become of FS?
-I believe as far as the money keeps coming in the organization will survive even though the internal aspects will change it will still live on because of the capitalistic ideals that make it so.
-Thanks for sharing Dean I hope you and your family have a happy holiday.
Alex


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Hello, Alex
    Thank you for your time spent reading and reviewing Fanstoria
    As always your comments are very much appreciated.
    ~Dean

reply by krys123 on 08-Dec-2016
    You're very welcome, Dr. Shadow.
    Alex
Comment by
Kingsland
 
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This is an excellent story poem. You do such a fine job at relating a story line in poetic verve. This was an excellent over all piece of poetic art.It Was my pleasure to have read and written this response for it... John


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Hello, John.
    Thank you for your time spent reading and reviewing Fanstoria
    As always your comments are very much appreciated.
    ~Dean
Comment by
lancellot
Level 1 Pro
The goal in life is to be better today
than you were yesterday.
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  70
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  Rank:  14
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  1
Review Stars
  Rank:  27
 

#1 Ranked Script Writer!
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is another well crafted gem. We don't see the internal rhyme schemes that often. I tried it once and failed. I will leave them to you. A very good poetic story.

Well done.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Hello, lancellot.
    Thank you for your time spent reading and reviewing Fanstoria
    As always your comments are very much appreciated.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Joseph Pedulla
 
 
Poor
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I don't like the last stanza. Poetry is not supposed to direct the reader to act a certain way. Poetry shows; it does not "fix" problems. Chekhov said the writer's job is to show problems, not solve them. All in all, I think the poem strains too much at making a point that is far better made through writing an essay. The poem should draw attention to its own words, not to some idea that is beyond itself. Because of this, the poem forces rhymes that do not sound natural and forces a narrative that seems somewhat contrived and awkward. I would suggest you try to write a much smaller poem in which your "message" (Oh, how I hate that word!) is conveyed by showing rather than directing. I say this in all kindness because I think you are talented with language, and I think you can do better than this. I know you can. I would love to see what you come up with.

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Thank you, Joseph.
    I feel that your "concerns" are completely biased and unfounded, but they ARE yours and that's all that truly matters, I suppose.
    Furthermore, a One-star rating is extremely insulting as it suggests this is one of the worst poems ever to be composed on FanStory.

    You are not required to award a rating based upon your own personal preferences. You are required to rate spelling, meter, punctuation, grammar, scansion, alliteration, enjambment, juxtaposition, or any other poetic/grammatical device that pertains to the composition itself.

    If you have suggestions to back up your claim--constructive edits--then by all means, make them.

    When you've been here as long as I have and have posted at least one poem and story yourself for critique so I that I may make a determination as to whether or not you are even qualified to make such a claim, then I might listen to what you have to say.
    Until then...
    Good day, sir.
    ~Dean

reply by Joseph Pedulla on 05-Dec-2016
    Incarnation (title)

    I like to think He

    lacked one thing--

    The composer who

    commands all notes

    but cannot sing.

    That there was something

    more in flesh and blood

    than all He was

    and had found good.

    A joy of things

    below--

    A knowing all-knowing

    did not know.


    [There you go. I think I am qualified, don't you think?]

reply by the author on 05-Dec-2016
    Well, I could pick yours apart too, if I had the time.
    However, no, in my opinion you are not qualified. You have posted nothing--zero, zilch, nada--for anyone here to read or critique. You haven't paid your dues here, but I have.
    When you do, then we'll talk.
    Until then, I really have nothing more to say to you.

reply by Joseph Pedulla on 05-Dec-2016
    You mean the only thing that qualifies me in your opinion is posting on this site? Come, now. One may opine on a poem's merits without having to post first. I think we can both see that I know what I am talking about. You say I haven't paid my dues. Believe me, sir, I have spent years working in the vineyard of poetry, and I have paid dues you will never be able to fully comprehend. What I have said in critique stands on its own merits, your negative reaction notwithstanding.

reply by Joseph Pedulla on 05-Dec-2016
    Incarnation (Title)

    I like to think He

    lacked one thing--

    The composer who

    commands all notes

    but cannot sing.

    That there was something

    more in flesh and blood

    than all He was

    and had found good.

    A joy of things

    below--

    A knowing all-knowing

    did not know.


    [Go ahead. Pick it apart.]



reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
    I'm not getting into a pissing match with you, sir.
    I too am a multi-published poet.
    Good luck to you, Joe.

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016


    The above poem by James Whitcomb Riley not only dictates how others (children, in this instance) should act, but is a most beloved poem and has been published numerous times.
    So, my point is proven. You haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about.

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
    It would be like beating a dead horse, but thanks for the offer just the same.
    ~Dean

reply by Joseph Pedulla on 06-Dec-2016
    The James Whitcomb Riley poem does not dictate how children should act. It is a celebration of children's scary tales. Nothing more. Poems that dictate what people should do are nothing more than propaganda. They don't deserve to be called poetry.

reply by the author on 06-Dec-2016
    Really?
    It was written to teach children to respect their elders, be kind to others, or there may be dire consequences.
    Perhaps you should do some research on Mr. Riley's motivations for writing "Little Orphant Annie", then get back to me.
Comment by
Ella25
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
An excellent piece of ancient time...Shakespearian plays so fine indeed. It flows nicely and is very impressive. I enjoyed reading it as I an art and history lover. Well done Dean. Blessings, Ella


 Comment Written 05-Dec-2016


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