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Reviews from
Max


An endearing story of a child's love for his dead brother

  20 total reviews 
Comment by
LaRosa
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  Rank:  311
 
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I have to keep reading Ms Wakeford stories just to enjoy the surprises along the way! The twisted story added to the twisted ending, love it!

older brother goes to camp with little brother, experiences all the great things that younger brother experiences. But, how did he get to go on school camping trip if he didn't go to school?

Author really has reader attention trying to beat her to the punch on the 'why'; but who could guess? Truth is stranger than fiction.

Love your descriptive phrases. Ex:

Bro-baggie
'...when kids are scared to, and of death

Having driven a 64 kid school bus I could relate to this poor driver. And I could believe (almost) that she had to be medicated after the scary drive....ha ha



 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
    Hi LaRose, thank you for your lovely review and kind comments. In answer to your question, it wasn't a school sanctioned trip, it was a sponsored handicapped camp for children. My husband can still recall Max's enthusiasm as he recounted the week at camp :D I appreciate you letting me know the parts you found catchy. I don't know that I could handle driving a bus with that many noisy kids aboard...64!! Holy Moley. You are a trooper!

    Have a wonderful weekend!

reply by LaRosa on 17-Dec-2016
    guess if I'd read closer I'd have figured it out that it wasn't public school..sorry.
    Yes, the 64'er was a real TRIP! I took kindergarten and elem kids, went back for mid-school (they were the terrors) and then high school, a different type of terror. I drove the so called 'war zone' and just a few made it all scary as heck. Wondered why so many drivers were men....but there were so many sweet and good kids, good memories too.
Comment by
bichonfrisegirl
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  Rank:  163
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  Rank:  299
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi Mary,

This is a great story! I loved it! This boy, Max, like many children with disabilities (be they physical or mental) has a giant heart and I think is an old soul.

Your story touches the heart of your reader, and is told in such a way that allows the reader to easily endear himself/herself to this sweet child. Even with all of his difficulties, Max thought about the brother he had never met. It brings a tear to the reader.

Exceptionally well written. Highlights for this reader:

- the replication of Max's way of speaking
- the image that you created of a bus in utter chaos as it was heard that a dead person was on the bus. Very clever to tie in the game of 'Telephone' !
- Bruni piping up, especially "Bruni thought I should share that she screamed loudly on number 3 and then jumped (this cracked me up!!).
- "It was also rumored the bus driver was placed on heavy medication following
the incident" .... I laughed out loud here!

No doubt, Mary, your husband has come home from work with some great stories to share. I am thinking that there is never a dull moment at your house ... and that's a very good thing. :)

Connie







 Comment Written 16-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 17-Dec-2016
    Yay! Connie is back! How I've missed you!! Thank you for the wonderful review on "Max" and for your beautiful assignment of a six to it. So very appreciated! Yes, my husband has a ton of stories, and I just have to remember them all! I loved hearing your reactions to the various parts that struck a chord with you. So very helpful in knowing what works as a writer. Thank you for your review, and have a wonderful weekend, Connie. XO

reply by bichonfrisegirl on 17-Dec-2016
    Hope you have a wonderful weekend too, Mary!

    Hugs,
    Connie
Comment by
Sis Cat
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Mary, this big-brudder-in-a-baggie tale is delightful. I worked with special needs children for several months before I got my current job working with disabled adults for twenty-two years. Yes, our clients live fascinating lives despite and sometimes because of their challenges. Max's story is a good one, contrasting his love for his brother and the bus passengers' and driver's horror over the brother's ashes riding with them. You relayed this story well with dialogue and animation.

I wish I had a six to give you but I am fresh out. I will say that I look forward to your penguin caper. Thank you for sharing and congratulations to your husband for his years of service to a great cause.


 Comment Written 14-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 14-Dec-2016
    Hi there Andre, thank you so much for your terrific review and 'if only' six. So greatly appreciated. How great that you are in the same line of work. One of our sons teaches special education in a local high school and has developed a curriculum for a buddies program. Regular ed kids are partnered with special needs for a semester and it has been a huge success.

    Have you read Tim Shriver's book by chance. It is called 'Fully Alive-Discovering What Matters Most'. I think you would enjoy it. My son's school and program is mentioned, and Shriver has invited my son to several Special Olympic events in Canada and in D.C. trying to get the program to a larger scale globally. Bless you for your work, Andre.

Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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  Rank:  5
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 Rank:  93
 

#5 Ranked Author
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
My sister is developmentally disabled and I, too, have dozens of endearing stories to tell. This one really touched a nerve with me and brought tears to my eyes. Children like Max are so open to understanding that which we as adults find difficult if not impossible. Thank you so much for sharing this heart warming story with us. I am so pleased I had a 6 left to give you for this one.


 Comment Written 13-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
    Thank you so much for your personal RR&R, and that beautiful six. I'm sure your sister has inspired so many also, just like the child in my story. You might enjoy reading Tim Shriver's latest book. Fully Alive--Living a Purposeful Life, or something like that. I think you would enjoy it. Have a wonderful evening!
Comment by
Unspoken94
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Priceless. I have worked with hundreds of children
facing a life-threatening illness but this story is a
jewel. You have written this with wonderful
creativity so that it's more than just a report of
what happened. Well done. -Bill


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
    Hello Bill, so good to hear from you. Thank you for your wonderful review and SIX star rating. So very appreciated. Thank you for your lovely comments. You and my husband and son hold a special place in Heaven. Did you hear about the little boy who died in Santa's arms, literally. I was in tears as the Santa relayed the story. Heartbreaking. Have a wonderful week, Bill.
Comment by
Marvin Calloway
 
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Max is another of your endearing, well-told stories. I was entertained, surprised happy and fearful, but never disappointed.
Please hunt for the few typos.
Marv


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
    Hi Marvin. Thank you for your wonderful review, so glad you enjoyed this. I am terrible at editing my own work, but thanks to many reviewers on this story, I thought we caught them all. I ran through this again after reading your reference to typos, and was hoping to find what you were referencing, but to no avail. The young boy's dialogue and misspellings are intentional.

    Thank you for the wonderful review and rating. Have a great week!
Comment by
robyn corum
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  Rank:  9
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  Rank:  17
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  Rank:  40
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  Rank:  20
 

#9 Ranked Poet
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Mary,

There must have been some talk in that household about the older brother, some reverence, I would think. Something to make Max revere his older brother so much. This was a tender, sweet story about sibling love. Thanks for sharing!


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
    Look at you, popping in again. Thank you, Robyn, so much. RR&R and two for two--I am blessed. I absolutely agree about the brother being spoke of often, creating the wonderful relationship. Have a wonderful week!
Comment by
Ric Myworld
 
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  Rank:  663
 
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Thanks for sharing another of your touching stories and a glimpse into Max's world and his trip with his brother. Well, he didn't lie, his brother was right for the whole week, and doing everything that Max did. If only we all would be so consider of others feeling, dead or alive. Great job. :-)


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 13-Dec-2016
    Thank you so much, Ric, for your RR&R and insightful comments. What a world that would be, huh? Have an awesome week, and I am so grateful for your reviews.
Comment by
2012 Script Writer Of The Year
Spitfire
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  Rank:  210
 
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What an ingenious and sensitive soul. I can imagine the reaction of kids to Max's announcement and laughed to hear the translation of a dead person on board.


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
    Hi Shari, yes can't you just see it going down? Some of those kids were in wheelchairs too, so it made it all the more hectic and frenzied...kids climbing over the two-wheeled obstacles to get away...I appreciate your RR&R and continued interest. Have a wonderful afternoon!
Comment by
emptypage
 
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Love this.

I will be cremated, too. Poor Max, causing all that drama when all he was doing was being a good and loving brother.

Your husband sounds like a pretty good guy.

I would have been around sooner, but first I got really upset by some guy on here who doesn't like criticism and then I went down for several days with a serious infection. I slept almost four days.

Good writing, as usual.


 Comment Written 12-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 12-Dec-2016
    Marla, so sorry to hear about the jerk, but more about your infection/ illness. Oil of Oregano is amazing stuff, you can find it through Young Living or any of the other companies, or at Hi-Health or Sprouts. A few drops under your tongue and hold it as long as you can. (It is rough). Have a chaser of grape juice ready. Just make sure you get therapeutic oil, not topical...The stuff is the most potent natural anti-biotic around.

    Don't let some of these people get under your skin. There is a lot of false courage behind the veil of a pc screen. Take care and heal up! Thank you for the RR&R on this story. My husband mentioned yesterday he can still see that kid's face in his mind, like it was yesterday. Sweet kid! Thanks again!

reply by emptypage on 12-Dec-2016
    I will try the ooo. Thanks.
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