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Reviews from
The Moon's Christmas


A magical experience

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
XGoneX
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi Ellen,
I loved the descriptions and magic oozing in the story. It had a mix of reality and fantasy, I really liked how you managed to blend those and make it believable, which can be hard to do it. Children would love this, maybe in a bigger book, an adventure. A very interesting and peculiar family with a mission in hand. The part of the dogs was really funny.


 Comment Written 30-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
    Thank you for reading and reviewing.. I hoped you'd enjoy it. To make it a book, the only thing it needs is an illustrator.
    Have a Happy New Year! I hope it's the best year ever and your book is finally published.

    Hugs,
    : e
Comment by
lancellot
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
See, this is why I didn't write a Christmas story this year. I knew someone would go all out and blow away anything I had in mind. Great, a complete story and I love the realistic elements in it too from the networks.

Oh well, there is always next year for the rest of us.


 Comment Written 29-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
    How nice of you to say, lancellot. I have my fingers crossed.
    Also, thank you for the generous sixth star.

    May your 2016 be full of happy and exciting moments.

    :) e
Comment by
S.M.E.Schultz
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  Rank:  228 (+1)
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Lovely story. I like the way it addresses the dilemma..magic...real or fake. Its a hard distinction for parents to explain. This is a delightfully confusing answer! The mix of modern and traditional references adds to the mix! Good story for the age level!


 Comment Written 29-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 30-Dec-2016
    Thank you so much for your review. S.M.E. Schultz.

    I hope you have a happy and exciting New Year!

    :) e
Comment by
Writingfundimension
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Super duper story, Ellen. This is a fantastic entry for the contest. Actually, it would make an excellent script for a children's animated Christmas story. It's timely and up-do-date without losing any of the Christmas magic. I hope you win the contest!

Hugs, Bev

P.S. Happy New Year.


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2016
    Thank you, Bev, for the wonderful rating and supportive comments. I saw it in animation form when I wrote it. You read my mind--again. haha The Moon Family is fun to write about.

    I hope your Christmas was great and that you have a fantastic 2016.

    Love and Hugs,
    :) ellen xxx

reply by Writingfundimension on 29-Dec-2016
    Really, you might want to consider pitching it, Ellen. It's got so many elements that young ones would find fascinating.

    Glad Christmas is over. This first one was really hard, but we got together with all the family and made the best of it. I'm sure you know the feeling all to well. I'm looking forward to a healthier 2017!

    Hugs, Bev

reply by the author on 29-Dec-2016
    It's difficult every year, but does lessen with time. Those passed will always be missed as little reminders pop up here and there.
    You've have a mighty full year, Bev. May you have a more joyous 2017!
    Love,
    Ellen

reply by Writingfundimension on 30-Dec-2016
    Thanks, Ellen. That is my wish as well. XXOO
Comment by
William Ross
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A wonderfully written Christmas poem for children. i found it a pleasure to read. it;s great how Christmas went on with a new Santa. thanks for sharing the wonderful Christmas and have a great day.


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2016
    Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, William.

    Happy New Year to you and your family.
    :) ellen
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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  Rank:  14
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  Rank:  11
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  Rank:  42
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  Rank:  8
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  Rank:  4
 

#8 Ranked Script Writer

#4 Ranked Reviewer
Excellent
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This has got to the winner!! It may be a bit longer than the norm but it is so engaging one hardly notices. Santa is a wise man as love and peace will always see us through. The touches of current music for each country, as well as the other subtle references to today's world made it a truly relevant read for children and adults alike. I wish you all the best in the judging and thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 28-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2016
    What a wonderfully supportive review. Thank you so much!

    May you and your family have a truly wonderful 2017.

    :) ellen
Comment by
LIJ Red
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  Rank:  95
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  Rank:  124
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  Rank:  652
 
Excellent
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You know, I only learned recently that Donner and Blitzen mean Thunder and Lightning. Hey, Velda, named after Mike Hammer's secretary. Excellent Xmas yarn for the youthful.


 Comment Written 27-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 28-Dec-2016
    That IS an interesting bit of trivia about Donner and Blitzen. Thank you for that as well as the lovely review.

    Happy New Year, LIJ Red!

    :) ellen
Comment by
dweigt
 
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Excellent
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A charming story, with a lot of good visuals and a nice message.

Just a couple of things caught my eye as I was reading:
a red and green, glitter-strewn, miniature, cardboard sleigh -- I'm not sure of the rule here, but it feels like too many commas to me. I think you could lose the one after miniature. -- a red and green, glitter-strewn, miniature cardboard sleigh

Good Luck in the contest! Keep writing!

Homeland Security, FBI and CIA swarmed -- Just wondering who would have jurisdiction. The reporters are from Canada, so maybe the RCMP would be there too?


 Comment Written 27-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
    Thank you, dweigt. Since the cardboard isn't what is miniature, I think I need the extra comma. It does look like a lot of commas. You're right about that. I need an editor. Are you one?

    Have a lovely New Year!
    :) ellen
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  83
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Ellen. I hope this review finds you feeling up for the holidays. (I am hoping) You have written a gem here, my dear friend. so many golden images throughout, like:

"In his pj's, twelve-year-old Derick reached for a handful and munched away while ten-year-old Jimmy, also dressed for bed, put 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' in the disc player. "All set." The tousle-haired youngest son sat on the other side of his mother. Chipmunk-cheeked with popcorn, he garbled, "Gee, thanks, Mom. You're the best."

And: "You can do better than that." She picked him up, kissed his mousey nose and set him down beside a plate of chocolate-chip cookies. "Try for something bigger." She cleared her throat. "Like Santa."

The dialogue is superb, too, Ellen.

Bless you and please have a Happy New Year. Love you. Bob XX


 Comment Written 27-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
    Thank you, Bob, for choosing favorite sections and giving this piece a six star review.

    I'm doing fine. The one day that's hard to get through is over. I sort of mourn Amanda every year. She was such a joy in my life.

    All's smooth sailing ahead for now.

    Happy New Year, my dear friend!

    Hugs,
    :) ellen xxx

reply by Mastery on 27-Dec-2016
    Sorry, Ellen. forgive me. Amanda who? Bob

reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
    Oh, I thought you knew. She was my oldest and died five years ago. Shot in her apartment by a fellow looking for drugs and money. One of her roommates died too. The shooter is doing two life terms without parole.
    One never gets over such an unexpected thing.
    :) e

reply by Mastery on 27-Dec-2016
    Oh,no! I did not know, Ell. So sorry. I cannot imagine the grief you wen tthrough and still do. I cannot tell you how sorry I am. My son was killed in a freak car accident with a bowling ball in 1981. You can read about it in a short story in my portfolio from about eight years ago called "Top of The Mountain" if you like sometime. Bless you, my friend. XX Bob
Comment by
CEO2020
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
 
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  Rank:  473
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I see you wrote while in isolation, and you wrote a masterpiece. The length of this story shows a writer hard at work. It seem to have been used a therapy. Writing is good therapy and the best therapy for most writers.

Good Bless and Have Happy New Year!


 Comment Written 27-Dec-2016



reply by the author on 27-Dec-2016
    Thank you so much for the six stars, my friend.
    No therapy here. Just fun. I love this family and hope to write more of their adventures.
    I'm always in isolation. Just me and three aging doggies on seven acres. Oh, there are a few deer, raccoons and lots of birds and crawly creatures here, too. haha

    Happy New Year!!
    :) ellen xxx
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