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Reviews from
A New Year's Fable


300 words

  16 total reviews 
Comment by
~Dovey
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Hi Ingrid,

You are so correct in the moral of your story. Possessions can always be replaced, lives cannot. Your fable is written without SPAG or any need for correction. I believe your message is strong and a good lesson at the beginning of the year to focus on that which is truly important.

Thanks for sharing.

Kim


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    I almost turned it into flash fiction and made the location in NA. But, I started with the moral in my head and left it that way. Thanks.
Comment by
Jumbo J
 
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Exceptional
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Hi Ingrid,
well, you know I'm not going to check to see if the word count is correct... yeah, I'll take your word on that... hmmmmmm, does that make me a bad-inadequate reviewer? Oh, well, add that to my list of misgivings!

Gotta love the Fable... and of course the moral that goes along with it... funny thing is... and I don't know why, I've been thinking so much on it lately... but, I have been having flashes on what material objects I would try to rescue from the house if ever the situation arose... so reading this started me all over again.

Fail to prepare-prepare to fail!

Do you know something I should know White Witch of the North?

Smile))))))))))))))))))))))))!

Great little write, beautifully conveyed... wise man that Jacob!

With our thoughts we create,
smart decisions.
James vx's


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    Yuk! Yuk! The jokes on you--no contest. I posted 300 words as a cheap reading investment not a contest rule. Thanks.
Comment by
2016 and 2018 Script Write Of The Year
judiverse
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#5 Ranked Author

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Unfortunately, there aren't any really good decisions in these situations, but the bus did the best thing, not waiting for the people who wanted to collect their belongings but moving on to try to save those already on board. My English teacher was fond of saying, "God helps them who help themselves." Jacob put his energies into trying to get a message to the troops so they'd know where to find the people who needed rescuing. A great story for this contest, and best of luck. judi


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    Lives matter more than photographs, but everyone has different priorities and thinks they can beat the odds. Thanks.

reply by judiverse on 08-Jan-2017
    People probably don't do their best thinking when they're faced with such a situation. I can't begin to imagine what they go through. judi
Comment by
prettybluebirds
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Excellent. This is an excellent lesson we all need to learn. Often our "things" mean more to us than life itself. Well written in your usual great style.


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
    We do make foolish decisions because of property. Thanks.
Comment by
Sasha
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Sasha
 
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I wish I had a 6, this conveys such an important message. Aside from so many never thinking they will be in a disaster, knowing that your life and the lives of others is so much more important than grandma's favorite clock is the most important of all. I wonder how many unnecessary lives have been lost because of running back into a burning house to retrieve something you could well have lived without. Excellent work with this one.


 Comment Written 07-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 07-Jan-2017
    Robyn told me a story about her house burning down. Her mother went back and firth into the house taking her 4 and 6 yr old with her to 'save' things, They threw the things behind the carport, but in the end they burned. No one got hurt, but can you imagine putting your kids at risk for things? Thanks. Hope the swelling has gone down.

reply by Sasha on 07-Jan-2017
    That is a frightening story. No, I cannot imagine putting any child at risk for material things.
Comment by
davisr (Rhonda)
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Rhonda
 
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Oh wow!! This one so deserves six stars! What a great analogy about leaving things behind that need to be left in order to actually survive. There's many things we try to hold onto that keep us from progressing. You delivered the message in a clever story.

Take care,
Rhonda


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
    I am very complimented by your interest in ALL my posts over the last two days. Thank you very much.

reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 06-Jan-2017
    You've been very busy!

reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
    Just for this week, I decided to join the ranking race--6 stories by Wednesday. After that, I don't care where my rating goes. Just love the challenge.

reply by davisr (Rhonda) on 06-Jan-2017
    Yeah, I'm in it too, but have three more chapters to post. I'll post #4 tonight. I can't possibly win, because I know one of the others posting is way too popular for me to beat, but at least I'll post enough to rank, and that's a challenge enough. lol. Good luck!
Comment by
robyn corum
Word Twister
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That's true. The same in the event of a fire. My mom tried so hard to save things when our house was burning - we made soooo many trips back into the burning building, even though I was only 6 and my brother was just 4. She kept handing us stuff to take out and told us where to throw it. We pitched everything just beyond the carport and went back for more, over and over and over. But the fire grew so hot in the end we had to stop - AND in the end, it still burnt everything we had brought out while risking our own safety.

The moral of the story -- people are more important than stuff. Be smart and save yourself. Thanks for this story!


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
    What a terrifying experience for two little kids. I bet you remember everything in total detail. Thanks.
Comment by
Dom G Robles
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

I totally agree with the moral of the story. You don't have to wait too long as to endanger the lives of the people around you. As far as the content and structure of the story, I feel it was eloquently written, short but all the elements were there. My sincerest congratulations.


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
    Thank you very much for the stars and good wishes.

reply by Dom G Robles on 06-Jan-2017
    Welcome. Dom
Comment by
giraffmang
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Hi Ingrid,

Very good atmospheric piece in so few words. The moral is well realised at the end. Reminds me of the old adage 'You can't take it with you when you die.'

Good piece.
G


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
    Thanks. I'm tryng to grease the writing wheel. t's a little rusty.I
Comment by
ExperiencingLiphe
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Stuff is just stuff. It makes me go back to the old question: If you could take one thing with you on a stranded island what would that be? Makes you think about what is most important. Great job


 Comment Written 06-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 06-Jan-2017
    My cat. Under the law, a pet is a possession. I'd want some company. Thanks.

reply by ExperiencingLiphe on 06-Jan-2017
    I like that. If I had a dog or cat I'd have to agree.
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