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Reviews from
To Want More


What would you give to see that smile? (a poem)

  24 total reviews 
Comment by
brenda bickers
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Oh Dawn,
this is so heart wrenching. It puts things into perspective when you see healthy folk whinging and whining about getting the next best pair of sneekers or the newest model bmw. There are children out there who face a bleak existence until they are no more and all they want are answers and the simple things in life.
This one had me welling up.
A really great expressive read.
Brenda:))x


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


Comment by
evilynne
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Exceptional
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Hi, Dawn! I stumbled on this while on facebook this morning. It touched me deeply. It is poignant and well written; it brought a tear to my eye! Evi


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


Comment by
mvbrooks
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You had me at, "Is it so wrong to want to dwell where eagles soar?" My answer: No, it's not. That a child is sick and may die adds a sadness to the poem--but that the child has an indestructible spirit adds joy. You've blended the two emotions well.


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


Comment by
Quantum Traveler
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
The Imagery and Writing are Well Coordinated.

I'm sorry, you can't answer now; "They've Come For Blood".

I know all to well this meaning and the Writing you have posted.
I Know and have Seen the Smiles on these young faces even if it was for just a moment you could see the Light Shine Through.
Everyone should watch the video to shake up their reality and "Answer" that Question..."What Would You Give To See That Smile?"
Thank You Dawn...Well Done...It Touches Home...Quantum Traveler...Phil.


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


Comment by
Novelist of the Year!
For Six Years!
(2008, 2011, 2012, 2013, 2015 and 2017)
Margaret Snowdon
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Is it wrong? I don't think so, altho one rarely
achieves all one might in a lifetime -- your
words trigger my imagination - at least we
can do what we wish and go where we want
in our dreams, Dawn

Blessings,
Margaret


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


Comment by
Mrs Happy Poet
 
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Yes this is well written my friend there is so much a person would give to make a sick child smile even make promises at times that cannot be kept well-done regards Jill


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


Comment by
robyn corum
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Oh, how sad, Dawn! I was loving this poem until you got to that last couplet and it shook me to the core. Bless the child's soul! I wasn't expecting that. Oh no~!


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    Oh, hon - it's a poem hoping to raise awareness and $ for Sick Kids Hospital, really - they do miraculous things for children. Kids from all over the world too, not just Toronto.
Comment by
I am Cat
 
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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I wish I wasn't on my iPhone reviewing this so I could quote all my favorite parts in this!
But I love the salt spray, the oysters, raw...spelunk a cave, dive a sea, run a race...
It goes on and on!
Beautifully written with perfect technique as well as passionate poetic loveliness...
What more can we ask of poetry?
Lovely!
C


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    What do I say? You are amazing, especially to adorn this one (which means SO much) with such fine words and rating - THANK you! (I wrote one for Sick Kids Hospital a couple of years ago too - I know how scared I was when I had surgery for ovarian cancer, so can you imagine those little babies? Oh shit. I'm gonna cry. LOL. Can't do that! We've got a flu outbreak here this year that's pretty bad, and I'm fighting it, but one eye has a cold or something in it - been driving me nuts for 2 days.)

    Seriously, Cat, don't think for one minute that I am the type of person to forget your kind support - thank you a million times over!

reply by I am Cat on 08-Jan-2017
    Oh please don't get sick. You may have conjunctivitis... or it may be allergies. Mountain cedar is horrible here right now.
    Take care of yourself.

    And keep writing this sort of thing.

    I hope your ovarian cancer is all under control.
    Yes, kids with cancer just isn't right.
    :-(.

    Hugs

reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    Yes, it was resolved, thank you, but a client had her church pray for me, and I swear, it was a cakewalk. I was astounded. ad the surgery at noon and by five o'clock had the nurses remove the morphine drip and was out of bed with NO PAIN AT ALL. But a much younger woman I knew passed away - same ovarian cancer, diagnosed about the same time as me too.

    Yeah, kids with any serious illness is so unfair!

reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    LOL - Cat, I am trying desperately not to get sick - I have asthma, allergies and so on and I get really sick, even with a cold. Since hearing the news report I won't even go out for groceries. (Howie Mandel and I...GERMS! HAHAHAHA).

    So get this - I don't see anyone for days, and washing hands constantly and so on, and what happens? The second day after deciding I would stay in for the weeks they're predicting are the worst for this bug, doesn't my neighbor show up returning the plate I'd loaded with turkey for him. That was a few days ago.

    He got a new pone number, so I took it from him then, but then lost it, so yesterday I went upstairs to get it again...guess who just came home from hospital's Emerg? He was SO SICK - could barely talk.

    I wanted to kill him. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Anyway, I feel better today, but I know I am fighting it off. Throat is scratchy, dizzy, tummy and chest not quite right-- but it's the eyes that make it hard to be on the laptop. Now the second one is starting to act up...LOL. OMG. I need to buy a lottery ticket!!! *grin*

reply by I am Cat on 08-Jan-2017
    Lol, I stay home this time of year as well. I'm allergic to eggs and so, can't get a flu shot. Also, asthma and allergies... same story... bronchitis and pneumonia used to be major culprits for me, but since I dropped out of society and don't eat foods I'm allergic to, I don't get AS sick... just sneeze my head off all winter. Lol

    Feel better!
    Vitamin c and zinc... mwah!
Comment by
Mystic Angel 7777
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This is marvelous! Cancer, as well as any potentially terminal disease is hard for an adult to handle so imagine what it is like for a child. From personal experience, I know that these kids never lose their spirit or imagination and are shining examples of what faith and the simple joy of living each day is all about. This is beautifully penned and I thank you very much for sharing it.


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 08-Jan-2017
    I know exactly what you mean! When I had my surgery for ovarian cancer I was bloody terrified - poor little ones!!! I wrote another poem looking for donations for the hospital a couple of years back too, even put the information on my page out front. I don't know if it helped, but I sure hope so. Sick Kids is THE place for ill children - they've performed miracles!

    Thanks so much, Monica. You have such a great heart. XX
Comment by
~Dovey
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Hi Dawn,

This one has melancholy undertones at the end, but I really enjoyed the entire bucket list. It is like it is a race to get it all accomplished. Yes, encourage them. It is ok to want more out of life, especially if it seems time is limited.

Great rhymes and writing!

Kim


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2017


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