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107 total reviews
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
 Rank: 289 | Author Rating For Short Works
 | Author Rating For Novels
| Review Stars
 Rank: 437 | | | |
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Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
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Ah, man. To start, your photo looks like the grandfather of a good friend. His name was Pee Dab Ashe from Sylva, NC. When he checked out, and gave up the ghost, he rolled on his side and sighed. A six star poem for the memories and excellent penning. Yours is worthy of the title Poem of the Month.
One minor spag:
Here: My eyes behold bright hues of red tucked [WARM] within this tufted bed.
Edited: My eyes behold bright hues of red tucked [WARMLY] within this tufted bed.
I especially like your closing line and use of the word hoary. Hoary defined is grayish white or old and trite, both of which fit the image you crafted. Well done, sir, well done!
Grasshopper sans-a-coiffure
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Comment Written 16-Feb-2017 |
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reply by the author on 16-Feb-2017
Thank you for your warm reception of this poem, Michael, as well as the exceptional six star rating.
There were a great many talented poets in this particular POM competition, and I felt very fortunate to do as well as I did.
To coin a phrase, 'I got lucky.'
I've made a slight revision to the offending line you mentioned.
Hopefully it reads more to your liking now.
Thanks again, Grasshopper 2.
I sincerely appreciate the review.
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reply by Grasshopper2 on 17-Feb-2017
It certainly does, Olly. I forgot to mention your choice of music adds a hauntingly solemn mood to the poem. A nice touch.
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reply by the author on 17-Feb-2017
Thanks again for your suggestion, Michael.
I appreciate the help.
~Dean :}
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Comment by | | | | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 157 | Author Rating For Short Works
Rank: 136 | Review Stars
Rank: 161 | | | |
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| In my opinion, and one shared by all who read this emotionally sensitive and melancholy work, beautifully and artfully expressed. Well constructed within its rhyming sadness and ultimate acceptance of what is and will be...
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Comment Written 16-Feb-2017 |
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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
Thanks, Eve.
I sincerely appreciate the complimentary read and review.
Much obliged for your feedback and the generous six.
Take care,
~Dean
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reply by evesayshi on 19-Feb-2017
You are very welcome. Dean, take care as well, and thank you for the superb read...Eve
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reply by the author on 19-Feb-2017
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reply by evesayshi on 20-Feb-2017
I love your emoji, Dean. I may not understand it, but I love it - does it mean you're giving me a hug perhaps? If so, thank you...Eve
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reply by the author on 20-Feb-2017
Yes, it does, Eve.
A big cyber hug. :)
Thanks again!
~Dean
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reply by evesayshi on 20-Feb-2017
And one back to you, Dean - thank you again...Eve
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Comment by| 2012 Short Works Writer Of The Year | | | | | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
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Rank: 484 | | | |
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Comment by
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Wow! It is not difficult to understand why you are so high in the rankings, or why "My Hoary Home" captured first place in the Poem of the Month competition! What a beautifully crafted piece! I love the lyrics, the flow, and the profound message of the poem. The background music certainly enhanced the melancholy tone. It is fair to say I am inspired and terrified after reading this poem. Mission accomplished! Actually, more accurately then reading this poem, I should say I felt this poem, or I experienced this poem. It is a keeper. You have a new fan.
Keep well, Dean.
Gil
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Comment Written 10-Feb-2017 |
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Comment by | | Premier Author | | | Premier Reader | | | Poet Rating
| Author Rating For Short Works
| Review Stars
Rank: 524 | | | |
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Comment by | | May All Beings Be Happy | | | | | Poet Rating
Rank: 78 | Author Rating For Short Works
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Rank: 148 | | | |
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Congrats on placing in the POM contest, dear Dean./ This is excellent. So well penned, as usual from you, with a fine presentation too. I enjoyed the rhymes and internal rhymes (well timed0 the fluid flow and flawless meter and the fantastic phrasing phonetics (too many nuances to note but you know I noticed them all and applaud) as well as the strong deep POV and inspired love story--poignant in its impermanence.
I drift along death's dusty road.
Don't we all! And this is so well alliterated!
Great lines:
Do I deserve such bitter fate, whilst hopeless fools now congregate
around a hole dug deep in Earth? Why was I here, what was my worth?
This stanza is utterly outstanding:
Now, light as air, I rise above, my broken dreams, all those I love,
like floating feathers on the wind, that can't control where currents send
them drifting on, 'tis now the day, I'll ne'er return, thus whisked away.
An earthen hollow, deep in loam, will now become my hoary home.
Glad I still have a six!
This is a contender for my vote.
Warmly,
rd
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Comment Written 08-Feb-2017 |
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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this very personal poem for me, dear rama, and for giving me such in-depth break down in your review.
There is a lot of "me" in this, possibly more so than any other poem I've written in my four years spent here at FanStory.
Again, I deeply appreciate your time as well as your positive feedback.
Thank you too for the six stars, that means a great deal to me coming from you, and especially for this poem.
I'm truly grateful to you for all.
Warmest wishes,
~Dean
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reply by rama devi on 08-Feb-2017
I am so glad you share this, as it is my favorite of yours thus far, and I also voted for it. Bravo!
Warmest Smiles,
rd
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reply by the author on 08-Feb-2017
Thanks a bunch!
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reply by rama devi on 08-Feb-2017
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Comment by | | | | | Review Stars
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Up For ReviewStand Out WritingAdditional Reading
A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.