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Reviews from
My Hoary Home


Leaving with regrets...

  107 total reviews 
Comment by
davisr (Rhonda)
Premier Author
Rhonda
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  126
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  Rank:  76 (+2)
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Review Stars
  Rank:  155
 
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Well penned, my friend.
We see a man who's reached the end of life, and looks back, a bit, on life and love.
He has some regrets, a bit of angst, but lets it go as life fades away.

Nicely packaged,
Rhonda


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thanks. :)
Comment by
kiwisteveh
Level 1 Pro
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  Rank:  114
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  Rank:  108
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  Rank:  153
 
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Dean, I'm sorry, I can't quite get past the title (and last line). There seem to be two clear definitions for 'hoary'
1. grey/white (as with old age)
2. trite, unoriginal, cliched

Neither of those seem to accurately represent this old chap's grave which I think is what the line refers to.

Apart from that, it is a wonderful poem. As we age our thoughts naturally turn to our own mortality. This chap, like most of us, has regrets, but is generally content with his life as he has lived it. Love has not always been kind, but one great love fills up stanza 3.

I must mention the stanza style - one of your favourites I think - iambic octameter with strong abcb rhyme and of course the plethora of internal rhyme, here occupying every line, and very regular as well falling on syllables 8 and 16 in each line. So, we end up with a very smooth flow, a pleasure to read and impressive when read aloud.

It is difficult to achieve, but you show a level of mastery here. there is one rhyme where I don't quite get the intended meaning (discontented), but the rest is magic.

Presentation as always is top-notch.

Steve


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    It's actually referring more to his mortal shell--his old, tired, worn out body-- that his spirit is contained within than the grave itself, Steve.
    Thanks for reading.
Comment by
l.raven
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HI Dean, this one...tears...I don't know why...but it did...I hate the thought of anyone dying alone...and my husband did...the doctor told me my husband could go home in two days...I thought everything was ok...and I left the hospital...they called 12 hours later and said he was in a coma...I never spoke to him after I left...he died three days later...I stayed with him...I never got to say goodbye...a man who was never sick...I live everyday regretting that I left that room...no one should die alone...I think this is one of your best my friend...very well written...love Linda xxoo


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thank you for sharing your story, Linda, and for your review as well.
    ~Dean

reply by l.raven on 16-Jan-2017
    you are so welcome Dean...always my friend...love Linda xxoo
Comment by
Commando
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W. Isaac
 
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  Rank:  20
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  Rank:  229
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
I can truly say; "They don't come any better than this one!" Your best ever, that I've read. Thanks for sharing, Dean. Respectfully, Bill


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    You're too kind, Bill, as you are an exceptionally talented poet yourself.
    But, I do appreciate your kind comments and the six.
    Thanks so much for reading.
    ~Dean

reply by Commando on 16-Jan-2017
    You're more than welcome, Dean. You earned it! Keep on writing em. Bill

reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    I'll do my best, Bill.
    You do the same.:)
Comment by
whizpurr ^-^
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Oh my goodness! You, Mr. Poet, are a profound writer of profound poems! With your thoughtful, well chosen words, you touched the hearts of readers as you brought them into the thoughts a dying person might be thinking as he remembers the both the sweetness and the agony he has experienced. I've often seen a whole story written on the faces of the sick and elderly. Great work! Warm regards, Aggie


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thanks so much, Aggie. These are things I think about from time to time the older I get.
    I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments, and the six stars as well.
    Thanks so much again for reading.
    ~Dean
Comment by
lyenochka
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Poet Rating
  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  5
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  Rank:  2
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  Rank:  2
Review Stars
  Rank:  3
 

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Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Beautifully expressed! I think you've captured most people's worst dream -- to leave this earth without a sense of having fully lived and with many regrets. A lyrical warning about our mortality.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thanks so much, lyenochka.
    These are things I think about from time to time the older I get.
    I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments, and the six stars as well.
    Thanks so much again for reading.
    ~Dean
Comment by
LIJ Red
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Hot dang, tetrameter couplets all strung out. Looks and reads fine to me, but 't'ain't just the most merry and cheery thing I have read lately. Excellent post, Dean.


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Hahaha, no...probably not, Red.
    But YOU should talk, right?
    Thanks for reading.
Comment by
Luna
 
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Dean, this one brought me to tears. You so eloquently told the tale of the man who is ruminating on his life due to his nearing demise. However, then it becomes a romantic poem in an unexpected term and it absolutely adored it, and together with the music, which is awesome.

Keep writing, my fiend.

jeni


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thanks, Jeni.
Comment by
Kassa-Leigh
 
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I don't think I've ever read your work before, so hello! This poem was a sad, but beautiful piece of work. I liked it very much. The descriptive words you used, were wonderful. Thank you for sharing it, and I look forward to reading more of your work.
Cheryl-Lynette


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thanks so much for taking an interest in my poetic endeavors, Kassa-Leigh. I do appreciate you dropping by.
    The things expressed in this poem are thoughts I often I think about from time to time the older I get.
    I really appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments.
    Thanks so much again for reading.
    ~Dean
Comment by
Irish Rain
Level 4 Pro
 
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  Rank:  51
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  Rank:  110
 
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Aww, this is sad. Especially as he wondered what it was all for. We often think it's pointless, but we aren't standing on the mountain, seeing all directions. He who is, knows our work, our lives...even what we write has great impact. Beautiful Mr. Dean, Sunday blessings to you!!!


 Comment Written 15-Jan-2017



reply by the author on 16-Jan-2017
    Thanks, Judy.
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