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25 total reviews
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Comment by | | | | Review Stars  | | |
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Comment by | | | | Review Stars  | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars     | | |
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Comment by | Premier Author | | Premier Reader | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars     | | |
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This is such a well written and balanced story. No wonder you won the contest. Excellent narrative voice. The first line does its job by hooking the reader and raising questions that need to be answered. Excellent development of the characters, especially the POV character as she works through her hopes, angst, fears and joys. You create a distinct sense of place and time that somehow changes as time passes, yet becomes timeless. Wonderful happy ending, just the thing for Valentine's Day. Congratulations.
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Comment Written 23-Feb-2017 |
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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
Thankyou for the stars and your very kind words. Love stories are timeless, yet most don't acknowledge the devotion and advancing years. I'm still impressed when I see old couples holding hands. Though, my husband once said that we held (gone) hands because if we ever let go, we'd kill each other. Thanks again.
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reply by w.j.debi on 23-Feb-2017
Sounds like you had a wonderful relationship.
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reply by the author on 23-Feb-2017
Parts of it were excellent, but like life, not always.
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Comment by | | | | Review Stars  | | |
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Comment by | Fanstory | | Recognized Writer | | Poet Rating      | Author Rating For Short Works      | Author Rating For Novels      | Review Stars  | | |
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This piece is fantastic, Ingrid! You had me so wrapped up in this story that I couldn't read it fast enough to find out what happened next. You made me care about Ava and Jake. I felt what Ava felt - I wasn't reading the story, I was IN the story. You handled their love making scene absolutely perfect. You gave the reader just enough to know what was happening, but not so much as to cheapen the story. I never expected the ending. When it was Jake that sent her that rose, I cried. I don't mean I got a little teary, I cried. I don't need to get into the mechanics of it all - transitions, action, dialogue, etc. They were all excellent.
I noticed two things.
"Are we together" (Need a question mark at the end.)
take me home and make love to me."
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I do believe (You have an extra set of quotation marks floating around having a fun time. :o))
This piece is excellent. It was a pleasure to read something so well written. Good luck in the contest. This will hold its own and be a contender, for sure.
Suzanne
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Comment Written 19-Jan-2017 |
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reply by the author on 19-Jan-2017
Thank you very much for the stars, the tears and kind words. Spag located and corrected.
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