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Reviews from
Sally & Poe


A writer's story turned against her.

  39 total reviews 
Comment by
nassus1957
 
Poet Rating
 
Author Rating For Short Works
 
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Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow i love this, so far out, but not really that bloody. I really don't like horror stories with so much blood and murder. But yours, is quite different because there is some retribution at the end when you cautioned to the authors, " be careful what you write for it might come true". Thanks for sharing an excellent write.


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the great review! I'm glad you liked this. I hear you about all the blood and murder in horror stories. For me, blood and guts only goes so far; I need an actual story in there somewhere. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this piece.
    Suzanne
Comment by
LIJ Red
Premier Author
 
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Excellent
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Like Janissaries of Emilion except Sally was writing instead of dreaming...good idea,
we do get involved in our stories at times. And as a dog man, hurrah for Poe.


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for this great review. Hurrah for Poe, indeed! I like his face washing abilities! I'm glad you liked this and felt the story within a story was a good idea. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this.
    Suzanne
Comment by
judsmith
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Wow, this was great. I loved it. The entire concept was unique, bringing the writer's character to life. Very creative. It would have gotten Six Stars but for the fact that I guessed what was happening a bit too early with the mist being the "thing" wounded and trying to get away in your protagonist's story. Also, I knew the washcloth was Poe. But these are minor things. Overall, this was an exciting tale which flowed well and was brilliantly told. Well done. Respectfully, Jud Smith P.S. - I would really appreciate it if you would take the time to read, rate and comment on my short story entry, "Equine Drag Race". It is Chapter 19 of my self-published book "The Justin Gates Chronicles - California Nightmare" which actually happened in 1961, the summer just before my sixteenth birthday. Thanks, and, again, bravo on your story. J.S.


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the great review. I'm glad you liked this piece and felt the concept was unique. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this piece.
    Suzanne
Comment by
2019 Novelist of the Year
Ulla
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  108
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  153
Author Rating For Novels
  Rank:  3
Review Stars
  Rank:  39
 

#3 Ranked Novelist
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
Hi There, very good story and it certainly pass the muster for being a horror story. Yeah, just imagine if some of our characters came alive. Doesn't bear thinking of. Good luck in the contest. All the best. Ulla:)))


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the nice review, Ulla. I'm glad you liked this piece. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this.
    Suzanne
Comment by
mbroyles2
 
Review Stars
 
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
A great read with a terrific pace and suspense.
A fictional story that takes a life of its own and promises death to the author if she continues.
She figures it out in time.
I love the name you gave the dog. "Poe" fits really well with this theme and is a highlight of the story.
Michael


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for this great review, Michael. I'm glad you like Poe's name and his part in the story. He wanted to be the main character, but I made him play second fiddle this time. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this piece.
    Suzanne
Comment by
Mastery
Published Author
Semper Fi
 
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  Rank:  10
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#10 Ranked Novelist
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Hi, Suzzane. LOng time between posts, my friend, but well worth the wait. Your story is well written. then imagery is outstanding throughout. Like:

"The door flew open as fast as it shut. An ethereal mist, of translucent black, swirled into the room. Sally breathed in staccato; her chest too weak to correct her breathing. She felt her stomach contents rise in her throat. Poe started forward, but Sally grabbed his collar. He snapped his teeth together in fast repetition and emitted a guttural growl. Saliva dripped from his teeth. He jerked ahead and broke free from her grasp"

The interaction with the dog, Poe, is well done.


Suggestions: "He picked up his ears and looked in the direction of the door." (I think you want "perked" instead of "picked" here.

And: You have referenced this image twice. I don't think you need both of them."
Goose bumps ran up and down her arms, and she shuddered, just a little."

And then in a following paragraaph rather close to this, you say: " She felt the hair on her arms rise. They stood straight up, and pushed against her sleeves." (and if you use this one...the last part about the sleeves is a bit over the top, I think)

I wish you well in the contest, my friend. Bravo! Bob


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Hey, Bob! Thank you for the great review and that sixer, too! I'm glad you liked this piece. I had a good time writing it. Had to have a dog in there, somewhere. They make everything much more enjoyable. Thanks for the observations/suggestions. I've gotta check out the double reference to the goose bumps - I didn't realize I did that. See, no matter how many times you look at your own writing, something always gets by. Thanks for the good wishes in the contest.
    Suzanne

reply by Mastery on 12-Feb-2017
    I know what you mean about things slipping by...believe me, Suze. Bless you. Bob
Comment by
Cindy Warren
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
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  Rank:  128
 
Excellent
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I'll be VERY careful what I write from now on. Imagine creating something that could come back to haunt you! That thing might even have continued to exist after Sally died had she not been so lucky.


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the great review. I'm glad you liked the story. If I thought something I wrote would jump off the pages and come after me, you can be sure I'd make him tall, dark, and handsome -oh yes, and rich. LOL I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this piece.

    Suzanne
Comment by
Meia (MESAYERS)
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  81
Author Rating For Short Works
 
Review Stars
  Rank:  110
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
what a brilliant entry for the Horror story entry. It works allusions to Edgar Allan Poe into the story so seamlessly, the story within a story idea is also very strong. Wonderful work very much enjoyed by me, kindest regards, Meia :)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the great review. I'm glad you liked the story within a story idea. It was a lot of fun to write. I appreciate your taking the time to read and comment on this.
    Suzanne
Comment by
davisr (Rhonda)
Premier Author
Rhonda
 
Poet Rating
 
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Review Stars
  Rank:  186
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Now, that's truly a horror story. I like the way you added in the need to be more direct about description, otherwise there is just a vague image in our heads. I definitely needed that lesson, and you added it in so subtly.

I definitely wish you luck in the contest!! We all know how competitive they are. lol.
I like the uniqueness of the story and the lesson.

Take care,
Rhonda


 Comment Written 12-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 12-Feb-2017
    Thank you for the wonderful review, Rhonda! I appreciate the six stars also. I had so much fun writing this story. Actually, it wrote itself. Sally took over and wrote the piece. When I started, I had no idea I was going to do a story within a story - that was all Sally. You caught that sneaky little lesson about description, huh? What about the one with the overuse of adverbs? Sally is a much better writer now that she had all these lessons thrown at her! LOL

    Thanks for reviewing and for the good wishes in the contest!

    Suzanne
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