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Reviews from
Harley Bound For West Texas


A sequel to my last poem-Dear John

  27 total reviews 
Comment by
Tina Crute
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  92
Review Stars
  Rank:  308
 
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I loved your poem. Not being adept at storytelling yet, I can appreciate that you ARE!
I love your choice of verbs...roaring, singing, bumped,bounced, etc. They make me feel I can see you heading down the road on your long trek:) I am a newbie and am amazed at the talent on here. I will want to read more of your work for sure.


 Comment Written 29-Sep-2018


Comment by
meeshu
 
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"I've been everywhere, man." I am reminded of Johnny's song as I read your great poem. some fantastic images in this work, Jaybird1...............meeshu


 Comment Written 29-Sep-2018


Comment by
Earl Corp
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  Rank:  152
 
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The fact that this rhymes is worth 5 stars. Your being a veteran and a harley rider would have gotten you six stars if i had any left. Very nice job.


 Comment Written 29-Sep-2018


Comment by
LateBloomer
Free Verse is free flow from the heart
~ Till we meet in print ~
 
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  Rank:  444
 
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Hello jaybird1, Your poem just flowed as if it were a Harley. Silky rhyming, vivid imagery, and good alliteration: bumped and bounced. I especially liked:

I braked in gravel and was thrown,
skinning elbows and my pride.

(I can see it; I can hear it.)

Also:
The sun and wind had burned my nose,
like a well done char-broiled steak.

(Good analogy)

A fun poem. I could feel the adventure within. Keep the blue waters flowing. LateBloomer








 Comment Written 28-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 02-Mar-2017
    Thank you friend-appreciated
Comment by
Vijay Kumar V
 
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I loved the ways it rhymes and placing of words. A great piece of work especially ' Fourteen hundred miles awaited,
miles of wind and bugs and sun,
of two lane roads and fogs and dogs
'ere this trip was ever done '

This is my favourite and inspired me never to miss time ' My leave was up at twelve 'oclock,
but I arrived at seven
and passed into those campground gates'
back into Air Force heaven

Great poem
Have a nice day


 Comment Written 25-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 03-Mar-2017
    Thank you for such a thorough comment-it wasgreatly appreciated
Comment by
Pantygynt
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  Rank:  68
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  Rank:  4
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  Rank:  29
 

#4 Ranked Novelist
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Memoirs of a nineteen year old, aged ninety two. In this bustling travelog poem, that flows with the sense of urgency of an airman needing to get back to camp before his leave pass runs out, your love of the open road and your Harley comes over clearly. As an ex biker myself I was there with you all the way, singing too (I used to do that on the bike, and still do it in the car). I gave a wry smile at the lines about the ache in your back. I suffer back pain to this day and the doctors tell me it is down to those biking days.

Part of the effectivenes of this poem is down to the mixed meter selected. The driving rhythm of trochaic terameter contrasts occasionally with an iambic line when progress is not so rapid as when you "bumped and bounced through Arkansas", or when you took a tumble.

Very effectively written.


 Comment Written 25-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 03-Mar-2017
    This was a mighty thorough comment as was highly appreciated

reply by Pantygynt on 03-Mar-2017
    You are most welcome.
Comment by
sue133
 
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What a great poem. It had such spirit in it and rattled along at a great pace. Although from the UK, I found myself reading it in my head with a Texan accent! Congratulations. Susan


 Comment Written 25-Feb-2017


Comment by
heyjude
 
Review Stars
 
 
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level
Jay, I truly enjoyed this poem. At one time I had a boyfriend who
had a motorcycle. I used to ride on the back of it. Those were my
days when I didn't think about how fragile your life is on the back of
those. You make it sound so exciting; except for the bugs.


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
    Thank you for your many comments and that great rating
Comment by
Kerry Robinson
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  Rank:  133
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  Rank:  473
 
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I enjoyed your poem Jay.
It had an air of excitement, I can almost feel the wind in my hair with
your detail and expression. It was well written.


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2017


Comment by
Meia (MESAYERS)
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  Rank:  451
 
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'Now, into Texas I bore on,
still with many miles to make
The sun and wind had burned my nose,
like a well done char-broiled steak.'
This is stunning, a really meaningful and impressive poem. I enjoyed it so much and will look forward to more of your poems you are becoming a favorite of mine I even started writing sonnets, imagine...you are a great talent well done, Meiax


 Comment Written 23-Feb-2017



reply by the author on 24-Feb-2017
    Meia-I am grateful for your interest in my offerings and am anxious to see your sonnets
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