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Reviews from
Second Annual Shock-O-Rama


Winning Is Everything

  37 total reviews 
Comment by
mbroyles2
 
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I enjoyed reading this.
Not sure the contestants knew all the rules but it probably didn't matter.
Very colorful and excellent artwork.
QuicK and snappy.
Perfect.
Michael


 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    So glad you enjoyed reading this, Michael. Has to be quick and snappy with only a hundred words.
Comment by
Alcreator Litt Dear
 
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How and why winning a game is everything is here I find and enjoyed the read, natural expression of feeling and emotion themed, plotted so briefly.


 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    I was trying to explore the furthest reaches of "shock" and so-called "reality tv". Think Charley Manson, Alice Cooper (specifically with the empty bird cage), the tv show "Naked and Afraid." Thank you so much for reading and reviewing, my friend.
Comment by
Nikki-Nicole
 
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This was a great piece of fiction.
Great details.
Great artwork.- It shows creativity.
Nice title, 'Second-Annual Shock-O-Rama'.
Sometimes we think we have to win every game or pie-eating contest; winning isn't everything...
Thanks for the author's notes.
Thank you for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-


 Comment Written 05-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    Bless you, Nicole. Fore reading this and for your kind words.
Comment by
Marvin Calloway
 
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This is another side of you, just as interesting and daring as the others. You use exacting descriptions on uncertain events.
I enjoyed the challenge but not sure I'm up to it.


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    Hey, Marv. thanks for reading this. I'm glad you found it worthwhile.
Comment by
LIJ Red
Premier Author
 
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I got the game show flavor,(Running Man?) and the allusions to Charlie and Lynnette, but why did the cat swallow the parrot, or canary? Excellent writing and images, as
ever. Duh.


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    You're the second one to think that a cat swallowed the bird. Think Ozzie Osbourne. Thanks for reading it, REd.
Comment by
--Turtle.
 
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  Rank:  194
 
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I figure this is some sort of game show where the contestants shoot themselves in the head? There is a gruesome. The name Marley Chanson gives the dreamy subconcious impression of Charlie Manson. I also see clowns in this death for entertainment type programming. Clowns and chickens and authoritarians.

A strange mashup of visuals that admittedly leaves me scratching my head as to what is actually going on, but it's got the tension and screaming sounds of madness that suits my mood.

As I read, I hear a lot of chaos and maniacal laughter and tears. For a short piece, it is jam packed with strong verbs and disturbing imagery. It could be about anything, and everything, in some ways, the mood and effort of the reader to peep through a gourd hole will influence what they might see.

I opt to see the vile hunger of a crowd to watch other's suffer for their entertainment.



 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    God, I love your take on things I write, Turtle. "it's got the tension and screaming sounds of madness that suits my mood." I wish more could accept not being 100 percent correct in their interpretation. I purposely left it vague, but I did weaken to give the reader a summary of my INTENTION in writing it. Here it is: Marley Chanson is Charley Manson. Squeaky Froome (the one who passed out) was the one, in real life, who tried to assassinate Gerald Ford. Both Squeaky and the spiral vomiter were reacting to Marley Chanson's shocking performance. It was only alluded to by the "painting" of Chirpy's empty bird cage, and with less allusion, Marley's sticky hands and gagging on feathers and coppery (bloody) effluvia. I was trying to capture the feeling of the shock generation we live in. The ante is always being upped. Shock jock, Shock rock (Ozzie Osbourne, who munched a bird on stage gave me the idea.)Then there's the incredibly popular reality TV--culminated with "Naked and Afraid." What does nakedness have to do with anything (except shock), and then they blur out the private parts. Go figure. Thanks, Turtle. I hope I didn't disturb you by showing my hand.

reply by --Turtle. on 05-Apr-2017
    I'm not disturbed by the disturbing. It all falls into place and I'm giddy that even forgetting or missing or misremembering history (I always thought it was alice cooper who ate the chicken... I was close on the sense of this is the kind of thing people crave to see on the stage. And there's always someone to oblige. The authority's disqualified signals of all the madness for entertainment, there's a fine line between going to jail and getting paid.

    Did you know in one of those, go suffer in the woods shows, one group was not told that the show had been canceled and they were out in the woods hungry, cold, and fighting their peers for no reason. Thank you for filling in the blank! I can appreciate the visuals in the irony of it not just where we are going in entertainment, but in how it evolved, and the line crossed.

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    YOu could very well be right about Alice Cooper. I know he often had a huge snake around his neck when he performed and was known to put its head in his mouth.

reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    turtle, would you kindly read this again? I made some changes in the second line.

reply by --Turtle. on 05-Apr-2017
    Ha, it took me a few moments to realize you meant the Haiku, and not the short flash you replied on...

reply by --Turtle. on 05-Apr-2017
    I updated my review. : )
Comment by
emptypage
 
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I have read this several times. I'm drawn to it. The writing is colorful and exciting and the image is provocative and gruesome. The word pictures are far worse, and I'm having very mixed feelings.

I'm not sure I even know what just happened. Damn. What do you do with 50 words?? LOL.


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    Probably shouldn't do this, but here's a summary I gave a few: Marley Chanson is Charley Manson. Squeaky Froome (the one who passed out) was the one, in real life, who tried to assassinate Gerald Ford. Both Squeaky and the spiral vomiter were reacting to Marley Chanson's shocking performance. It was only alluded to by the "painting" of Chirpy's empty bird cage, and with less allusion, Marley's sticky hands and gagging on feathers and coppery (bloody) effluvia. I only had 100 words. Thanks again for reading this. We'll see what I can come up with in 50 words next week.

reply by emptypage on 04-Apr-2017
    I know you were limited, and I got Charles Manson but not Squeaky. I knew coppery. Now I have to go read it again. And again. LOL.

reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    Yes, I was trying to capture the feeling of the shock generation we live in. The ante is always being upped. Shock jock, Shock rock (Ozzie Osbourne, who munched a bird on stage gave me the idea.)Then there's the incredibly popular reality TV--culminated with "Naked and Afraid." What does nakedness have to do with anything (except shock), and then they blur out the private parts. Go figure.

reply by emptypage on 04-Apr-2017
    Yeah, I love Naked and Afraid...hate reality shows. But they whine. It's very realistic. I just with they'd stop blurring, lol.
Comment by
F. Wehr3
 
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This is a very bold attempt for the contest. I had to read four times before some it made sense, and then I cheated and looked at your previous reviews, lol. I think some it has conflicting imagery (unfurls doesn't bring vomiting to mind). In my mind, I was looking at birds with possibly a cat involved, hence the open cage, soiled grin (Cheshire cat), and the rising feathers in his throat. Boy, I've never been so wrong. I thought effluvia was an odor from a gas. I could be wrong. Suggest more extensive author notes. By the way, I loved your first sentence. Best of luck in the contest.

Take care,
Russell


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    You're kinda right about effluvia. I was taking it as more a taste-smell. To me (again) unfurled suggests a billowing outward movement from an object. Dang, though, you put so much more thought into your interpretation than most. Did you get the play on words for Marley Chanson?

reply by F. Wehr3 on 04-Apr-2017
    Your welcome, Jay. I think it's the least I could do for you after you've helped me so much over the last year.

    I didn't initially get the Charlie Manson thing, though now it seems obvious, but I did realize you intended for the name to have meaning because you included both a first and last name where word economy is so important. Good luck!
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
 
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Either stay asleep or take better hallucinogens, Jay.
One or the other, heh-heh...
Ya know, micro-flash fiction is to prose what haiku and senryu are to poetry.
Simple, impactful, brief (of course), and to the point.
The "simpler" the message conveyed, the better it will be received.
There's little need for posturing by using "BIG", extravagant words to establish how intelligent we are.
It's simply unnecessary, and it often comes across as pretentious to more...discerning readers.
Because, let's face it, some folks just ain't gonna get it.
Less is best, and simpler (at least as it applies to flash) is better.
That's my opinion at least.

This is, of course, error and SPAG free, as are all of your writes.
Nice anagram too with "Marley Chanson"
Helter Skelter lives again!
Heh-heh-heh...
 photo cooltext210450993103317_zpsnaocmzmr.png


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    Thank you so much, Dean. Your point's well-taken. I'm guessing effluvia didn't set well with you? You're absolutely right though about the wordiness.

reply by Dean Kuch on 04-Apr-2017
    It set well enough with me, Jay.
    It's just that some simply won't get it.
    I thought the story was quite clever and witty myself.
    I wish you the very best of luck with it.
    ~Dean :)
Comment by
Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
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  Rank:  271
 
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I was going to say wait until you wake up completely and then create something entirely new that I can understand, Jay. You always think outside the square which I appreciate very much, but this one was a little too far left field even for me to understand. I gave it a second reading and honed in really closely but still only have a vague idea. I'm awarding five stars for originality, Giddy :):)


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 04-Apr-2017
    Thanks, Giddy. Don't feel bad. Here's a kind of summary I gave a few others: Marley Chanson is Charley Manson. Squeaky Froome (the one who passed out) was the one who, in real life, tried to assassinate Gerald Ford. Both Squeaky and the spiral vomiter were reacting to Marley Chanson's shocking performance which was only alluded to by the "painting" of Chirpy's empty bird cage, and with less allusion, Marley's sticky hands and gagging on feathers and coppery (bloody) effluvia. I only had 100 words. Thanks again for reading this, Giddy.
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