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Reviews from
Those eyes


senryu contest

  7 total reviews 
Comment by
2018 Short Works Writer of the Year
Mustang Patty
 
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Thank you for this lovely senryu. The syllable count is right, and I appreciated your 'pun.' The presentation works well, and the subject is one of eternal praise,
~patty~


 Comment Written 06-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 06-Apr-2017
    Wow! Thank you Patty for this most inspiring review my friend.
    God bless!
    Steve
Comment by
emptypage
 
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Haha, this is the first time I can't fuss at someone about the difference between "peeked" and "piqued" (not to mention "peaked," lol) because you have those eyes!!! I'm an English teacher when I'm not writing, so the urge is always in my brain.

Well done. You've got my vote.


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    Awe! Thank you emptypage for this incredible review with vote in hand. I do love my play on words.
    God bless!
Comment by
2016 Poet Of The Year
Dean Kuch
Premier Author
Some people dre...
 
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Ah...it took me a moment.
"Peaked" (or the proper usage in this instance), verses peeked ( for the double entendre), I get it, LOL...
Very witty and clever.
Your syllable count is perfect too, well within the limits set for senryu.
You got my vote!
Best of luck the rest of the way...
~Dean :}


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    Dean! Your vote is most welcome my friend. Thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless!
Comment by
Gypsy Blue Rose
Premier Author
Premier Reader
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  12 (+1)
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  Rank:  9
 
Excellent
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Good job, my friend. Your syllable count is correct and the emotion is love. Your connection between lines one and two are good.

Well done my friend. Good luck in the contest.

Gypsy


 Comment Written 04-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 05-Apr-2017
    Thank you Gypsy for the awesome review.
    God bless!
Comment by
Teri7
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  19
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  Rank:  17
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 Rank:  13
 
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This is a very well written senyru you have penned for the prompt. You used very good descriptive wording and the picture went so well with it. Blessings, Teri


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
    Thank you for the awesome review Teri.
    God bless!
Comment by
rspoet
Premier Author
 
Poet Rating
  Rank:  32
Author Rating For Short Works
  Rank:  20
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  Rank:  83
 
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted
This is a fine entry for the senryu contest
with the exact syllables of the traditional form at 5-7-5
Excellent imagery in the eyes
and nice third line linking back to sight
Perfect picture to match
Well done
Good luck in the contest


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
    Thank you rspoet for the awesome review,.
    God bless!
Comment by
nuthead
 
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Love at first sight. Not sure I believe in that concept but makes for romantic stories and poetry. :) Is "peeked" a play on words? That the eyes peeked/piqued my curiosity. Neat.

Small typo in the first line: afar is one word.

###
Those eyes from a far
peeked my curiosity
'twas love at first sight
###


 Comment Written 03-Apr-2017



reply by the author on 03-Apr-2017
    Ha! Yes it's afar lol. Not sure how that got away from my line of sight. And yes, peeked is a play on words. I love that you got that. I fear many won't. Thank you for the awesome review.
    God bless!
    Steve
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